Am I exaggerating?

[iamstillfuming]

Can you please tell me whether I am exaggerating and taken things too far in this situation, because I have been told by certain people that I must let it go.

My 10 year old son went out with my cousins boyfriend yesterday, he usually comes for him and takes him out for the day.

I got a phone call from the police to tell me that they had my son, and they were going to bring him home to me. I called my cousins boyfriend straight away, my instant thought was maybe something had happened to him, because why did I just receive a phone call from the police telling me that they had my child.

He didn't pick up, when the police arrived with my son they couldn't give me much detail on what had happened except they were called to a disturbance in a house and my son was found by them hiding in a wardrobe, he only spoken to them to give them my number.

My son isn't used to loud noise (he is very sensitive to noise) neither is he ever been exposed to any violence etc.

I asked my son what had happened, he told me that my cousins boyfriend had taken him to a house, people started shouting, arguing and fighting he got scared and hid in wardrobe, he thought that my cousins boyfriend would come and get him but he didn't and the police lady come and got him out.

I called my cousin once the police had left, she said that she'd try and get him on the phone then she'd call me back. I was told by her that something had gone on forgot about my child but he sent someone back to go and look for him.

All my cousin was concerned about is whether or not my son had said anything to the police i.e given them his name, then I got a phone call from him saying he is sorry about what happened and that he will come and take my son to go get a bike tomorrow, I hung up and called my cousin

I was very disrespectful to the both of then (with my words) I have had an argument with my cousin and then I called him and did the same to him.

My son is my only child, we have tried for years to conceive again but it just won't happen so we have accepted it. I can not even tell my husband about that has happened because I don't know what he will do to my cousins boyfriend.

I have had a few phone calls from family members and close friends, saying that I have taken things too far and that my cousin and I are too close for this to ruin our relationship.

I am also worried that social services might get involved, I have worked close with social services and they could put this down to neglect.

My son seems ok now, but I feel like I failed him yesterday, like I said above he is not used to things like this.

Sorry for my bad grammar or any mistakes, I didn't proof read before pressing send.

Ok so it wasn’t SA, because he wouldn’t do that.

It wasn’t drugs, because he wouldn’t do that.

Got it!

Hide and seek world championships!

And the bike isn’t actually hush money, it’s the prize!

If OP won’t take it seriously, why should we.

I’m sorry OP but you are being awfully naive if you think a grown man of distant family wants to entertain a random 10yr old on a regular basis, hell, lots of men avoid spending that sort of time with their own kids! - I’d bet a tenner he’s using him for something like county lines, using children to deliver drugs/guns/stolen stuff. How else do you explain him taking him to the dodgy house in the first place!

I wonder how many parents have cause to reflect on how well they thought they knew their kids when they’re visiting them in a young offenders facility. Or worse. There is clearly something very dodgy going on here and l’d be giving the police every bit of information they needed in order to protect my son and get to the bottom of what must be a very disturbing experience for the child. OP is adamant that neither SA or drugs are involved, but isn’t the least bit concerned that BF is now offering to buy her son a bike. It beggars belief.

If you can't see why posters here have raised that as a possibility, then you're being incredibly naive, or in denial about something that you don't want to admit actually is a possibility.

And in the same breadth say she will cooperate fully with SS....?

I wonder what their first Q will be?

I have a feeling this OP is intensely vulnerable and ultimately, naive. And her child is being put into fairly unimaginable situations.

Maaaate. Why didn't you ask him anything else?!
This guy takes your child out and you have no idea where. That's voncerning enough. Then he takes your son to a random house where a fight bad enough for the police to be called breaks out. And yet you won't hear a word against him or acknowledge that he MIGHT have taken your child somewhere dodgy before. Why?!

Possibly ‘Why did you not suspect something odd about someone who has three children of his own wanting to take your son out alone ?’

What else would it be?

She’s also not questioning why BF now wants to buy her son a bike. A massive, waving red flag, if not actual bunting !!

Isn't it obvious? The bloke went to a 'dodgy' house to do something like a drug deal. It all went a bit wrong- they started kicking off and the poor little lad got terrified and hid

Your husband has a right to know about this. You aren’t going to be able to keep this to yourself anyway. He’s going to wonder why things have changed between son and cousins’ bf and ask questions. Be open with him.

Your cousin's partner is involved in something illegal (probably buying/selling drugs, but it might not be that), brought your son along, it kicked off and your son hid. He's now trying to keep him sweet with a bike - that's for his own benefit, not your son's, as he doesn't want your son telling on him.

Do not let your son anywhere near these people again.

If that’s what you’d like to believe, please keep thinking it.

You don’t know how silly you all sound

County lines
SA
Grooming

😂😂😂

Could be guns or weapons or a brothel. Whatever it was, it was clearly illegal.

But yeah most likely drugs.

It’s almost as if people here don’t know the meaning of county lines but yet are throwing the term around.

County lines - When an older person uses younger people from disadvantage backgrounds to sell/deliver drugs for them, they are usually sent somewhere away from their own city/town

Yep my cousins boyfriend is really making my son sell or deliver packages for him 😂😂😂😂😂

You don’t realise how sad and pathetic it all sounds, he went to a house a fight broke up, but some how it’s all drug related, and yep he is SAing my son as well.

If you didn’t ask all those questions then, no, you have not asked your child about what happened.

What a lot of us don’t understand is why? Why would you and your husband not want to know exactly what had happened? What sort of parent isn’t interested in those specifics? It’s very very odd and indicates that there is something shady going on.

I wish there was a way to report posts like this and get the kids checked on. It’s all just too weird.

Oh now we are speaking about guns weapons and brothels hahahaha

You asked for opinions because you know this is a dangerous situation but then you complain about any comments that criticize your son or say you are being naive.
You only know what he chooses to tell you as is the case with most children of this age.
You only know about this situation because the police brought him home and he hasn't volunteered you much information which is odd.
By ignoring the situation and not discussing it with your son you are almost sanctioning the situation. You need to combine forces with your partner, get tough and find out what is happening before this escalates.
Sorry to break it to you but all children are capable of being devious or lying by ommission to get what they want or protect their interests.
As other posters have suggested I would sit down with your husband and son and find out the details of what actually happened and whether this "friend" has taken him to similar places before.
Worst case scenario is that he has been groomed by a gang of undesirables, in which case, who else might have their eye on him and how entangled is he in their organisation?
Children, by nature of the fact that they are immature, don't always see the dangers in what they are doing and will often not disclose to parents unless very specific questions are asked.

She’s definitely taking the piss.

Like this shit is a fairy tale that we made up to scare kids.

Why on earth wouldn't you want to know more?! If I'd left my kid with a relative and they got brought home to me by the police, having witnessed a fight, I'd want every single detail of how exactly what happened. It's bizarre that you're not asking more questions. Why don't you want to know what really happened?

I know! Almost as silly as running away from a violent altercation in a house - sorry - a bungalow - when the police arrive and leaving a 10 year old child hiding in a cupboard then sending in somebody else who is not a part of their family to get them and then making sure your partner rings up and demands they don't give your name to the filth instead of checking your child is OK! SO silly!

I already mentioned why I think he wants to buy my son something - to make up for what happened and a bike is the first thing that come to his mind.

NOT because he is SAing him or grooming him!

Mate, it's not my 10-year-old son who's been to what sounds like a crack house. I wouldn't be laughing right now if I was you.

If you are so sure nothing untoward was going on, why are you worried about giving the police the man's name?