DP said no to baby 3 but thinks he can have a puppy !!!

[Idontwantapuppy]

I wanted dc 3, dp said absolutely not. I was quite upset but obviously if he doesn’t want another child then that’s that.

However he has decided he wants a puppy. I said no I really don’t want a dog. He has said ‘but you wanted a baby - a puppy is much less of a commitment- you’re only saying no because I said no to you!’ Which isn’t the case at all.

I said no because I’m asthmatic and just don’t want a pet. I’m a bit of a clean freak and don’t want doggy mess / hair / slobber in the house. I said to him it’s nothing to do with the fact he said no to another baby it’s a totally separate issue and I’m not applying bitterness as he says I am and just saying no to spite him. He’s saying if he wants a dog he has every right to. AIBU ? He says I clearly am as if I’d commit to another child then a puppy is a lot less of a commitment so I’m being deliberately difficult apparently

I think a dog(I have had quite a few) is very tying. If you want to go out for more than a couple of hours then you have to either take it with you or arrange it to be looked after. Holidays a real problem, both work away from house problem. Wet weather etc.
I love my dog but it has attachments issues and howls if I even have a shower and it's left downstairs. I have had 4 kids and find the dog less expensive 😅 but more tying.

10 months since we brought our 8 week old puppy home. Id say just as much work as a toddler! If not more at times. Also you cant take them on holiday, to most accommodations etc. You cant suddenly up and leave for the day as a family as you need to sort the dog out. Bathing a toddler is fun (usually) and they dont 'shake off' like a dog getting the water EVERYWHERE. If you dont have young children then you have a LOT of time for a puppy. Doing puppy AND young children AND the kids school commitments/clubs and activities is challenging when adding in the needs of a puppy. The nose smears/licking the glass is something I didnt preempt. Puppy's are a huge commitment and tie. I would have found another baby/toddler more manageable

10 months since we brought our 8 week old puppy home. Id say just as much work as a toddler! If not more at times. Also you cant take them on holiday, to most accommodations etc. You cant suddenly up and leave for the day as a family as you need to sort the dog out. Bathing a toddler is fun (usually) and they dont 'shake off' like a dog getting the water EVERYWHERE. If you dont have young children then you have a LOT of time for a puppy. Doing puppy AND young children AND the kids school commitments/clubs and activities is challenging when adding in the needs of a puppy. The nose smears/licking the glass is something I didnt preempt. Puppy's are a huge commitment and tie. I would have found another baby/toddler more manageable.

You're a clean freak so you don't want a puppy but you wanted a baby?

If he doesn’t want a baby don’t force him and if you don’t want a puppy he should not force you
I would bargain with a kitten less work or adapt an old cat

This.

A dog is a 15 year commitment. He
needs to look ahead at what will be happening in your lives then. Tbf, It might be good timing now if the dog will be end of life as your children are grown up as you’ll get your freedom to travel and do things around then.

Puppies are hard work for about two years and then they are much calmer and good companions if they’ve been trained well. However they are a tie and certain holidays etc may be off the cards if you’d need to pay for kennels on top. They do generate mess but some breeds are worse than others. My
lurcher was very clean and hardly shed whereas my spaniel sheds a lot more.

He sounds like a twat. Baby, he doesn't want one and you acquiesce, great to him, he got what he wanted. Dog, you don't want one but that's not ok because he wants one. He's not applying the basic principle of agreement in the second situation because it doesn't suit him. Stand firm OP.

Also not hypoallergenic

If he wants a dog then tell him he can move out and get 20 dogs if he wants as he won’t be living with yoh!!

I think a dog is more commitment than a child. They don’t grow up and they restrict where you can go and how long for, what work you can do potentially, and apparently the puppy stage is incredibly hard work with lots of mess to clean up. They are also noisy and slobbery and smelly and unless you love dogs I don’t think the downsides would outweigh the good.

OP, treat him just as he treated you.
A firm no as soon as he has finished speaking and then refuse to be drawn on the subject ever again.

The point here is not how difficult or otherwise it is to have a puppy but how OP’s DH feels he has the right of veto over something she wants but the right to insist when it’s something he wants.

Hahahaha 😂
Currently in the midst of raising a puppy and it’s harder than having a baby…. And I’ve got a pretty easy puppy!

I wouldn’t say getting something that neither of them have any desire to get is a compromise. Also my cat probably causes me more stress than my dog.

The puppy is harder than the na y as you can’t take it with you in many scenarios- and they don’t wear a nappy!

And they have sharp teeth 😳