Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

Again, we don't know they specifically pushed her. At a busy train entrance people are just generally pushing, and if you're at the front (and perhaps unprepared) then you'll feel all the shoves even if not directly touching you.
I don't blame OP for feeling frustrated but I'm not sure what she actually expected either.

OK, mate. You’re getting offensive to OP. Calling her a liar.

Never said I had to be treated differently, if you read the post. I was expecting to be treated the same as how I would treat anyone. When trains come, I do not push past anyone. I treat everyone with respect and if I do see a woman with a child or someone struggling I offer help. I don’t shove them out the way or moan at them

I always think public transport is a bit mixed. On the one hand lots of people getting on without waiting for others to get off on the tube (more than I remember in the past!) but on the other someone actually offered me a seat with my baby on board badge recently and I often see people helping strangers lift buggies or suitcases up and down the tube steps. Chalk it up to a bad experience.

People don't work at the seaside then?

No, I'm pointing out that her perspective may not be what actually happened (as explained in my other post).

Yes. That’s where they would be then isn’t it? Not on the train. Unless you think an army of workers were returning to London after doing a day’s shift at a tourist beach spot?

Sure you are. Have a nice afternoon.

Ah… yes. I clearly need to learn to read better. Ignore me.

This has to be a joke? This was happening when I was a regular train traveller back in the days of British Rail, when trains had far fewer carriages on them and were late/cancelled far more frequently.

I travel daily by train Kent to London and during rush hour I do find it a bit silly that parents attempt to get on with multiple children, buggies, scooters and then allowing their kids to stand on seats, eat smelly snacks and play on their iPads with the volume up. That’s rush hour though, I don’t understand why someone not commuting for work would put themselves or their kids through it. I do however, ALWAYS offer a seat if it means families sitting together. I’ve found having been pregnant 3 times when commuting that it’s only ever women that offer their seats. I always offer to help with buggies on and off the train too because hey I’ve been there.

Weekends people should expect there to be families. I had an amazing collapsible buggy for my kids that squished up small enough to go in the overhead luggage think it was called a Quinny Buzz, that was 14 years ago though surely there’s something similar these days?

Are you deliberately being obtuse?
Work at seaside.
Get train home from work.
Or
Live at seaside.
Get train to (later) shift at work.
How hard is this to understand?

Does this count as the fast train? Seatbreservations are possible if so.

Sounds like typical trains to me, its everyone for themselves to get a seat

You weren’t initially trying to get on with the buggy up, were you?

For you it clearly is.

there were no stops from where OP got on, it was the fast train from London.

people do not generally commute from London to a Kent seaside town to work, either, if you really want your argue the point, possibly someone may have been going INTO work but hardly enough ‘workers’ would have been doing that late on a Saturday afternoon to make any meaningful difference to train volume.

Do you always comment on every post a person makes just because they randomly disagreed with you on one small thing? 🫣🫣

I don’t think any individuals are to blame. It was obviously an oversubscribed service which isn’t the fault of anyone trying to get the train. People were pushing because they also wanted to get on and knew not everyone would. To be honest my experience of very full trains and platforms is that the etiquette is everyone for themselves otherwise you never get on.

Sorry you had a rubbish experience though, it must’ve been stressful.

If it’s Southeastern you can’t. Trainline isn’t a reliable source on this

https://www.southeasternrailway.co.uk/travel-information/on-board-the-train/finding-a-seat

I don’t think it’s ever been a thing to queue for a train. People just stand on the platform. That being said, I would let someone with a child on first (as well as older people and pregnant women). I don’t think people would have been annoyed at you. People with buggies use the train all the time. Maybe you’re just feeling a bit sensitive because you were stressed?

Eh?
People commute to work in all sorts of locations.
Even if they weren't working, they're no less entitled to find a seat than OP.

You can tick the button all you like but when your purchase comes through you will not have a seat reserved. Multiple people on this thread who travel regularly on HS1 (myself included) have confirmed that you cannot book seats.

I am going to complain to the train company because it is their fault that there wasn’t space. I basically came on to ask if there was a train etiquette I didn’t know about in the sense that people shouldn’t get trains with kids and I didn’t realise. It was a genuine question but people misunderstood what I was trying to say and ran with it

This seems to be one of those bunfight threads where people double down. However, a couple of things that occur to me:

If you actually really believe that people “literally pushed you out of the way to get on” - i.e. deliberately physically pushed you - then you should report it as assault. It would be taken seriously by the BTP and is fortunately not a common occurrence, particularly for several people in a group all to be pushing you. It’s different of course it was just the usual jostling that takes place boarding a busy train, combined with people trying to get past you because you hadn’t folded the buggy and were taking a long time. I assume you didn’t expect people to just wait patiently behind you while the carriage filled up from the other door?

Secondly, how lovely that people gave you a seat. Hopefully that made up for the difficulty in boarding.

That's horrible, OP. When mine were that young, I always found people to be extremely helpful and nice. I'd have helped you and offered my seat.