Torn on attending a wedding with a positive covid test

[Raveien]

Hello All,

Just looking for advice really, I've been feeling under the weather with cold symptoms after going to a festival and I did a covid test today and its positive. My partner has done a test and is negative. We're both due to travel up country tomorrow, for a wedding on Saturday. I don't know the couple, I am meant to be meeting them for the first time during this wedding. My partner has another covid test that he'll take tomorrow.

I had my partner message the groom to let him know, and he's said for both of us to come anyways, and to just not make a big song and dance for testing positive, he's said about 90 people are going and the chances of someone else having it, irregardless of me, is quite high. My partner will still go without me, I think, but has said he'll be sad without me there, and is of the opinion that if the groom is fine with it, I should still go. But of course, there could be people in attendance who are vulnerable.

However I feel really torn, because my best friend has said she'll be really disappointed in me if I go, and that I don't know these people, so technically I won't be missing out on much - which is true. She said if I was asymptomatic that would be different, but I do have common cold symptoms, but they are manageable with cold and flu medicine.

Just seeking some advice really, if the groom had of said 'she can't come with covid' it would have been so much easier, but now I'm torn between my partner and the groom saying to come, and my best friend saying it would be the wrong thing to do. Would it be unreasonable for me to still go?

Same. Would you have gone if you hadn’t tested and just had a bit of a cold?

Can you even still buy covid tests?! I’ve not seen them anywhere.

How is the wedding industry getting on with suing the government for decimating the industry in 2020?

(misses the point, wondering if there will be a scandal that the tests we were moralised into taking were never genuine; after all, there was scandal after scandal, and I think we haven’t seen all of them yet)

God I despise men who do that. It’s like they’re worried they may have to take on more of the drudge if their domestic appliance (wife or partner) is malfunctioning, so they quickly pretend they’re just as ill, ideally worse, so they don’t have to do anything at all. Which of course leaves women to try to soldier on and do it while he kicks back, pretending to be ill, and doing even less than usual. Ugh. 🤮

Current covid strain is quite unpleasant and involves a cough likely to carry on for one month plus. So that's a chronic cough even for a young person who shakes it off in 4-5 weeks. I'd be inclined to be cautious if that's what your symptoms are.

Of course you can still buy tests. I get them from Amazon regularly and my local pharmacy always has them on display.

I’m so shocked at the complacency of the posters on this thread. I’ve had the vaccine every chance I got (2 doses + booster, and then paid for one once they became available last winter and then another in pregnancy) and I’ve still had Covid 5 times (teacher). It’s horrendous every time. It does not get milder with each reinfection.

My colleague’s husband died from it despite being vaccinated.

It is not just a cold and it would be incredibly selfish of you to travel from your home and go to a gathering knowing you have it and are symptomatic. You are being completely unreasonable to knowingly go to a wedding to spread covid.

My relative is now in a wheelchair because of the effects of long Covid, which has really opened my eyes. It's not just a cold: I think of it as more like the flu, as in proper flu that in even healthy people might lay them up for a week or so, and in those more vulnerable is often dangerous - and the flu can also cause horrible postviral effects, though perhaps rarer. I personally couldn't bring myself to go to a gathering with Covid, though the last time I had it I felt ill enough that I didn't want to anyway.

I do think that testing is silly if you have no intention of doing anything with that information.

If you feel well enough to go then go, if you don't then don't, it's quite simple. Last time I had covid I was at Wimbledon and went downhill pretty quickly. I couldn't go to my daughter's sports day the next day as I felt rough. You will know if you are well enough to go.

I had the latest strain, I assume, 2 months ago. I am not particularly vulnerable. It was awful. I was in bed for two weeks. The second week my breathing was really compromised. I could hardly walk to the loo. I felt fortunate it did clear quickly when it went, but it is very contagious. I gave it to my whole family. It is certainly not ‘nothing’.

Fuck off,

2 years LC. Given me ptsd. Too ill from long covid to get treatment for PTSD. Can’t even leave the house. I’m living a nightmare every day.

Of course you shouldn't go. COVID is not just a cold for some people.

I didn't even know you can still get tests. But you obviously know you are sick, I don't think the groom can speak on behalf of all of the guests that they don't mind catching it, and you don't even know the couple. so in this situation, it seems like you should stay home. If it was your sibling or best friend and you really couldn't miss it, it might be different but not when you don't even know them.

The level of ignorance on this thread is appalling. It's incredibly sad that many of you are so self absorbed that you don't understand the harm that this "just a cold" can still do to others.

Why are you still testing? Do you take a test every time you cough, have the runs, a sore throat or an upset tummy?
it’s not 2020 any more

As long as I felt up to it I’d go. Theres loads of other contagious illnesses that people don’t test for but still go about their lives. I’m surprised you even tested tbh.

We’ve had a few people at work with it (so they must have tested) and I appreciate that they haven’t come into work and spread it. I’m glad people are still testing if they fear they have it and isolating when they do. I’ve only had it once and wasn’t ill but have seen too many who have been.

I would not go. There is likely to be elderly and possibly vulnerable people there

if you had flu you wouldn’t go

the Ignorance on this thread is amazing as it the selfish behaviour of lots of you

its not a cold, it’s not flu, it’s a very nasty virus that can knock you out and leave long lasting effects for some, (more and more it seems as knowledge about covid increases)

why do you think it’s acceptable to share this virus?

Humanity seems to be pretty much split in two camps on this one.

Camp 1 - any mitigating behaviour should be by the person affected by the situation - so elderly/otherwise vulnerable people should avoid social situations where disease-laden individuals might be hanging out (and people who want quiet enjoyment of their homes should move away from the noisy people, etc, etc…..)

and Camp 2 - mitigating behaviour should be by the people causing the situation - infectious guests should decline invitations, noisy neighbours should shut the f**k up, etc, etc…..)

so, if you’re in camp one and think your right to attend the wedding while spreading an infectious and potentially serious disease overrides the rights of vulnerable guests to attend without risking catching your disease, go ahead - many (maybe most) people agree with you.

However, as someone whose husband’s response to catching your disease is not only to play Covid lotto (will the disease you’ve given me make me really ill or not?) but also means he definitely needs to come off his vital immune suppressing medication until the infection has definitely cleared his system, you’ll understand I’m firmly in camp 2.

a wedding isn’t like a group of friends - it’s often full of relatives of all ages, some of whom might be significantly more vulnerable and effected by a bout of covid than you, directly or indirectly.

I had a new strain on holiday very recently, as the man sitting beside me on the outward plane was coughing like crazy.
I was very, very ill and wouldn’t attend a wedding for fear of passing it on.

Fair play for doing the responsible thing and taking a test. Few people die of Covid now but it can still be a debilitating illness with serious long term consequences.
Personally I'd respect NHS guidance, 5 days isolation or 10 days if you're around vulnerable people.

NHS Covid Guidance

I wouldn’t go and spread it especially if it’s a bunch of people you don’t know.
you could go just to the outdoors reception and ear a mask and social distance. But I’d be absolutely livid if you were talking to me indoors and told me you were Covid positive it’s so anti social.

Well you seem to care a lot.

Ps - the people saying it’s fine - what about if someone knows they have hpv but still has unprotected sex? A woman admitting to this was given an absolute thrashing on here - no difference

Life would grind to a halt if everyone isolated themselves whenever they had a transmissible illness. It's just not feasible and is a difficult but inescapable reality of being human.

Even if it was possible it would create a problem in of itself as if no one passed on / caught any conditions for extended periods their own immunity would be weakened meaning they would become even more ill......

NHS staff are expected to work with covid in my county if they feel well enough to do so which says it all.