Page 28 | Am I exaggerating?

Charltonstrek · 13/08/2025 20:24

grumpygrape · 12/08/2025 20:51

Good grief OP, if you had any credibility remaining, up to this point, I think you’ve completely lost it now.

What would you be telling tales about ? All you would be doing would be telling the Police who took and left your vulnerable child to and in a house where the Police had to visit due to a disturbance and, for whatever reason, needed to check and find your vulnerable child inside a wardrobe.

Your vulnerable child was in your cousin’s boyfriend’s care and he scarpered, abandoning all responsibility for your vulnerable child.

Your response to this has been to say cousin’s boyfriend won’t take ‘care’ of your child again.

Do you really not see your responsibilities here ? They are to your vulnerable child, not your cousin’s boyfriend who abandoned him and has also told lies about sending someone to find him and suggested a gift will make everything right.

Honestly, your stance beggars belief. Who are the ‘we’ who ‘don’t do these things to each other’. If anyone abandoned a child of mine in these circumstances I would be telling the Police who they were.

Or do you fear repercussions ?

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Not worth repercussions for her sons sake as well I just wouldn't allow my son anywhere near him again.

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 13/08/2025 20:50

Starlight7080 · 13/08/2025 18:35

What does stand out is the fact he is your cousins boyfriend not husband.
As you mention religion. And not telling the police names as your family dont do that sort of thing.
Is he the father to your cousins children?

Yes he is their father.

OP posts:

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 13/08/2025 20:52

I am really annoyed, the girls have been FaceTiming my son telling them that I was rude to their mum and that I said I can never see them again and that they’ll miss him.

They have no right to do this, they should not be involving themselves in adults business, now my son is upset and crying.

OP posts:

5128gap · 13/08/2025 21:08

You appear to be part of a community that has low trust in the police and services and high trust in other members of your community. If that's how you've always lived, you're not going to suddenly flip that and transfer your trust to the officials, and I don't suppose anyone will change your mind on that. So, dealing with where you are, your way, you are at least going to keep your son away from your cousins partner, which is good. Then your other problem is the rift with your cousin and the upset to the children. Given you agree with her not wanting the police involved, I'm not sure what else you think she's done that's so bad you have to cut her off. Surely it's possible to retain a connection with her?

TSW12 · 13/08/2025 21:18

iamstillfuming · 13/08/2025 20:52

I am really annoyed, the girls have been FaceTiming my son telling them that I was rude to their mum and that I said I can never see them again and that they’ll miss him.

They have no right to do this, they should not be involving themselves in adults business, now my son is upset and crying.

And this is part of the reason you needed everything up front from the start. Of course, your son and his cousins are upset. You haven't considered any fallout from this, and there is bound to be some.
If it is possible, could you arrange for your son to see his cousins on neutral ground, meet up at a park, or have a barbecue if you have the space. Your son obviously isn't the bad guy here, but he is the one who will suffer the most.

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 13/08/2025 21:59

TSW12 · 13/08/2025 21:18

And this is part of the reason you needed everything up front from the start. Of course, your son and his cousins are upset. You haven't considered any fallout from this, and there is bound to be some.
If it is possible, could you arrange for your son to see his cousins on neutral ground, meet up at a park, or have a barbecue if you have the space. Your son obviously isn't the bad guy here, but he is the one who will suffer the most.

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I don’t want any further contact with my cousin or her partner, I don’t want to see them again.

The girls are more than welcome to come over here whenever they want.

OP posts:

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 13/08/2025 22:05

5128gap · 13/08/2025 21:08

You appear to be part of a community that has low trust in the police and services and high trust in other members of your community. If that's how you've always lived, you're not going to suddenly flip that and transfer your trust to the officials, and I don't suppose anyone will change your mind on that. So, dealing with where you are, your way, you are at least going to keep your son away from your cousins partner, which is good. Then your other problem is the rift with your cousin and the upset to the children. Given you agree with her not wanting the police involved, I'm not sure what else you think she's done that's so bad you have to cut her off. Surely it's possible to retain a connection with her?

I am a law abiding citizen I have never ever been arrested or had any issues with the police.

As for my cousin, me and her have always been like sisters. I am always there to support her, all I wanted is a little support and empathy from her but she wasn’t the least bit worried about my child.

If the boot was on the other foot, my husband would no longer be sleeping under the same roof as us. There is no justifiable excuse why he left my son behind, they both know that I’d never do that to their daughters but it’s okay to do it to my child.

OP posts:

OpenThatWindow · 13/08/2025 22:05

iamstillfuming · 12/08/2025 20:26

I don’t know

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You don't know much, including how to be a responsible parent. You didn't even know where your son was. It is neglect.

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 13/08/2025 22:09

carmak · 13/08/2025 19:38

There's a mutual lack of understanding here, from OP and posters too, me included. It's all a bit sad and confusing really.

Anyway, I hope you and your son are ok OP, take care.

Thank you for looking out for my son, he is fine well he was until his cousins FaceTimed him.

OP posts:

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 14/08/2025 00:25

iamstillfuming · 13/08/2025 22:09

Thank you for looking out for my son, he is fine well he was until his cousins FaceTimed him.

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Why not just say it all at once, instead of in installments? It reads like a story book, drip a piece of information to get people to go "oh no, what happened next?"

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 14/08/2025 00:27

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 14/08/2025 00:25

Why not just say it all at once, instead of in installments? It reads like a story book, drip a piece of information to get people to go "oh no, what happened next?"

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Nothing more has happened, I wanted to tell him to block them but he enjoys speaking to them.

OP posts:

clickyteeclick · 14/08/2025 06:12

iamstillfuming · 14/08/2025 00:27

Nothing more has happened, I wanted to tell him to block them but he enjoys speaking to them.

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So he does have a phone. So you could have tracked him to find out where he was. He could have called you to tell you he was scared and to come get you. I’m calling BS.

AuntyDepressant · 14/08/2025 06:28

iamstillfuming · 13/08/2025 20:52

I am really annoyed, the girls have been FaceTiming my son telling them that I was rude to their mum and that I said I can never see them again and that they’ll miss him.

They have no right to do this, they should not be involving themselves in adults business, now my son is upset and crying.

Perhaps their dad can leave them at some random house by themselves to meet your son? Mind you it might be a bit of a struggle finding a house with 4 wardrobes for them all to hide in. 🤔

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 14/08/2025 07:52

clickyteeclick · 14/08/2025 06:12

So he does have a phone. So you could have tracked him to find out where he was. He could have called you to tell you he was scared and to come get you. I’m calling BS.

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He is 10 years of age, he doesn’t have a phone. Have you ever heard of an iPad? Don’t your children have them?

OP posts:

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 14/08/2025 07:53

Automatically assuming a 10 year old has a mobile phone 🤯

OP posts:

clickyteeclick · 14/08/2025 08:10

iamstillfuming · 14/08/2025 07:53

Automatically assuming a 10 year old has a mobile phone 🤯

Yeah. Assuming FaceTiming on a phone is the most mind blowing 🤯 thing about this post. Come on now. Off you pop, get back to the summer holidays you’ve only a couple of weeks left till you’re back to school little one. Spend the day on Roblox or whatever it is you kids do.

Yummybread · 14/08/2025 08:27

iamstillfuming · 12/08/2025 08:54

I have already asked my child what happened 🤯

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You said
I am not going to question my son further, he is 10 years of age it's best he forgets about it, the main thing is that he is home and safe with me and it's going to be a long time before I let someone look after him again.

My post was in response to that. You need to question your son further and compassionately ask him more. This may not be the first time something like this has happened and uncle may have just gotten away with it until now.

Is it unusual for uncle to just buy expensive items like bikes as a one off? Is he bringing in an expensive salary and wealthy? Kindly, there are red flags everywhere with this.

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 14/08/2025 08:41

clickyteeclick · 14/08/2025 08:10

Yeah. Assuming FaceTiming on a phone is the most mind blowing 🤯 thing about this post. Come on now. Off you pop, get back to the summer holidays you’ve only a couple of weeks left till you’re back to school little one. Spend the day on Roblox or whatever it is you kids do.

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You can leave now.

OP posts:

Original poster

iamstillfuming · 14/08/2025 08:43

Yummybread · 14/08/2025 08:27

You said
I am not going to question my son further, he is 10 years of age it's best he forgets about it, the main thing is that he is home and safe with me and it's going to be a long time before I let someone look after him again.

My post was in response to that. You need to question your son further and compassionately ask him more. This may not be the first time something like this has happened and uncle may have just gotten away with it until now.

Is it unusual for uncle to just buy expensive items like bikes as a one off? Is he bringing in an expensive salary and wealthy? Kindly, there are red flags everywhere with this.

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I am not questioning my child any further, yes this was a “one off” if anything similar had happened in the past he would have told me (he is MY child I know him, you don’t”

And it’s not unusual for us to gift the children in our family “expensive” gifts.

OP posts:

Christmaschildcare · 14/08/2025 08:59

Genuinely disturbed that this thread is still up.

WillyWonkasPurpleHat · 14/08/2025 09:06

I am genuinely surprised OP is still here when 99% of the answers are annoying her 😂

I will ask for the 3rd time and see if she deigns to answer -

What are you getting from this thread as most of the posters are annoying you @iamstillfuming ?

AuntyDepressant · 14/08/2025 09:14

iamstillfuming · 14/08/2025 08:43

I am not questioning my child any further, yes this was a “one off” if anything similar had happened in the past he would have told me (he is MY child I know him, you don’t”

And it’s not unusual for us to gift the children in our family “expensive” gifts.

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But is it usual to do it to buy their silence?

grumpygrape · 14/08/2025 09:15

iamstillfuming · 11/08/2025 17:24

Can you please tell me whether I am exaggerating and taken things too far in this situation, because I have been told by certain people that I must let it go.

My 10 year old son went out with my cousins boyfriend yesterday, he usually comes for him and takes him out for the day.

I got a phone call from the police to tell me that they had my son, and they were going to bring him home to me. I called my cousins boyfriend straight away, my instant thought was maybe something had happened to him, because why did I just receive a phone call from the police telling me that they had my child.

He didn't pick up, when the police arrived with my son they couldn't give me much detail on what had happened except they were called to a disturbance in a house and my son was found by them hiding in a wardrobe, he only spoken to them to give them my number.

My son isn't used to loud noise (he is very sensitive to noise) neither is he ever been exposed to any violence etc.

I asked my son what had happened, he told me that my cousins boyfriend had taken him to a house, people started shouting, arguing and fighting he got scared and hid in wardrobe, he thought that my cousins boyfriend would come and get him but he didn't and the police lady come and got him out.

I called my cousin once the police had left, she said that she'd try and get him on the phone then she'd call me back. I was told by her that something had gone on forgot about my child but he sent someone back to go and look for him.

All my cousin was concerned about is whether or not my son had said anything to the police i.e given them his name, then I got a phone call from him saying he is sorry about what happened and that he will come and take my son to go get a bike tomorrow, I hung up and called my cousin

I was very disrespectful to the both of then (with my words) I have had an argument with my cousin and then I called him and did the same to him.

My son is my only child, we have tried for years to conceive again but it just won't happen so we have accepted it. I can not even tell my husband about that has happened because I don't know what he will do to my cousins boyfriend.

I have had a few phone calls from family members and close friends, saying that I have taken things too far and that my cousin and I are too close for this to ruin our relationship.

I am also worried that social services might get involved, I have worked close with social services and they could put this down to neglect.

My son seems ok now, but I feel like I failed him yesterday, like I said above he is not used to things like this.

Sorry for my bad grammar or any mistakes, I didn't proof read before pressing send.

OP’s original question was

Can you please tell me whether I am exaggerating and taken things too far in this situation, because I have been told by certain people that I must let it go.

To answer that. We don’t know if you are exaggerating (you might mean overreacting but only you know), but if your story is true then most of us think you haven’t taken it far enough. You haven’t found out where your son was, why he was there, why the adult with him chose to leg it rather than protect your son and you have obstructed the Police.

Speculation about what happened from posters here is just speculation but you and the Police are the only people in a position to discover what frightened your son so much he hid but you aren’t taking the opportunity to do so.

Most posters here wonder why.

Alltheyellowbirds · 14/08/2025 09:31

OP. Have you found out yet:

What was this house your boy was taken to and why?
Who were the people at the house?
What was the fight/disturbance about that led to the police coming round?
Why did cousin’s boyfriend flee the scene when they arrived, leaving your child behind?
Why did the police search the house?

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 14/08/2025 09:37

clickyteeclick · 14/08/2025 06:12

So he does have a phone. So you could have tracked him to find out where he was. He could have called you to tell you he was scared and to come get you. I’m calling BS.

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It's the leaving hanging for information for me.
"Well, he was OK... until his cousin's facetimed him "