Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

I can't believe people were giving you dirty looks, of course trains are difficult but you had help

You absolutely can use the wheelchair space as long as it’s unoccupied and if you’re prepared to vacate if and when it’s needed. There’s no need to be a martyr about this and leave it empty when you could use the space for a pushchair so it’s not in anyone’s way.

How is it the train company’s fault that there wasn’t space? They don’t know who is going to bring toddlers, bikes, prams, dogs etc. that take up more space. They just sell the tickets and if there’s no room then it’s rubbish but it’s tough luck

Not generally. Only if their argument is increasingly silly.

Good advice but I was coming back to London when this happened. This happened at Folkestone central station

I was replying to the poster who commented that she was allowing her baby to be loud. The quote is there, above my comment.

Yes, I agree, however can also understand wanting to just find a different location to save having to relocate/make wheelchair user feel uncomfortable.

I know.

So, actually yes then.

You might think it was obvious, and it would be to me, even without the lanyard and ear defenders, but I guarantee to many it wouldn’t have been obvious. It doesn’t excuse their reactions but plenty wouldn’t have known, or be those folks who think parents make it up to excuse bad behaviour.

I don’t think it’s accurate to say you can’t stop an NT toddler from banging on the table though. Distraction works quite well.

To be fair, trains are overcrowded a lot of the time. They're not unaware of this.

I took a busy train yesterday and I too was annoyed by people sitting in the aisle seats, so you have to ask them if you can sit in the window seat next to them

can you confirm that your buggy was already collapsed when the train arrived?

If not, that is the etiquette you are looking for. Be ready to board the train with buggy collapsed.

“They did the same for parents with buggies”

Did you miss that bit?

How would I vacate it? That would mean the train gets full the further we travel and I’d risk not getting a seat. Then I’d have to move toddler mid snack, risk not getting seat and have a toddler kicking off because I’m moving him while eating.

No that is just dumb and created unnecessary hassle. I am not disabled so I wouldn’t dream of using it. What you do is your choice.

In fairness the high speed trains from St Pancras are usually either 12 or 6 carriages. Southeastern trains are notorious for cutting it down to a 6 carriage whenever possible. They don't seem to have any knowledge of school terms, don't seem to do any planning around large events etc.

However if you know this you can plan for it. It could be if op waited an hour she'd have got a 12 carriage train and would have had loads of room

This is the most batshit thread I've read in a while. The minor change in heat must be getting to people, the argumentativeness and vitriol on this thread is unreal.

I think if you're travelling by train regularly, you need to develop a slightly thicker skin. It's a shame that you had a bad experience and people can be very rude, but really you're lucky that someone gave you a seat and I find it odd that you're complaining about it being a table one.

People don't like kids because they're unpredictable, a little bit messy and don't sit in the sullen silence that most travellers prefer on a train journey. That's not your problem, that's theirs. Your child is entitled to take up space and make a certain amount of noise in the world he lives in, and if that makes other people cross, that's on them.

I travel regularly with two kids on a train by myself so having two adults would be a real luxury. It's not pleasant but you divide and conquer - one person takes the child, the other one deals with the buggy/bags. When trains are busy, I find it more relaxing to sit in the corridor space with my kids where they can walk about a bit, even if it means we have to sit on the floor.

In the places that I’ve been to in East Asia (Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan) there are queue lines painted onto the platform at train stations. People line up in neat queues to get onto trains. I got on a lot of long-distance trains in Japan this April and did not see a single instance of someone queue jumping or shoving, neither among the Japanese or among foreign tourists.

People will cram onto busy metro and commuter trains when they are insanely full but they don’t jump the queue. If you don’t want to get on a super busy train you hang back to let people who want to cram in go ahead and then you get to be at the front of the queue for the next one. It’s not a free-for-all.

Nope.
Sweden is one country.....awaiting the list of 'other countries'. Also not sure how busy Swedish trains are.
It's not that I think the pushing is good, but it's what's always happened. People haven't always expected unfolded buggies/pushchairs to be accommodated either.

You sit near it presumably? Why would you lose your seat? Wheelchair user comes on, buggy is folded/moved out to aisle/moved to create more space for wheelchair, you and toddler sit back down, or toddler remains seated while you sort.

chances are the space won’t be needed by a wheelchair user anyway, but I check with the guard as they will know if a disabled person has booked travel assistance.

Interesting, seems civilised. We don't have such as system in the UK though, so it's unreasonable to expect the behaviour that comes with that.

Japan is certainly another.

Public transport, unless you paid for first class you aren’t guaranteed a seat.

That is true but without a conductor at every door they can’t control who gets on at what stop and with what accessories. Sometimes my bus home is completely full before it’s left the first stop, really annoying but not the bus company’s fault that everyone got on and there’s no room for me