Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

You appear to care a lot for someone who wasn’t on the train and wasn’t affected by this situation whatsoever 🤣

Bloody hell, you still at it?

Yes 🤣 I have to admit, I enjoyed the banter for a bit but I’ve moved past this now

Kinda does for most forms of public transport - priority seating

I live in Folkestone and have noticed recently A LOT of people getting off the train from the London direction (family member lives on main road from train station to town).
Surely best bet is get train earlier or pay extra to go into Dover to come back so you can get the seat...

The real disgrace is that people pay for train tickets and then are treated like cattle in a truck because there isn't enough space, trains get cancelled and so on. This absolutely brings out the worst in people as everyone jockeys to get on and make their own situation as tolerable as possible. It would be lovely if other travellers put themselves out to compensate for the failures of the train operators by making other people's journeys pleasant at their own expense. But it's not really their responsibility. Complain to the train company.

Things aren't always as they appear. 🤔

I used to commute with a 3 month old baby - still bf so got a childminder next to the office. I was never offered a seat and people tended not to get off before the last station so I often had to stand the whole way. Baby was in a sling as no way could I get a buggy on the train. It wasn't any different 25 years ago.

You were on the train, makes sense

That’s poor form

Eh?
I was responding to your comment, you know the one I quoted. 🫣

the problem i found on trains sometimes was you offered a seat and some snapped eg dont you think im not capable of managing etc so it can be a mix at times.

That’s just Joe public acting their normal arsehole selves.

We flew home from Spain this week and I had to laugh at the numpties pushing and shoving to get first in the boarding gate queue even though we were all on the same plane leaving together and seats were allocated in advance.

I think you’re unreasonable to assume that your need for a seat is greater than anyone else’s. Other travellers don’t know your circumstances, other than seeing you with a pushchair and child, and you don’t know other travellers’ circumstances. For example I had to stand on the train last week, from London, a 2 hour journey. I had just been to hospital to have an appointment to plan radiotherapy continuing my cancer treatment. No one would know that. It was an uncomfortable journey and when a seat became available further into the journey, I sat down. I was not lucky enough to be offered and given a seat like you were.

I am quite astonished at some of the responses on here. I’m a child-free woman and I always offer my seat up to someone with a kid (for the kid). Or someone elderly, pregnant or with a disability, of course. I just see it as being kind and mannerly. It’s a wee shame seeing kids having to stand up and getting knocked about etc. I wouldn’t tut or be annoyed at a family trying to travel. As for saying people with kids shouldn’t travel at rush hour, I mean wtf?? I don’t live or work in London, to be fair, but still. Where’s the kindness??

I’ve lived in London and I can say train etiquette does not exist. It’s each and every person for themselves I’m afraid, because if you don’t push your way onto the train, plenty of others will..

Wishing you all the best with your treatment.
You're absolutely correct too, that we cannot always judge another person's potential need to sit/rest.

There is no train etiquette in this country. It’s a free for all. Every man for himself. No one will wait, no one will give up their seats, people don’t even give up their seats to the person who has booked it. I feel people in this country have slowly got more and more selfish. They talk loudly on their phones in a full carriage, kids are left to be feral and feet are on the seats.
I’ve noticed this more in the last 2 weeks since coming back from Japan. There you have train etiquette and it’s such a breath of fresh air. Trains are clean, quiet and people are respectful of each other. Makes this country look like a shambles.

I used to think the same - why are people so keen to get to the front when boarding!? But someone told me it was due to onboard baggage storage, so they could put their bags in the overhead storage nearest to their seats. If you get on last, chances are you might be sat in row 38d, but your baggage will be on the overhead on row 4b! I always have checked in luggage in the hold, so don’t really have that problem.

Lesson learnt. Just because you got there early is totally irrelevant to anyone else and in that respect yes, your expectations are totally unrealistic, it isn't the 1950's anymore.

Book the slow train if you want a better experience. Go to one end of the train where carriages are less likely to be packed. The fast trains are always rammed. On the whole pepole are decent on trains but there are always some that aren't as with anything else.

We live a commutable distance to London and when mine were little I planned the trips so we got on and off at stops/times that were likely to be less busy where possible. It is tricky with little ones but as the parent you're responsible for keeping your child entertained and teach them to be well behaved, we used to have small books to read them etc.

You had a young child with you, that's tough but none of the other travellers had labels. It's really easy to assume our travel is the most challenging but we all know that's not the case so can't assume other travellers are better placed to assist.

Manners have declined.

Years ago when I lived in London there were queues at London bus stops and people took notice of them. Now, it's everyone for themselves regardless if you were 1st at the stop or last. I partly blame this on people coming from other countries where queueing is not the norm or not being taught manners. Britain used to be know for it's calm queueing- it was actually in jokes! - and this is not being racist before anyone jumps in.

The same happens on train platforms. It's quite easy to spot a late arrival and years ago (I'm talking 40 years when I lived in London) people would wait if they were late comers onto the platform.

Now it's every man and woman for themselves elbows at the ready.
I think the only way to change this is for each of us to show some manners, let parent with babes in arms on first, help anyone struggling and give up seats to the more needy.

If everyone reading this started , it might catch on!

People have rarely queued for trains in the UK, unless station staff are enforcing it.

TBH it was a Saturday in August and you were going to the seaside from London. Wild horses couldn't have dragged me to Folkestone and back by train yesterday. It was bound to be packed.

I didn't say they queued. I said people used to 'note' who was there first and showed some consideration.