To send little one to nursery in a dress without shorts?

[dahliadream]

First time posting on mn so please be kind, not sure whether this board is the right home for this or not?!

I have a three year old girl, it's hot so I have been sending her to nursery in casual loose t-shirt dresses, about knee length. My friend told me yesterday that when she puts her daughter in dresses for nursery she puts shorts underneath. I havent been doing that. She doesn't wear shorts with dresses at home and also wouldn't it make her even warmer on a hot day? She is quite active at nursery and she spends a lot of time outside.

AIBU just to put her in a dress? Or should she be wearing shorts too? Three seems so little to worry about modesty doesn't it.

I have never bothered before but my daughter is almost 4 now and likes to climb, flip, roll about etc so I just put a pair of cycling shorts on underneath

Some men do unfortunately sexualise children, so even though I don’t, I do my best to protect my child. People aren’t wrong because they don’t want people to see their child’s underwear

The shorts style knickers are great for thus. But as long as the knickers provide full coverage then I wouldn’t worry too much!

that said for that age I think shorts and a t shirt is generally much more practical for nursery especially if outside a lot

What weirdo men do you think are at the nursery?

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I put them on dd2 but didn't for dd1. Dd2 is an active child compared to dd1. She also lifts up her dresses a lot. I don't think they make her any hotter than wearing tights and frankly she would tell me if she didn't want to wear them. I'd rather she just wore shorts in general whilst we have warm weather but she likes to twirl in a dress.

I dont think it's an issue whatever you decide.

As others have said OP you’ll find it’s often down to how active these kids are, mine are at primary now but the girls all wear shorts under their summer dresses as they’re up and down climbing frames, on the slides, etc etc it’s just an extra layer for them! To be honest my niece mostly wears trousers and polos at school now as she’s such a wee adventurer and prefers it but when it’s boiling and the summer dresses are out they have shorts on too. You can get girls short briefs too, which do the trick. No one wants their knickers riding up their bum crack coming down a hot slide 🤣

Also I don’t think there is anything wrong with teaching the pants rule to children from a young age so they understand that nobody else should be looking at their underwear.

I have always put my child in shorts or tights when wearing dresses from age 2. We talk about pants being private the nspcc campaign- therefore we don't show anyone our pants
All of my friends do the same- and our school and nursery have had it in their uniform policy ...

Last time i sent my 2 year old in a dress when i picked her up the nursery had gone in her bag and put shorts on under it.

I didn't do that out of modesty, but I did quickly realise that with my DDs preschool (a lot of outdoor time, forest school, open door situation, climbing, rolling down hills, puddle suits on and off) that dresses, even little casual ones, were not as practical as knee length shorts from the boys section, as 'girls' ones were a lot shorter, and a t-shirt that covered her shoulders.

This is how I feel about it. I think it’s best to teach ‘modesty’ rather than put an extra layer on them in the hot weather. I just try to teach my daughter that we don’t pull our dresses up so everyone can see our pants. If she keeps doing it then no biggie, it’s a learning curve, keep explaining and remember she probably won’t be doing it when she’s an adult!

Some of our parents do, most don’t. I’d not really thought about it but it’s however parents feel their child is most comfortable. Long dresses aren’t practical for climbing though and neither are flip flop type shoes!

Our daughter wears shorts under her dresses and has done for years - she’s now 6 but chooses to wear them we don’t force it but all her friends do too so it’s just seen as the style. It’s not from a modesty perspective but from a hygiene. She’s very active and one layer with just pants isn’t enough considering she’s going down slides other kids have ran all over with their shoes / can get dirt into underwear / climbs trees etc

This. I wouldn’t be climbing anything in a dress so don’t put our DD in one for that sort of play. Probably helps that she’s not particularly bothered about wearing them though 🤷‍♀️

Well what's the problem then? I imagine she doesn't wear sexy lingerie that needs to be covered up so no need for shorts. Your friend is weird.

It's not about sexualisation 🙄 but little girls knickers rarely provide adequate coverage for an active child. The amount of times my daughter is rolling around on the floor and her knickers end up sideways and you can see everything.

I was an early years teacher for 30 years and never came across this. I have been retired for 10 years so maybe the trend has arisen since then. I'm sad that this is a thing and agree with the poster who deplored the new Victorianism.

We put DD(5) in shorts under dresses when she went to nursery. However, she has been obsessed about trying to do cartwheels since she was 3 (influenced by older cousins) so was showing her knickers constantly.

In reception last year, they all wore cycling shorts under their Summer dresses!

I have a son in nursery so it's not a worry I've had to deal with but personally, since it's nursery, where only nursery workers and other children are going to be, I'd say I'd feel comfortable sending her in with no shorts under the dress. Different case if I was taking her to a public place like the park!

It’s definitely about practicality not modesty for me. For example going down slides.

No I never bothered at that age, and my DD always wore dresses. It was much later in primary when she chose to wear shorts underneath summer dress.

Do u think there are many such men in your child's nursery? My girls never wore dresses for nursery but that's simply as easier to climb etc in trousers/ shorts etc but I'd not think of putting shorts under dresses

I hated dresses as a little girl, mostly because I couldn’t play and climb without flashing my knickers. I wish shorts under dresses were a thing when I was young! It turned me into a tomboy who only wore jeans and t shirts until I was 20.

DD went to a school nursery - I’d have loved to have sent her in leggings/ shorts but I have been blessed with a very strong willed girl who has had incredibly clear ideas about what she wants to wear since before the age of 2.

She likes the pinafore dresses in the winter and the gingham summer dresses in the summer so that’s what she’s worn so far in both nursery and Reception. I’ve bought the trouser/ short options but I do let her choose - if I thought it was hindering her I’d probably insist but from how filthy she comes home, the pictures I see on the app and the stuff she tells me, she’s still being very active and getting up to all her usual fun.

I do put shorts underneath sometimes - not for modesty but because I wondered if all the climbing/ sliding down the pole etc would be more comfortable that way. More recently she’s said she doesn’t want them and it’s more comfortable without so I’m not going to insist.