Am I exaggerating?

[iamstillfuming]

Can you please tell me whether I am exaggerating and taken things too far in this situation, because I have been told by certain people that I must let it go.

My 10 year old son went out with my cousins boyfriend yesterday, he usually comes for him and takes him out for the day.

I got a phone call from the police to tell me that they had my son, and they were going to bring him home to me. I called my cousins boyfriend straight away, my instant thought was maybe something had happened to him, because why did I just receive a phone call from the police telling me that they had my child.

He didn't pick up, when the police arrived with my son they couldn't give me much detail on what had happened except they were called to a disturbance in a house and my son was found by them hiding in a wardrobe, he only spoken to them to give them my number.

My son isn't used to loud noise (he is very sensitive to noise) neither is he ever been exposed to any violence etc.

I asked my son what had happened, he told me that my cousins boyfriend had taken him to a house, people started shouting, arguing and fighting he got scared and hid in wardrobe, he thought that my cousins boyfriend would come and get him but he didn't and the police lady come and got him out.

I called my cousin once the police had left, she said that she'd try and get him on the phone then she'd call me back. I was told by her that something had gone on forgot about my child but he sent someone back to go and look for him.

All my cousin was concerned about is whether or not my son had said anything to the police i.e given them his name, then I got a phone call from him saying he is sorry about what happened and that he will come and take my son to go get a bike tomorrow, I hung up and called my cousin

I was very disrespectful to the both of then (with my words) I have had an argument with my cousin and then I called him and did the same to him.

My son is my only child, we have tried for years to conceive again but it just won't happen so we have accepted it. I can not even tell my husband about that has happened because I don't know what he will do to my cousins boyfriend.

I have had a few phone calls from family members and close friends, saying that I have taken things too far and that my cousin and I are too close for this to ruin our relationship.

I am also worried that social services might get involved, I have worked close with social services and they could put this down to neglect.

My son seems ok now, but I feel like I failed him yesterday, like I said above he is not used to things like this.

Sorry for my bad grammar or any mistakes, I didn't proof read before pressing send.

You’re the one that sounds ridiculous. You let a unrelated man take your kid out all the time alone, with no consideration of why the hell would he want to? Other people’s unrelated 10 year old kids are normally not of any interest to people. Even if it is completely innocent you’ve taken a huge risk with your child’s safety.

You say there’s no way it was related to anything illegal, then why the hell did he run and leave your son behind? Why were he and his GF worried you’d given his name to the police?

I actually think that this is just a bit of rage bait as no one is that thick that they’d ignore the massive red flags of what happened yesterday and just never mention it to their son again.

Wow! What a shock. You don't expect a day out for your son to end up like this!
You're not overreacting, your child's safety is paramount. The fact that the police were involved is serious.
Some family decluttering is in order.

I can’t actually believe you’re not trying to find out any more information? How can you just brush it under the carpet and move on.

Absolutely crazy! Why aren’t you asking the boyfriend why he took your son to some random persons house, started screaming and fighting whilst there and ‘forgot’ about your son?

Anyone else in the right frame of mind would want answers for at least that and I would be going down every avenue until I found out.

People on here are giving you excellent advice and your so defensive over it all it’s really weird.

Sorry to break it to you, but any kid can be groomed, rich or poor. Your dc may not be actively involved yet, but could be groomed for when he’s an a bit older. He’ll he going to senior school in a years time, and will gain a lot of freedom and independence. You won’t know what he’s up to then

I have never been involved in a situation whereby the police have been called out to a house to break up an argument, or witnessed such an event, and I’m sure I’m but alone in that.

On the off chance you are still reading nothing sounds far fetched in the context that you are letting an unrelated male look after your son. A male that has 3 kids of his own that he could be looking after but instead he goes about his business with your son?

I was also pretty concerned that in an earlier post you said you give “everyone an equal chance until they prove otherwise”. No chance I am letting anyone who seems odd/ has a lifestyle I don’t approve of/ is an unrelated male keen to spend excessive amounts of time with my children anywhere near them.

Why does your so innocent “boyfriend of cousin” run and hide from the police?

ive reported too. Not quite ringing true

Just please, cooperate with SS when they get involved.

I reported it yesterday and it was looked at behind the scenes but allowed to stay up.

FWIW grooming is not always sexual or drug related. A person love bombing/buying or promising gifts is grooming. It could be to keep your son quiet or other as yet unknown reasons.

And anyone can be groomed. If your son has a phone id check that the BF is not messaging him because that is inappropriate. Promising a bike is inappropriate. Once you have called down, just try and ask where they went and why. I think any one would be terrified by that environment.

Yes you’ve finally got it OP. All of what you have said here (I presume sarcastic) is correct. Now get back in touch with the police to report it all.

Interesting. Has the OPs later combative posts come after that report? I wonder if so if that will change anything. I’m inclined to think this is pure baiting.

This sounds like a cultural thing. I am half Albanian and my family on that side all behave like this
I was wondering about this. It just seems a strange arrangement and some of the language is off.
I know it's the school holidays and if you're working you need childcare but why leave your son to hang around with his non-uncle all day without knowing what he's up to? Does he not work? It's one thing if they're visiting a museum or a park or building something together but it just sounds like your son is just being dragged along as this man does his dubious 'socialising'. Why would you not want to know what they get up to and where they go together?

Yes, because we’re all at fault and you’re perfectly reasonable. Good luck with the inevitable social services referral. Sounds like you’ll need it.

I explained to you upthread what county lines is - interestingly without using the Google definition you’ve quoted here. It’s a distinct possibility given what’s happened and that you clearly have no clue where this man has been taking your son up to this point.

You are not exaggerating, this is absolutely awful. It sounds like he's involved in something criminal. It's unforgivable to take him into an environment where dodgy stuff was going on and there was the potential for trouble and violence. He must never be allowed to be alone with your son again. And I imagine the police will refer this to social services, yes.

I'll be honest, I cannot imagine why on earth your cousin's boyfriend should be regularly collecting your son and taking him around with him for the day when he has three children of his own to care for. That they are girls is not the point. I also can't understand why, as your son has his own dad at home and in his life, you are encouraging him to go out regularly for long periods of time with this man anyway. It's very strange.

Exactly. He’s trying to keep the boy quiet so he doesn’t tell anyone what was really happening in that house.

The cousin's partner took your son somewhere where it was all kicking off and left the premises leaving your son behind not caring about his safety at all

This. I wouldn't be able to get over that.
Anything could have happened. No way would he be anywhere near my kids again. As for buying a bike, what, to make up for it?! No thank you.

This thread, well the OP's posts on it, is/are bizarre. Either the OP knows far more than she has divulged here or is burying her head in the sand. Why would you choose not to tell the police the cousin's boyfriend's name, but decide you're never seeing the cousin and her boyfriend ever again? The indignation when grooming, possible abuse or drugs involvement have been suggested is unreal. As a responsible parent you should want to know. Yes, you know your child best, but to flatly deny it and get on your high horse about is so odd. It doesn't reflect on your child, but the dodgy bloke who took him somewhere where there was an altercation so bad the police were involved but his mother doesn't know anything about what went on other than he hid? None of it adds up.

How is it not your business how he makes his money when he is spending his days with your son? It’s very much your business - your son is being taken along!

https://nwhsa.wordpress.com/2025/04/13/six-people-to-appear-at-court-for-hare-coursing-offences/

Bunch of blokes took kids with them hare coursing thinking if they got caught they wouldn't be arrested with the additional hassle of sorting out the kids.

The OP shows so little interest in what actually happened, and - not giving the Uncle's name when the actual bloody Police turn up with her 10 year old kid -defies belief. Absolutely nuts.

Also agree you have to tell your husband what happened. It's going to be so much worse if he finds out from someone else. I'd want to know about it if I was him.

Hopefully her husband / the child's father whom the child is spending today with finds out the truth by actually talking to him.
I am very surprised upon being told this by his wife / the child's mother that he wasn't straight round to the cousin's home to find out exactly what happened to his son, and why !
also surprised that husband / father has not been on the phone to the local police station making enquires...

This thread, well the OP's posts on it, is/are bizarre. Either the OP knows far more than she has divulged here or is burying her head in the sand. Why would you choose not to tell the police the cousin's boyfriend's name
Obviously just speculating now as I'm not the OP, but maybe anxiety and fear of repercussions/fallouts?

Either that or it's a reward for the child refusing to give the police his name.