To lock up all our food etc when we leave

[ChangerMonNom]

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

So turning up to your holiday cottage to find the previous occupants had left you precisely zero loo roll, despite the fact you’d left plenty for them, wouldn’t irritate you?

Leave the house as you found it. (No more - no less. This is fair. Always stocking the place and never finding it ready is not fair.)

Yes to having a suitcase of things you need to be there hidden away (or taken home) for next time you arrive.

Fairness matters but so does the convenience of finding in the house the things you need when you arrive there next time

If you husband likes buying lunch - that is fine.
Shopping for your SIL is not ok unless you enjoy that yourself.

This drives me mad!

Hoping for an update after lunch tomorrow !

I would do as the other post leave 1 of everything but no oil or anything that helps they need to have to go out to get supplies they will then know what its like

This is good idea. I'm about to sell my house and plan to leave loo roll and dishwasher tablets to tide them over. If relatives took the pee I would be unhappy. Husband should say something.

@ChangerMonNom Hello OP, has sil discovered the empty loo roll holder yet??

To arrive and have no loo roll or other essentials is plain mean.
I’d totally be petty, lock up all they need on arrival and leave things they can get by without such as mustard or floor cleaner for them to get a taste of their own medicine. I suggest putting the suitcase behind the ones you already have under the stairs to make it less obvious in case they start looking.

I'd make it 100% obvious or they will not learn and may do similar in other circumstances.

Do it OP, SIL tight and inconsiderate. Two awful trates, especially from family.

I am with you, OP but I would do it gradually, leaving less and less after each visit - almost gaslighting them into thinking you are leaving things behind for them as usual. That way you get a fair outcome and have a bit of without the fall out.
People like this never learn even if it is spelled out to them - they are so entitled.

Irritating though SiL sounds, I would be more annoyed at my H loving to play Mr Billy Big Balls with our money and loving getting all the attention for paying for everything.

Even if he doesnt realise it - he is getting his pay off that way

I’m afraid I would absolutely go down the root of pettiness! They are taking the Mickey and like others have said they don’t use much so they can go and purchase their own stuff can’t they! I would definitely be locking it all up in a suitcase and either taking it home or hiding it somewhere. Like others have said, have fun with it!

Good luck with lunch today

Here for the update! Shameless. Good luck OP

Take it back home with you. Either store it until your next visit or use it and take fresh with you. Simples!!

Leave some sour milk

It’s like waiting for Father Christmas… I hope SIl hasn’t seen the thread and bought half of Waitrose with her…

Yeah I agree, just take yr supplies home.

take everything not bolted down, they will get the message.

ChangerMonNom
so… what happened? Do tell.

Sorry to keep you all hanging. We didn't have lunch. I convinced DH to get on road after a quick cup of tea (our teabags) with them.

SIL definitely did a once over of the kitchen when she arrived.

I didn't put anything in the suitcase as it felt like a faff, but spent the last few days consuming as much as possible.

I've left 3 teabags as suggested. I left about one cup of milk in fridge andthere is only one toilet roll on the hanger.

I hid the salt somewhere not obvious and will say someone must have done so in error if discovered.

I said to SIL 'you'll probably need to go to the shops as we didn't get a chance to get some items' and she said 'oh...' and looked concerned. Her goodbye had a certain frostiness.

Nothing from them yet but will report back if so!

Oh and there was this classic from her.

I said 'cleaner has been friday so everything should be clean' and she said - 'oh good. last time they didn't really clean the window sills but hopefully they did this time'

I said 'well I'm only prepared to pay for two hours so they do what they can in that time and it's better than anyone else does'. No reply to that.

Haha! She knows you're on to her.

I've just stayed in a Eurocamp and you get a little cardboard box with a mini washing up liquid, a mini spray cleaner, a cloth, a scourer, one small loo roll, two swing bin liners and a bathroom bin liner. That's it!

Well done you!

And thanks for updating. Do this a couple of times and she may just take the hint 😉