To send little one to nursery in a dress without shorts?

[dahliadream]

First time posting on mn so please be kind, not sure whether this board is the right home for this or not?!

I have a three year old girl, it's hot so I have been sending her to nursery in casual loose t-shirt dresses, about knee length. My friend told me yesterday that when she puts her daughter in dresses for nursery she puts shorts underneath. I havent been doing that. She doesn't wear shorts with dresses at home and also wouldn't it make her even warmer on a hot day? She is quite active at nursery and she spends a lot of time outside.

AIBU just to put her in a dress? Or should she be wearing shorts too? Three seems so little to worry about modesty doesn't it.

Perfectly normal word.
I've always said pants for what boys wear and knickers for what girls wear. It might have become an old fashioned word but I'm too old to have noticed!

Similar to a previous poster, DD5 has always worn short type knickers and a lot of summer dresses. A few of the girls at school wear shorts under their uniform summer dress and I will probably do this next year. I hadn't been too concerned because of her knicker shorts but she mentioned that a few of them lift her/their dresses because of the actual shorts. Also handy if she cycles home as I can tie her dress up.

There are those who think that shorts are needed lest anyone catch a glance of knickers. And there are those who think that the function of knickers is to prevent anyone catching a glimpse of what actually matters. The shortie knickers someone linked to would be excellent for that, ensuring that the knickers don’t slip to the side in an unfortunate way, without needing two layers.

Yes, this! And getting them changed for PE was another matter. We had to have little chats to the parents, whose English wasn't great.

I truly hope that no safeguarding issues arise in school because a girl does not wear shorts under her dress.

Wait until she is older, about 8+ and she will probably experiment with dresses 'spinning out' .

Little girls seem to love this, they spin around and the skirt flares out. Often seen at weddings.

This is ridiculous. Dresses are lovely and light, the easiest to put on / the off and give the most freedom.
The "dresses don't allow girls to play" lobby is utterly.nonsensical.

OP knickers are absolutely fine, I wouldn't have considered shorts until primary school.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with a three year old being active in a dress. They're cool and surprisingly practical. She doesn't need shorts. She's THREE.

I really don’t understand this argument of ‘my child is too young to be aware that adults don’t flash their knickers so I must protect her from the shame she will inevitably later feel when she realises I let her wear a dress without shorts by covering her up at 3 years old.’ Children are generally very un self conscious and that is wonderful. Girls have a lifetime of having to worry about what people think of what they are wearing, whether it is modest enough etc (on a spectrum obviously). Why put that burden on a preschooler? I doubt many adults are ashamed that they wore a dress without shorts at nursery and someone saw their knickers or even their genitalia. I have fond memories of proudly dressing myself for nursery and then realising I had forgotten my pants when I sat on the cold wall outside so we had to go home. A lot of childhood things have come up in therapy for me but that isn’t one of them!

That's ridiculous.

I agree. It happens from time to time. My own daughter used to take her knickers and socks off at home when very small and once I didn’t realise she was knickerless until we were out and I picked her up. I definitely put some on when I dressed her.

Why would shorts and t shirt be any harder to put on or off than a dress with shorts underneath

At infant school I used to hand upside down on monkey bars showing my knickers to all. Now in my 50s and can say I've never given a damn about it.

No, of course not. What I meant is that in her position she has sadly had to deal with some awful cases and therefore feels her own DD is safer wearing shorts.

It’s fine, I did as you do when mine were that age. She loved wearing dresses and it’s too hot for more unnecessary layers.

I only ever put shorts on my girls when they started school and because they asked. They were always doing cartwheels etc so didn’t want ppl to see their pants.

In a school, we try hard to teach kids the PANTS rule, and about private areas because its really important for keeping them.safe.
I think that yes, obviously knickers should be enough on their own, and we dont want kids to feel overly self conscious. Id far rather they went in with little shorts under, than to constantly have to worry that their bits and pieces aren't hanging out the edges when they are upside down on the swinging bars

No one had phones and social media in their pockets then though? Older children in primary school have phones now. People film everything. Not saying it’s all untoward but would I want my daughter in someone else’s video with her knickers out? Definitely not. And that’s before we even get onto anything actually intentionally inappropriate. Loads of stuff was done in the 50’s and now it’s not lol it not a great argument.

The 50s. Wow years before I was born. And do older children at primary have their phones out filming the reception class? Never heard of that TBH. My school didn't have kids older than 7 anyway so even in 2025 they wouldn't be filming on phones

Parents of older children who walk home from school by themselves will sometimes let their children take their phones to school. Depending on the rules of a particular school, they might be kept in the teacher's desk for the day or they might be taken to the office until the end of the day. Children won't be filming themselves and their friends during the day, let alone filming younger children.

I always put shorts under my DD’s dress (4) it’s for her protection and prevents anyone else from feeling uncomfortable.

It’s sad that it is necessary, but unfortunately some men are sick.

Sorry, completely misread that. Thought you said in the 50’s not you’re in your 50’s 😂

As I said - I’m not saying it’s untoward. But children with phones make videos & I wouldn’t want my daughter with her knickers out in them whether it was intentional or not. I don’t see how that’s unreasonable but respect not everyone has to share the same opinion. Also you don’t have to have heard of something for it to be true..

Just a quick google says this about the average age uk children get phones which is very comfortably average primary school age (noted not applicable to your school, but it is to the vast majority) - ‘In the UK, the average age for children to get their first mobile phone is around 9-11 years old. However, some children receive phones earlier, even as young as 7.’

These, they do plain-coloured ones too. Couldnt care less about seeing underwear. But the gusset on so many little girls' knickers is tiny. I don't want a full view of a toddler's vulva, but I often have one.

Agree, it’s not something I gave any thought to. I dressed my daughters much the same as I had been dressed myself as a small child. In Summer loose cotton dress and a pair of pants, sandals, a hat if out in the sun a lot.

So the children in nursery reception and year 1 are being filmed by classmates?? Id be more concerned if a school was letting a primary aged pupil film during the school day. If that was happening then I'd be wary of using that school.

But if parents are that worried about at daughter possibly showing her knickers why put them in dresses at all? There are other clothes.

Obviously. That's my point