To send little one to nursery in a dress without shorts?

[dahliadream]

First time posting on mn so please be kind, not sure whether this board is the right home for this or not?!

I have a three year old girl, it's hot so I have been sending her to nursery in casual loose t-shirt dresses, about knee length. My friend told me yesterday that when she puts her daughter in dresses for nursery she puts shorts underneath. I havent been doing that. She doesn't wear shorts with dresses at home and also wouldn't it make her even warmer on a hot day? She is quite active at nursery and she spends a lot of time outside.

AIBU just to put her in a dress? Or should she be wearing shorts too? Three seems so little to worry about modesty doesn't it.

I wouldn’t ever send a child to nursery in a dress. Nothing to do with modesty, it’s all to do with moving and playing comfortably. Shorts and t-shirt will be far better in this weather. No chafing or burned bottom in shorts!

Shorts under a dress are non-negotiable in our house. BUT only because a couple of months ago I had an early start at work and DH took our daughter to nursery. He sent me a message saying how good she was and got herself dressed all by herself. When I collected her I was told that they’d done gymnastics, my daughter did a roly-poly and flashed her bare bottom. Had no knickers on 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was told to ensure she always arrived at nursery wearing underwear. So the rule is always knickers and shorts, just in case one of the two is missed in the morning rush/if I’m not present to check ffs

Another one who works in early years and its not about seeing the pants, its about seeing whats underneath them. At carpet time the kids all sit cross legged and the pants often gape or slip to the side. A not insignificant number of them will have their hands inside their pants (boys and girls but with the boys it tends not to expose them). Try telling a 5 year old subtley to fix their pants, or cover up, without 20 other kids looking round to see what's going on.

Unless wearing tights, I’ve put shorts under my girl’s dresses (including school summer dresses) since she’s been potty trained. She's very active- jumping, climbing, cartwheeling, dancing etc but also on wants to wear dresses (otherwise I’d just do shorts and tshirts as mentioned). I remember not liking my dresses and skirts coming up when playing so just figured she’d be more comfortable. Most of her friends are the same. But I don’t think it’s any biggie if someone doesn’t do the same. Only little children afterall!

I would put mine in shorts cos little kids flash their knickers all the time. They'll literally lie on the floor playing sleeping bunnies with their dress up, bum in the air with their pants half way up their but crack and I just think they aren't properly dressed of that's happening.

Definitely shorts - not for the modesty thing (that is pretty irrelevant at that age) but as you say for the playing, slides, bark, all the other stuff kids get up to at nursery. Wearing shorts is better than a friction burn or bark up your bum.

I personally think girls are more comfy in tshirt and shorts or leggings at this age. My daughter is 3 and goes to nursery too, she find dresses uncomfortable to control when she needs the toilet. She knows how to lift and twists and push into the top of the dress but gets flustered on a good day at home.
But on the rare occasions I have put her in a dress then I put her in cycle shorts underneath.
Shes like a Tom boy and plays with the boys and does a lot of climbing etc.
She prefers top and bottoms for school and princess dresses for home or going out.

How…how did he forget to put her pants on? Or at least check that she had them on. I bet he didn’t forget to put his own pants on. Because that would be crazy. I bet you would have checked.

I’d have been properly raging at that, to be honest.

I was raging. Appalled that she was exposed mostly of course, and also embarrassed to have had to be told. I was utterly floored when they told me. Thankfully she’s too young to understand or be embarrassed by it. Poor parenting.

My daughter is the most active, accident-prone child I know – she chipped her first-ever tooth and had four black eyes before she was one; nursery called her Calamity Jane – but she’s never been injured, chafed, burned, splintered, whatevered from wearing knickers under a dress instead of shorts. I’d be furious if a school or childcare setting used the term “modesty shorts”. Eurgh.

My daughter is the most active, accident-prone child I know – she chipped her first-ever tooth and had four black eyes before she was one; nursery called her Calamity Jane – but she’s never been injured, chafed, burned, splintered, whatevered from wearing knickers under a dress instead of shorts. I’d be furious if a school or childcare setting used the term “modesty shorts”. Eurgh.

I was thinking similarly. My eldest is ridiculously accident prone and never stops moving but she’s never had a single injury due to not wearing shorts under dresses.

That’s crap that you were made to feel that way and you weren’t even there. The joys of parenting indeed. I’m sure you’re not a poor parent at all (and to be fair I’m sure your husband isn’t either - but these things just don’t occur to them sometimes and it’s not good enough. they really need to engage their brains - I’d be willing to bet my house that this wouldn’t have happened on your watch).

Almost no girl wore trousers or shorts more than occasionally when I were a lass and I guarantee that we were all considerably more active than any equivalent little girl nowadays. I don’t remember being injured on the inner thigh or injuring my backside on 1970s play equipment (made from extra hot metal with as many sharp bits and concrete areas to fall on as possible). I did injure almost everything else but I don’t think modesty shorts would have helped. Honestly, if girls wants to wear shorts under their skirts then let them but I think it’s bonkers that nurseries and schools require this. It’s all in the name of safety and safeguarding but really it’s just a modesty rule the same as any other.

The comment was in general to point out people who want their children to wear shorts aren’t sexualising their daughters. My daughters nursery go on trips every week, to the park, beach school 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have a 5yo & a 3yo and I’ve never put shorts on under my girls dresses. It would be roasting so I think it defeats the purpose of wearing the dress, otherwise I would just put them in shorts and tshirt.

Mine is now also 6. She has always had shorts on with dresses. She too does cartwheels and when little would flail her little legs in all directions at once. It's not her I am worried about. I can't imagine not doing that at this age and younger to be honest.

Furious! Really? You either live an incredibly charmed life, or have a very low threshold to rage if these two simple words provoke your fury.

I buy my dd the same kind of thing I wear under my own dresses. They are super thin bicycle shorts that are made of wicking material. I find wearing them cooler than wearing regular undergarments so I strongly prefer them.

The fact that you can go upside-down on a playground and no one complains is just a bonus.

I never used to put shorts on my daughter with a dress when she was nursery age but once she went to school she asked to wear shorts under her dress and to be honest I do feel better knowing she's wearing them. As a previous poster said, normal knickers cover nothing when they are sitting down cross legged - they move to the side or gape. The shorts briefs suggested above are a great solution.

I wouldnt say youre being unreasonable as theyre your children and your choice but, I'd personally never send my girl to nursery or out in public without her shorts underneath but, there was probably a time i did until I heard someone else mentioned that they wouldnt allow it. We all live and learn. It makes perfect sense to me to put shorts underneath.

No it doesn't.

It makes perfect sense to make sure private parts are covered and pants do a perfectly good job.

Always done shorts under dresses and skirts, and same now in primary school. My DD plays, cartwheels, swings upside down etc, so it's important she is covered. Not only for her own privacy but also other kids can be so mean about seeing eachothers knickers 🤦

I always put shorts on my 2 yo.

I don't think any of us would like to go climbing, sliding, kicking footballs, etc etc without shorts on.

Well no, but I wouldn’t do those things in a dress either.