To think a 17yo going to London (and staying overnight) is a bit odd?

[CVVFan]

Our eldest is doing that this week. Going completely on his own. We think he’s meeting someone but we haven’t asked. He claims it’s just for the “giggles” and explore beyond our sleepy town.

I’d be worried he’s meeting someone much older, and whether he knows they’re older or not.

I'd be co concerned about where he's staying. Hotels usually ask for ID and accept bookings for U18s.

DD went to London many times before 18 - I would request the address and contact of where he’s staying, a friend’s contact too and location activated though.

Chances are it will be fine (DD is 21 now and an avid solo traveller) but if you think he might be meeting up for a date then it’s worth being extra careful.

DD went to London many times before 18 - I would request the address and contact of where he’s staying, a friend’s contact too and location activated though.

Chances are it will be fine (DD is 21 now and an avid solo traveller) but if you think he might be meeting up for a date then it’s worth being extra careful.

That's a bit of a leap! I'm not sure many 17 year olds would arrange a trip to London to visit a prostitute...

OP, I'd be worried he was meeting an older man/someone online who might not be who he says he is.

You can get an Airbnb for a reasonable price…

UK hotels mostly don’t ask for ID. Premier Inn etc are often self-check so you can book, stay and leave without speaking to a single staff member and without anyone asking your age. No need to lie

I don’t think it’s odd but equally he could be meeting someone.

I assume that you live a long way from London for this to be odd.

I would assume Grindr hookup too.

Gosh, that's a bit of a leap to prostitute, could be anything, meeting friend, girlfriend, someone he's met online.

I would want to find out a little bit more detail about what he was planning to do...

If hotels don’t check it’s still lying about age and breaking the booking Ts&Cs.

bars and clubs are likely to be more strict on ID

In the 80s I went for university visits and stayed overnight in London three times before my A levels. I also stayed with a friend in London when I was 15. I had the most strict Asian parents as well. But overall things seemed more relaxed than. No mobile phones either!

It’s fine.
Loads of youth hostels in London and they take from age 16 upwards, unaccompanied by an adult. The one right in the centre in Westminster is only £50 a night.

Stop mollycoddling, what’s odd about it, he’s just trying to assert himself as a an adult. London was a lot more violent place when I was his age, I left home at seventeen, I was a fully prepared adult in a practical sense.

Id been changing my sisters nappies feeding and burping her when I was nine years old. I pusiend the families dirty washing in a pram to the laundrette at the same age. Bought a fixer upper house at 22 years old and taught myself how to rewire it ( commissioned by a qualified electrician) and also taught myself self plumbing, fitting a boiler and built a staircase from scratch. There was no internet back then it was all from a book, I don’t come from a DIY background either I was a dressmaker and had attended the London Collage of Fashion. I could run you up a nice frock and do all your clothing repairs as well

i travelled solo all around Europe on a motorcycle including Russia, wild camps a lot of the way. If I remember rightly the youngest soldier killed in the Falklands was seventeen!

Women constantly moan about men/ husbands/lovers being immature, the paradox is that it’s mothers that raise them that way, there is nothing worse than a spoilt emasculated man.

I hosted my cousins 15 year old boy last week, he has no male role model all female households, and auntie and grandmother. Showed him how to use power tools ( he has an interest in crafts) and then took him fishing a couple of times. My cousin was apologising for him in advance, there was nothing wrong with him, he just needed experience, guidance and support and praise

Creat young adults not 40 year old man children.

Doesn't everyone have fake ID? All my dc did (we live in London, but I'm sure its the same in every city). I think it's pretty standard to be going to pubs and clubs at 17 with your fake ID.

6 hours away

ummm....for me that would be a flat no. And I say this as a woman who grew up in London getting up to all sorts of stuff a bit too young, and have now raised my own teenage kids here.

I don't consider myself overprotective - my eldest is recently back from travelling around Europe with a group of mates post A-levels for a month. He's very young for the year (was 17 when travelling) - but bluntly, there's safety in numbers. No way would I be letting him randomly go off to explore a city alone overnight, particularly if I had no idea who he was meeting or where he was going.

London is big and can be overwhelming. Without meaning to sound hysterical, a 'safe' neighbourhood can turn into an unsafe one within a street or two, and bad stuff can happen anywhere. There have been awful stories about young gay men hooking up with predatory people they've met online, ocassionally with the worst possible outcomes.

Be a parent, OP. He is still technically a child and you are the adult.

I'd say it's a date. Nothing wrong with that. He probably just doesn't want the embarrassment of telling you if you're already teasing him about his 'future wedding'?

Would you say that to your straight 17 yo kid?

Yes I would say that to a DC of either sex/any sexual orientation @DiscoBob

If my DC want to date people who live many miles away whilst living with me they can wait until they’re 18 and can legitimately book accommodation and get into bars and clubs.

It’s not ‘mollycoddling’ to be concerned about what seem likely scenarios here: DC travelling long distance alone to meet a man they have only met online or heading out alone from accommodation for 18+ to bars and nightclubs in a major city that they’re not used to.

For the record it is illegal for an escort to sleep with somebody under 18.

Yes I suspect some sort of hookup. I hope he is streetwise comes to no harm and can hold his own.

As a PP said I think the most likely crime to potentially befall him is having his mobile nicked whilst he is using it. He can step into a shop doorway or tube foyer but just don't walk along visibly waving his phone around.

Technically, they can leave home at 16. So, no, a 17 year old cannot be prevented from visiting somewhere. Do you really not understand this?

I doubt he’s going innocently clubbing. It’s far far more likely in this day and age he’s meeting someone he “ knows” from online. And that could be anyone. I would be having a very open conversation about the dangers of meeting people you think you know from the internet. He’s a young man but he’s at a very vulnerable age. I knew someone the same age who just disappeared in a city many years sgo( also gay) and it haunts me.
I wouldn’t be happy if a 40 year old female friend did this either, I’d make sure she told someone where she was staying etc, so it’s nothing to do with mollycoddling ffs.

Why though? It's embarrassing for teens to listen to stuff like that from their parents. Who says he wants to get married? It might make them less honest with you about relationships.

I don't think you're in the wrong to be a bit concerned about him going there alone overnight. If anything it would be more reassuring if he was meeting a friend.

@MemorableTrenchcoat - yup, I understand that. But if they’re 17 and still living at home with me, I’d be trying damn hard to prevent them taking this sort of risk.