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Original poster

Train etiquette

684 replies

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Fern95 · 10/08/2025 20:58

That space is for wheelchairs then buggies then bikes not the other way round! I can't hold my 12 month old for an entire train journey precisely because she CAN walk and stand and she's the size of a 2 year old, I literally don't have the strength to confine her on my lap for an hour + especially with my shit back. She loves violently throwing herself backwards without any warning and it's been suggested that she has hypertonia because of her muscle tone/strength. Guess she might be useful as a pro wrestler and earn me a fortune 🤣

Unfortunately a seat is useless to people who can't safely hold their children. What an earth would the bike users have expected you to do with a newborn in a bassinet pram or twins??? Keep the buggy up if you struggle otherwise. Bikes on trains are supposed to be folded barring off peak times in/around London.

To the people saying don't travel during rush hour with kids that is very unrealistic when you are given a medical appointment etc at 9am at St Thomas or similar.

DurinsBane · 10/08/2025 21:09

YellowZebraStripes · 10/08/2025 10:57

Were you expecting a red carpet? 😂There was a train, you managed to get on, someone gave you a seat, it was quite busy. I don't see how this was anyone else fault - someone with bikes can only get on at certain carriages of the train.

That’s the issue, people with bikes can get on any carriage, but only some have places for them. So they end up blocking the area by the doors

MimiGC · 10/08/2025 21:28

I travel on trains between the Kent coast and London all the time and you categorically cannot book seats.

AlpacaMittens · 10/08/2025 21:29

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 14:56

Obviously people were working 🤣 I was replying to a response that implied I was traveling on weekday office worker times

Show quote history

You literally wrote "it wasn't a working day". Saturdays, and Sundays, are working says for loads of people.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/08/2025 21:53

JillMW · 10/08/2025 19:35

I have been on a lot of very busy trains lately and helped many people with children and babies. Maybe it is different in the North but here everyone helps. However as you were with your husband possibly people thought he would help. Shocking that people pushed you, did your husband not tell them to stop?

I got told off for commenting this on a thread the other day, but this is another one of those threads where the husband seems almost not to have been present, at least according to the OP’s recollection.

I have commented more fully up thread so didn’t just come on to say this.

Shadowdancers · 10/08/2025 22:04

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

Bunch of animals, everyone for itself... Long gone British manners... If they all jumped in front of you...
Word of advise.. Next time get your husband to block others and ensure you have a safe passage... Been there... Done it... Or else plan the train better...

Chompingatthebeat · 10/08/2025 22:09

As a regular train user, i find most people to be mostly polite - not sure about this 'bunch of animals' rhetoric, perhaps its just what you choose to focus on

Panterusblackish · 10/08/2025 22:12

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:55

I live in London and don’t have a car so I’ve been on plenty of trains. If you read my post, you would see, I said I couldn’t walk to the next carriage because the train and platform were too busy. There wasn’t enough time in this instance. Not everyone on the platform made it on the train. The man with the bikes was already on the train when it got to my stop. I couldn’t walk down the train because the isles were full of people standing. I literally go anywhere but off the train or on the train where I was stood. My husband carried the buggy and stood holding it folded . I took the baby. And to clarify , I was stood my the door attempting to get on the train with my baby and people were pushing me no out the way

Edited

People are becoming feral.

No one should be pushing a mother and baby out if the way.

Sadly as a society we are importing American individualism rather than understanding that a greater good exists.

An adult without earphones playing music or a film really is something to get annoyed about. A baby babbling away is totally different and just part of life.

Harry12345 · 10/08/2025 22:38

Fragmentedbrain · 10/08/2025 10:44

People are not very empathetic to someone with an added burden, Brits don't like kids, trains in the UK are balls. A depressing trip all round.

But you could have not let him drum on the table...

I’ve got trains from 2 big cities in Scotland for years with young children and people are very helpful and nice, never had the experience op is speaking of. Most people actually help you on with the buggy and give up a seat for you

twinkletwinklelittlestarhiwwur · 10/08/2025 22:41

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 15:52

Helping. He was folding buggy and finding somewhere to stand with that. But maybe that wasn’t enough, I might look into divorce . I’d like to point out that if he was holding the child, he also would have been entitled to priority seating, doesn’t specify gender in the guide lines and equality is important

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Live and learn OP. Next time have the buggy folded ahead of the train pulling up, so you're all ready to jump when the doors open, like everyone else does. Should go smoother then.

Harry12345 · 10/08/2025 22:45

nomas · 10/08/2025 11:20

You got a seat, not sure why you’re moaning, sounds like you wanted a parting of the Red Sea because you have a baby.

No it doesn’t, she expects some human decency and not to be pushed out the way! No wonder London gets such a bad rep, people sound awful

Petitchat · 10/08/2025 23:55

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What if you have a 9.00.am appointment at a childrens hospital dept?

You've not really thought that through, have you?

Looking forward to you coming into mumsnet when you have kids, to explain to us how to manage on public transport....

Petitchat · 11/08/2025 00:03

OneNeatBlueOrca · 10/08/2025 19:31

Of course they can. They can take their children on a train during rush hour.If they choose. I wouldn't argue with that.

I would say they have no right to complain the train is overcrowded, though. If you travel in rush hour, expect it to be crowded.

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OP DID expect it to be busy, she said so in her post?
She didn't complain that the train was overcrowded?

Have you read the wrong OP?

Petitchat · 11/08/2025 00:07

DamsonGoldfinch · 10/08/2025 19:36

This thread is a stellar exemplar of mumsnet’s stated aim of making parents’ lives easier. NOT 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Laying into a woman who is a bit pissed off that she had to ask for a seat so she didn’t have to stand all the way to London for an hour. Telling her that she should have booked a seat. Telling her that they should have gone to the other end of the train, that her husband was useless, that basically it was ALL HER FAULT.

I can remember how brutal it was taking little children out for a day on public transport with little experience. Very sad that so many other mums don’t seem to be able to remember it and/or are just enjoying giving a mum of a baby a good kicking.

Edited

Yeah, I've just been on another thread that was mum bashing.
Shame, seems to be getting more common on mumsnet these days.....

BlondeAussie · 11/08/2025 00:47

OP:

EmJA85 · Yesterday 11:05
No, if you read my post you would see the issue is that I was literally trying to get on and there first and they pushed me out the way

Also OP:

EmJA85 · Yesterday 11:24

It wasn’t a working day. It was the fast train from Margate to King’s Cross on a Saturday. Obviously I didn’t expect old people etc to get up and again if you actually read the post . The issue wasn’t about people pushing me out the way

Not too sure what the issue actually was, then?????

incognitomummy · 11/08/2025 00:56

Why are MN mum bashing?
absolutely the opposite of the sisterhood.

incognitomummy · 11/08/2025 01:01

OP - the rest of the would be passengers were impolite & selfish.

getting a train is an absolute nightmare with smalls. You need to go prepared for war. Or rugby.

it’s easier when there is an army of parents with smalls but buggy parking becomes an issue

you did well in the circumstances tbh

i found a sling & backpack easier in those days. & the bus was my favoured mode of transport

worth learning to drive & getting a car, if you haven’t already.

GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 06:55

incognitomummy · 11/08/2025 00:56

Why are MN mum bashing?
absolutely the opposite of the sisterhood.

It's not mum bashing, it's explaining how OP, and her bl**dy husband, could have been more prepared. Nobody has said anything about her skills as a parent.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:26

incognitomummy · 11/08/2025 00:56

Why are MN mum bashing?
absolutely the opposite of the sisterhood.

Look into incel and anti natalism

OP posts:
summerskyblue · 11/08/2025 07:32

I have already commented earlier.

But reading this thread further I still can't see any reason why two healthy parents travelling with one child and who only had to fold their buggy in advance to make boarding the train straightforward would need to complain when THEY caused a nuisance by insisting in bringing the buggy onboard unfolded.

Completely unreasonable and untitled.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:33

summerskyblue · 11/08/2025 07:32

I have already commented earlier.

But reading this thread further I still can't see any reason why two healthy parents travelling with one child and who only had to fold their buggy in advance to make boarding the train straightforward would need to complain when THEY caused a nuisance by insisting in bringing the buggy onboard unfolded.

Completely unreasonable and untitled.

Why are you still going on about it 🤣

OP posts:
GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:35

EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:26

Look into incel and anti natalism

Show quote history

While I don't doubt these types are present on MN, folk suggesting how you could have been a bit more proactive in making things easier for yourself definitely isn't that. Lesson learnt. Have the buggy folded ready, and make sure DH is playing his part to help too.

GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:35

EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:33

Why are you still going on about it 🤣

Show quote history

Why did you start going on about it?

EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:36

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GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:37

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Of course, but there's also a lot of parents (like me) who are giving constructive advice. Preparation is key. ✌️