To send little one to nursery in a dress without shorts?

[dahliadream]

First time posting on mn so please be kind, not sure whether this board is the right home for this or not?!

I have a three year old girl, it's hot so I have been sending her to nursery in casual loose t-shirt dresses, about knee length. My friend told me yesterday that when she puts her daughter in dresses for nursery she puts shorts underneath. I havent been doing that. She doesn't wear shorts with dresses at home and also wouldn't it make her even warmer on a hot day? She is quite active at nursery and she spends a lot of time outside.

AIBU just to put her in a dress? Or should she be wearing shorts too? Three seems so little to worry about modesty doesn't it.

Same. Girls used to hang upside down on the bars in the playground. No-one thought anything of it.

If you are doing it because you don't think knickers cover enough just buy better quality knickers.

So women have to change what they do because it makes men feel uncomfortable. A slippery slope.

Having worked with young children, boys' shorts also gape at times!

I was made to feel deeply uncomfortable when I took my 18 month old daughter swimming in only swimming bottoms. I was told that, once the staff had realised she was a girl (hard to tell at that age), they decided she needed to wear a bikini top. Crazy.

Anyone else remember doing PE at secondary school in grey PE knickers? We all hated them, of course. But they were definitely pants (albeit granny style).

Surely the fuck not?!

I still do this sometimes! (Paddling in the sea, for example.)

Knickers. Do people say that (unironically) in real life?

Does it bother the child? Probably not.
Does it bother someone else? Says much more about them than the child.

If too much is on show, perhaps get better fitting knickers.

I always put cycling shorts on my daughter. I felt more comfortable while her sense of privacy wasn’t developed

Why would you do that? Just a dress & pants is fine?

I will never be putting my daughters in shorts under their dress unless they specifically request that.
I make sure to buy good quality non see thru underwear.
I won't be making my girls self conscious about their bodies. They'll get enough of that from the world as adults.
It's not my daughters responsibility what people think of it.
I want them to have confidence and never be taking on responsibility for the male gaze.
And as far as I'm concerned as long as knickers aren't see thru and have full coverage what on earth is different about knickers and shorts? 1cm of fabric? It seems nuts to me. A load of faff about nothing that has the potential to make little girls hyper aware of their bodies and think about how men are looking at them.

I wouldn't, though mine don't really wear dresses so would likely just wear shorts anyway but it really isn't necessary to wear shorts under dresses.

The problem is, if most wear these shorts, and some don't, the ones who don't will be the odd ones out, so it becomes more likely that this will be pointed out. It all becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

And the skirts and dresses were ridiculously short in those days too!

I never wear shorts or trousers. I play footie in the park and climb trees just fine. Women climbed Everest in skirts.

My 4 year old so just about to leave nursery will ask for shorts and a dress so I’ve just been putting her in shorts and a dress as she’s asked. I bought matching dresses and shorts in three colours from H&M last year as her nursery stuff so I think that might be why, but I do think in hot weather going down slides and playing on outdoor plastic stuff might feel a bit hot in just pants. But I think if she’s not bothered you don’t need to worry.

My daughter does love those next shorts pants as previously linked because they don’t give her a wedgie though and I love that they do come in the smaller sizes! Well worth it I my opinion!

Agree - little kids just aren’t aware enough to realise they are showing off their underwear when playing sometimes (eg hanging upside down on monkey bars). Most adults wound be mortified if everyone saw their pants so why would it be ok to let a child do that?

Disagree with the whole ‘not my job to worry about the male gaze’ argument, it absolutely should be. There are so many perverts out there, no way I’m letting them get their kicks from watching my child.

I know! When I first started teaching (nearly 20 years ago) I taught in a school with mainly kids of Pakistani heritage. It was common for them not to wear underpants. One day on PE a child had a rather unfortunately located home in his tracksuit bottoms and as he sat down his penis popped up though the hole. Goodness I was horrified but also didn't want to draw attention to it. I very quickly got everyone up and made sure there was no more sitting that lesson!

The world’s gone mad. I’ve got 3 dds, now young adults and no one put shorts under dresses when they went to school.

I feel sorry for these little girls having to wear a thick layer of jersey in the hot weather. Defeats the point of a nice cool cotton summer dress.

Why are we so funny about underwear anyway? It’s the same thing as a bikini. The point of it is to cover the private parts.

My sister is a head teacher in a primary school. She spends a great deal of time working on safeguarding issues. Her own daughter had worn shorts under skirts and dresses since she was toilet trained.

I think if they are sturdy shorts type pants, that's fine.

Nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm a primary school teacher and used to teach Reception. If there was a child with no pants on (which would happen occasionally), then I knew that they'd dressed themselves in the morning. To me, that was a sign of good parenting because it showed an independent child.

Poor parenting was the ones who had no idea how to put a pair of socks on because it had always been done for them.