Kid is always at our house-bit rude?

[Timeitwasohwhatatimeitwas]

Dd has a friend on the road, he’s at our house a lot to play, which I don’t mind at all, he’s a lovely boy and they play nicely together.
Yesterday he was here from 2.30-7.30 and stayed for dinner-all fine
Whenever my Dd asks if he can play, it’s always at our house, she’s been there a few times, but they always have to play outside. She’s even asked if she can play at his for a change (did her this was cheeky) and he said he wasn’t allowed but could come to ours

My friends and I generally take it in turns to have playdates, does anyone else find this a bit rude?

I've had this for years with a neighbour's child.

for years you or your child have kept on inviting this child over
🤷‍♀️

Come again

your adult neighbour hit your daughter @dottymac ? Presumably you meant the child.

derogatory term plus hit her… I mean you’re not going to have the child over again?

Haven't you ever had a moral dilemma or is your life and the choices you make so clear cut all the time, how wonderful for you

oh don’t be so dramatic 😆

you have had a child over to your house for years despite it not being reciprocated ever

I can see why you're resenting it but there's not a lot you can do beyond keeping solid boundaries and sending him home.

In particularly your DD doesn't particularly benefit from you feeding him so unless you are really worried about him, I would get in the habit of dispatching him home whenever you are ready to feed your family. The longer he spends with you, the easier hopefully it will get to hold him to your family's standards of behaviour, ie tell him off or send him home when he is a pain. Yes I'd prefer the parents to be more welcoming to your DD but sometimes there are unavoidable reasons, and whether there are or not, it's just not in your scope to control.

They've been visiting for years, but issues are very recent. Why so nitpicky? I must be lying 😶 or more likely I've had a few ciders on holiday tonight and not being as eloquent in my responses as you demand. Whatever - live your life and find someone else to bug now as I'm bored with your abrasive attitude 🥱 something about Mumsnet seems to bring out certain specimens that have nothing better to do than split hairs and try to provoke an argument sadly.

An angry drunk

Absolutely they are CF. Send him back for food. That way at least your daughter still gets to play.

Do you think it is because she is a girl though? If they are a cis-het couple with a son, and dad WFH, maybe they would rather not have an unaccompanied female minor of such a young age in their house. Maybe he is like Murray from "meet the Goldbergs" and he drops trou as soon as he gets in the door, and doesn't want awkwardness or accusations?

Eh? They’re both at home at weekends? No dad working from home

When my dd was small, our house was the default place for playing as none of the other families allowed their children's friends into their houses. Weird but I liked having the house full of kids

When my dd was small, our house was the default place for playing as none of the other families allowed their children's friends into their houses. Weird but I liked having the house full of kids

Oh sorry, i just presumed that he came on other days too. I am just trying to think why they would be so resistant to her playing there. Maybe they are just dicks then.

You want to have kids to play at your house
They don't want kids playing at their house

Both of you can live your lives as you want!

No one is making you invite the kid in or feed him etc. Just do what you're comfortable with.

Exactly

the other child’s mother hasn’t got the op in a headlock
in fact she’s not even inviting her child over

It is the OP’s daughter who is asking if her neighbour friend can come over and it is the OP who is saying…. Yes

How do you know this? I mean how do you actually know what this couple do at home behind closed doors during the weekend

in any event…. This is their home and their life and if you invite their child over and said child says yes…. Then that is entirely 100% your decision. And it is their decision not to reciprocate. But they’re not asking for their child to come to you.

🙄

I’d much rather have my kids at mine so I know they’re safe and I can keep an eye on them

I much prefer having kids here. I wouldn’t like my children spending too much time in another house. The other family might just hate having kids traipsing in and out. It’s your choice to have the child over. Just keep your boundaries and send him home for dinner.

My DD’s friends always seemed to prefer hanging out at our place, even though it’s much smaller than pretty much all of the others.

Even if annoying at times, I never minded it either because you never really know why a child prefers your place. I’m happy to know they feel comfortable at ours.

If it seems too long then I’d send him home for meals.

At our previous house, the other parents on the street seemed to think that I was a free childcare facility. It got to the point that I resented it as it wasn’t reciprocal so I just reigned it right in. Some people take the piss.

We know them and live next door but one, we speak to them a lot and know their jobs 🤷🏻‍♀️

i think it’s very sad that he’s not allowed to have friends to play. And I’d be more likely to welcome it at mine to make up for it for both of the kids.

And?

you know what they do behind closed doors during the weekend?

It’s not that he’s not allowed friends over!!

we have no idea whether he has friends over or not.

Some parents don’t want kids in their home all the time. I personally would do a couple of hours max. This kid is around too much. Especially as your DD isn’t allowed in his home.