Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

To be fair, recently I have found that people seem to get on whatever carriage they feel like with bikes 🤷‍♀️

Some harsh replies OP, I would have offered you my seat in such a situation.

Also, rush hour or no rush hour, people shouldn't be pushing past you when you are carrying a one year old - what if you lost your balance?

That's because it's on a completely different line, its the Dover line.

A Margate train would never be rerouted through Folkestone because it's completely out of the way, nowhere near it.

What time was it when you got on the train.

When I commuted on trains I was very annoyed by people bringing children and buggies during rush hour.

Outside of rush hours I didn’t care. What you experienced is pretty typical. People aren’t friendly on public transport and giving up seats is pretty rare.

Yeah, that was the point I ducked out yesterday tbh.
You can a train from Folkestone to Ramsgate, separately, sure. It does not go via Margate however. And Margate trains go to St. Pancras not Kings Cross. 🤷‍♀️

Shame Southerners are so very ignorant then, isn't it?

In the North we are more friendly, helpful and accepting.

Talk about a North/South divide?
Yeah it exists alright.....in manners!

You were definitely right to ask for a seat.
Your child has every right to chat & play.

If everyone wants to sit around on headphones, devices & not take part in society anymore, let them…

It’s sounds like a horrible experience OP, I’ve no idea why so many people think this sort of service that you’re paying for is acceptable - that’s down to the train company, but it’s sad that so many think grown adults pushing and shoving past each other is normal, it’s not normal behaviour from decent people. But going on some of the reply’s here I’m not surprised.

Er. Well not from my observation. Everyone just shudders and hopes you'll wheel on to another carriage so we don't have to hear the squeals.

That doesn't make sense.

Probably yes, trains were generally longer, there were more trains, etc., so not the same rush/stress to get on and get a seat.

Actually down to the Dept of Transport who control the railways. Even with the few remaining private train operating companies, it's the DOT who decide train length, train frequency, timetables, type of train, etc.

There would be no way I would push a women holding a baby out of the way to get on a train. What has happened to common decency! Looks like most of the posters on here believe that's ok but I think its really sad.

Only down South.....

I live in the north and no you and (we) are not any better than anyone or anywhere else.

You need to come up north. Last time I went on a train in a similar situation a group of lads going day drinking gave up their seat for me and entertained my toddler. The guys where loving it / singing etc

Well it appears from this thread that people north of London have more manners and are more helpful on trains towards parents with small children

Wow 😮 this thread is certainly eye opening!

OP sounds horrific. That pushing & shoving is awful.

I have travelled on the tube with child in buggy & always wheel it on. Its safer as baby/ toddler is strapped in & sitting down.

It's a sad day when people are ok to wheel bikes into trains (without being expected to dismantle them before embarking to ensure they take up the minimum room possible) but a mother with a baby is pushed & shoved out of the way!

But truly the attitudes of so many posters here is what's really disturbing.

Oh, I've been there too! Late morning at the weekend, so no reason the train was absolutely rammed! People pushed infront of me with the buggy (which really annoyed me!), and we had to stand until I loudly asked if anyone was going to give up their space for a wobbly 3 year old! 2 men did thankfully, I was not going to let her stand all the way to London (about an hour!).
OP - people can be horrible, and don't worry if your baby makes noise (though, I can be quite bolshy and don't mind telling strangers to bog off 🤣)

I have travelled on the tube with child in buggy & always wheel it on. Its safer as baby/ toddler is strapped in & sitting down
Not necessarily safer.If you're in the mosh pit of the vestibule. Surrounded by standing passengers. Being crushed round the buggy. Safer to take your child out collapse the buggy and ask for a seat and put the child in your lap. Which is what she was able to do despite complaining so much.

Why do you think you re more entitled to get on with a pram than somebody with a bike. It is public transport No one has any more right than anyone else.

yeah, then you always get a couple if buffoons who try to leap on a crowded train because they think they can see a space if only people would make room, when in fact it’s a pram or buggy.

A pram IS more entitled to space than a bike though in my opinion. A baby or toddler really doesn’t have the option of deciding not to use their pram that day, their options for transportation are limited. Presumably if you choose to travel with a huge, uncollapsible cumbersome bike as many of them are then you need to fully prepare for the fact that there may not be space for it. The tram and bus network where I am doesn’t even allow them for that very reason.

Wheelchairs have first priority, then prams and buggies.

We'll have to disagree on that. It's public transport.

I once saw a massive crowd trying to push onto a train as there was space- there was a pram with a baby and it was getting dangerous the crush around it.

It is always safer to take your kid out and collapse the pram.

The op was able to get on and her husband and get a seat. People do like to complain.

Was thinking this- maybe don't travel busy times i sympathise that it can be hard but other people have needs too, places to go, might be rushing to get to their kids. If you travel a lot on London I am surprised your reaction about rush hour.

Someone gave you their seat. What else do you want?

But just saying ‘it’s public transport’ is silly. If it was purely a level playing field just because it’s simply public transport then why bother to have ramps, priority seating, luggage racks, designated areas for bikes/prams/wheelchairs/disabled toilets/seats with more legroom at all? Of course some people should have more priority than others. that’s life in a civilised society.

Not always safer to fold and hold either. You have to weigh it up for each situation. When a baby is small and not standing, you can’t do both unless a random person holds them or you lay them on the floor, which is obviously not safe to do. Especially when the bus/train/tram has already started moving- they don’t wait.

To be fair similar happened to me yesterday down south