To feel inconvenienced by a tragic accident?

[OnemargarIta]

I'm currently in Italy (staying in Rome) for three nights. It's my first foreign break in a warm country and I've been so excited and saved up especially.

We booked an excursion for today consisting of a trip to Sorrento where we'd spend time exploring, visiting shops and enjoying local food - and then on to Pompeii on the route back.

We've spent the whole morning/day so far stuck in traffic on the motor way. We are so behind schedule we can now no longer go to Sorrento first because Pompeii closes at 5.30 and there won't be time. A sit down restaurant meal will now be replaced by a takeaway which will be eaten on the coach.

We've just been told the cause of the traffic jam and it's because somebody has died in a collision on the motorway.

Instead of feeling saddened about the loss of life I just feel inconvenienced and pissed off that the highlight of my trip has been ruined.

Does this make me a shitty person? It just occurred that it might 😳

No, I honestly think you are reading the OP’s posts from such a negative place you are seeing things that aren’t there!

That post doesn’t mean ‘how will I know whether people are inconvenienced after my death’.
It’s more about not knowing the when so you can’t avoid the inconvenience. As in, an accident on a tight bend is a nightmare to manage. You can’t arrange for it not to happen on a tight bend, because accidents defy arrangements. If you knew when it was going to happen, you’d avoid it.

I can’t speak for anything other people posted that’s been deleted. OPs posts stand and make sense.

That doesn’t make any sense.

There were so many posts removed, which now can’t be crossed referenced, that’s the point.
It’s already been explained, posts that were talking about suicide, from other posters, which op supported have been deleted by MN and op, has denied these posts happened.If you went through the whole thread, you would have got the gist, admittedly not an overall picture, due to these posts being deleted, however you would have seen the way the thread was going.

I really do think, enough has been said about it now.
You’re just coming in, expecting it all to be explained to you.It’s too late now, you’ve missed a huge part of the thread, how many times can it be said, many of the posts have been deleted, which is now not going to give anyone coming into the thread at this point, a clear picture of what has been said.

Has the op had her posts deleted? If not, I'm as confused as the poster you're quoting because you can read all of the op's posts and there is nothing in there that looks to be agreeing with or encouraging something that has been deleted. Or even touching on the subject of deleted posts - but you say the op has denied deleted posts.

I don't care for the op's mocking tone in calling you Doris, but that seems like the worst of it?

No l haven’t read the thread wrongly, unfortunately l’ve been reading it from the very beginning.Have you?
How many times, does this need to be explained, this isn’t just about the excursion, it’s regarding people posting about suicide and op yes, she supported this and when they were deleted denied they ever happened.Also the way op has spoken to other posters and clearly, as you just said, you haven’t even seen the posts that were deleted, so no you telling me that l’m reading op’s posts in a negative place and l’m seeing things that are not there, is just beyond patronising, you haven’t even read the whole thread, end of.

She clearly stated ' Nobody here has laughed about suicide at all, it's awful that you are making such allegations'.
Easy to say when the posts in question have been deleted and can't be quoted.
We can't prove it to you because the posts we're referring to have gone.
I've been here from the very beginning of the thread too and I saw the posts mocking suicidal people, calling one who apparently tried to jump off a bridge repeatedly a 'prat' and saying that someone who had thrown themselves in front of a train should have just taken some pills in the bath instead.
Pretty nasty stuff.
As I said, I'm surprised the thread stayed up at that point considering Mumsnet has a mental health section where many users post daily.

I’ve explained, l’m not going to keep going over this
OP has denied these posts existed, she has continually mocked posters.Accused me of making allegations, when MN took the posts down.
I do think the thread was in very poor taste, when there was posts about suicide not just me, it upset many other posters, that’s why there’s so many deleted posts, but of course posters conveying this are apparently virtual signalling and just mocked, but apparently your opinion that’s ok, l disagree, if that’s ok with you.
If you’re looking for an argument, just to drag this thread out, look somewhere else, really don’t care what you think, because l’m not going to take the bait and give this thread anymore legs.The thread is done, op (who’s username has never been heard of before, apparently this is their first time posting, has gone).

I didn't say they intended to cause me inconvenience 🙄

I said I felt inconvenienced by it.

I wasn't looking for an argument, but I just don't think it is ok to hold posters accountable for other people's posts (which do sound awful and obviously were offensive enough to be removed).

It's like how you've just said I think it's ok to mock people. I don't. I noted that I didn't like the Doris comment, so my thoughts on that are clear. It's ok to disagree, but it seems to be a tactic on here to accuse people you disagree with of holding unsavoury views and claim moral superiority on that basis.

Get back Shadrack.

The thread isn't being deleted. There is nothing wrong with it.

The issues arose from hyperbolic and quite frankly ridiculous replies from other posters.

Those posts were deleted because they're not in the spirit of the site and go against guidelines.

Not from me or anybody defending me. They were some of your lot.

Oh, you won't see my username on any other threads barring this one. I've been around long enough to know what topics to name change for. I don't want weirdos following me onto S&B or anywhere else I frequent.

Oh here we go again, they’re back, name calling again
@OnemargarIta No one said the thread was going to be deleted, just that it really should be.
It was people posting their 'funny stories’ of suicide and other posters joining in, get it right.They were deleted because they were laughing about suicide, which you supported.If that makes you feel better to play it down and say these posts were not in the spirit of MN, as you say you’ve been around long enough to know MN will only intervene, if posts are seriously breaking guidelines, not over trivial matters, which is what you’re implying.
You really are something else, all the talk of suicide that were deleted they were apparently according to you from some of my lot! None of my comments have been deleted.You sound unhinged.
It’s an anonymous forum, how and why would anyone be following you😂I don’t change my username, because l’ve nothing to hide, if people recognise my username, so what.l stand by all my comments, try it sometime.

Yeah I'm not reading all of that waffle, you have too much time on your hands maybe try going outside.

I was here from the beginning, I posted near the beginning. I read OP’s posts to see how her day went- whether she made it to pompeii- and was startled by the very acrimonious posts she was defending herself from.

When people are attacked- and she was attacked- they get nasty back. Now you are not doing yourself any good trying to make other people feel the way you feel, and OP is the kind of person who will dig her heels in ever deeper the more you tell her she should be ashamed of herself. So why waste your energy.

I certainly won’t be.

@OnemargarIta😂 my waffle, says the person, who starts ridiculous threads, god knows how many you’ve done this, who knows what username you’ll dream up next time.
Asking, are you a shitty person hmm yes you’ve been told many times on here you are.

You can feel both, I would be sad for a tragic accident and also disappointed that I missed the trip.

You said previously you haven’t read the deleted posts, again how do you know exactly what was said
I’m going by what was said throughout, including the deleted posts.
Yes, agree with you on, it’s just a waste of time. People like yourself have quoted me, so l’ve answered.Thanks for the heads up, l won’t be wasting any further energy on this.

It was a strange thing to post about.

Yes OP it spoilt your day but most people would feel more sorry the people involved in the tragic accident than your trip.

I posted at about twenty minutes in and have been popping back since. I saw one post calling the OP a cunt and then a few other posts attacking her or anyone who doesn’t think she’s a shitty person. The idea that a lot of offensive posts laughing about suicide were deleted wasn’t my impression at the time and doesn’t seem to be supported by the existing conversation around deleted comments. Most deletions seem to be attacks on other posters.

This is what is so weird about the thread. Why did it not occur to OP that you can feel sympathy for the fact someone died and there's a family suffering and feel frustrated that it happened at a time you had plans. It’s perfectly normal to feel both (I commuted on tube trains in London long enough to feel both on a frequent basis). They are not mutually exclusive emotions.

I drive a lot in many different countries. I always feel sad when an accident results in loss of life. Why? It could just as easily have been me or someone I love. I rarely get stuck in traffic as I adapt and change my route as soon as I can. I would never go on a coach trip.

That's what I thought was odd.

There was just no need to start a thread about not giving a shit about the death. She asked the question and because some of us thought she was weird we were called out for virtue signally. Others pointed out that it's unwise to book one of those bus trips anyway which I agree.

Basically if you weren't agreeing with OP then it wasn't acceptable to her and some others.

Posted twice

As l’ve already said l’m not going to waste anymore energy on this.I disagree, with your comments, however l see it’s pointless arguing with you.Many comments have been deleted and you’re only going by existing comments.Please stop, quoting me.

Maybe try being a nicer person? You're clearly enjoying this.
We, who were here from the beginning, know exactly what went on, so you can backpedal all you like, and continue to mock and take the high ground over others, it doesn't wash.