Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

Op of course you aren't unreasonable. People in this country including those posting on a website for mums don't like children.
I would be upset too.

There's lots of different reasons why people might struggle getting onto a train that's crowded, and doesn't say much good about society if people pushed out the way. Although probably id blame the train company most.

(Also sounds like your 14 month child weighs more than my 3 year old!).
I would have probably tried sitting on the floor or in the aisle in this situation.

It’s weird to feel culture shock in the city where I've lived all my life but getting onto a tube home from Heathrow after two weeks in Japan gets me every time. The tube used to be a lot more like Japanese trains. Never as clean, but people used to quietly ignore each other and didn’t do things like play music out loud.

Not in my experience, and I've travelled by train since the late 1980s.

Trains only with doors at each end of the carriage cause congestion too. Trains used to have doors in the middle of each carriage too until the 70s which meant three entry/exit points per carriage (which were also shorter) than the two at each end which is now common. Although I know some commuter trains have more doors to assist with entry/exit.

If anyone had shoved me while I was carrying one of my babies in to a train I would have shouted at them "DONT PUSH ME! IM HOLDING THE BABY!" and yes I have told people to stand aside before if they've tried to get in front of me with my kids.
I've also got on a train where everyone (mainly men, no kids) was crowded by the doors, and my kids and I couldnt get in. I stepped on and like a policewoman I shouted "MOVE DOWN THE CARRIAGE PLEASE" and they literally jumped and moved without looking or questioning. Be ready to stand your ground. People don't expect to get pulled up. I'm happy to pull them right up.

but the pob with trains is you only have so long to get on and once they blow the wistle the trains shutting doors etc,

Trains have no queueing tradition like buses due to the multiple doors on trains versus the single bus door. At one time before train services deteriorated and capacity stopped meeting demand, people could simply line up along the platform and walk through the nearest door, so they continue to do this, but with some jostling when there's a risk they won't get on. Where I live people form orderly queues for buses.

I feel ashamed coming back to this country from Japan. I really do. No one cares anymore. No consideration for others at all.

Erm parents can bring their children on the train at whatever time they feel like, with it being a free country.

Of course they can. They can take their children on a train during rush hour.If they choose. I wouldn't argue with that.

I would say they have no right to complain the train is overcrowded, though. If you travel in rush hour, expect it to be crowded.

So often the first reply is the best. This is very neatly and aptly summarised! 😀

I have been on a lot of very busy trains lately and helped many people with children and babies. Maybe it is different in the North but here everyone helps. However as you were with your husband possibly people thought he would help. Shocking that people pushed you, did your husband not tell them to stop?

This thread is a stellar exemplar of mumsnet’s stated aim of making parents’ lives easier. NOT 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Laying into a woman who is a bit pissed off that she had to ask for a seat so she didn’t have to stand all the way to London for an hour. Telling her that she should have booked a seat. Telling her that they should have gone to the other end of the train, that her husband was useless, that basically it was ALL HER FAULT.

I can remember how brutal it was taking little children out for a day on public transport with little experience. Very sad that so many other mums don’t seem to be able to remember it and/or are just enjoying giving a mum of a baby a good kicking.

That's my experience with trains in the North too and my son is a wheelchair user.

Buses are a different story but trains are generally a pleasant experience.

Exactly! Also, people with children need to get the rush hour trains for lots of reasons. It isn’t just reserved for people without children! Some of the replies on here are very eye-opening about the level of people’s disdain for children. I find it quite depressing.

Were things better in 'the good ol days'?!

Just been to Spain for a week and we had intrusive phone noise behind us on the plane, then beside us in the coach transfer to the hotel, then from fellow guests poolside. It’s everywhere. What is up with people? Why are headphones no longer a thing?

Wow.

I'm commenting from the first page here. It's a train to London. Of course everyone is peeved, that's seemingly the state of affairs from anywhere in the UK to London and especially going around LDN. People travelling there seem to have an issue with kids, pets, bikes, other passengers, headphones, food and a plethora of other things. It's not personal. It's the destination and mindset. Nowt you can do about that loves, and it was only once. Get a takeaway and a bottle of wine and write it up to miserable bastards and move forward :)

The train companies are at fault, not putting enough carriages on at busy times. They're probably delighted the passengers are all blaming one another for a problem that wouldn't even exist if this country was capable of running a railway properly.

Love the stealth boast!

Blimey. Why not tell us how you really feel!

OMFG. Come to the north and speak like that, lass.

"side note, I grew up in London..." yer don't say...🙄
"I do want children some day" - do the rest of the populous a massive favour and please don't. Jesus, more like you!? As if we don't have enough!

"You don’t deserve a seat just because you couldn’t keep your 🦵s shut" I laughed at that, I admit - but only because of the puerility of the remark and your evident immaturity. Additional reasons not to 'pro-create' FYI, would be because merely thinking you're smarter and more mature than what you actually are means you won't be able to adapt to parenting, or to execute it nearly as well as you think you can. I HTH 😁

It was Margate Pride, Herne Bay carnival, Broadstairs Folk week and Whitstable Harbour Day yesterday so the trains would have all been busier than usual on a sunny Saturday!