Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

What she did could easily be described as faffing. HTH
I'm not admitting anything because there's nothing to admit. HTH

Already replied. HTH.
Feel free to ignore me.

The clue's in the name, they toddle, they need to be on laps or on seats, stop being such a pedant

People pushed because she was stood right at the front, in front of the door but instead of getting straight onboard was faffing with a buggy. Unless they are psychopaths they weren't pushing for fun, but because the OP and family were blocking their chance to try to get onto the beyond capacity train.

Surely holding a 12kg toddler isn’t a safe or reasonable expectation! They did the right thing folding the buggy down. Is there no consideration of non walking toddlers being carried - because it is clearly stipulated that this would be a situation that qualifies for a priority seat.

I have boarded many trains in that area over the years and have never seen anyone pushing people out of the way. Yes, it can be hectic and you may not see people at their most accommodating, but I have never experienced what you describe, although I don't recall ever boarding a train with a buggy,

The nit-pickers are out in force.

OP has very clearly said several times now she was 'not faffing.'

Don't worry, you have already acknowledged that you didn't in fact have the experience of the train route to back up your previous comments.

Train travel is often a nightmare regular Avanti user I have lots of awful journey s especially Sundays They cancel trains constantly then shove everyone on one train that's running It can be very dangerous for babys and children there doesn't seem to be a limit to how many passengers they will squeeze on It should be looked into before someone is squashed so badly they can't breathe

How would I know? Why are you asking me why people do what they do?!

I agree OP. Sounds like poor etiquette to me. Yes people do remember who arrives first and let those get on first in my experience at normal commuter levels. Sounds like it was a bad experience due to everyone being frustrated with too many people and not enough trains space. I think etiquette does tend to go out of the window in those circumstances. As for ther person saying you shouldn't travel with a child during normal busy times - you are entitled to travel when you need and want to. It does make it harder for you but it doesn't mean people should throw their manners out of the window.

That's normal I'm afraid.

So now that you've explained you still had the buggy up with your toddler in it when the train arrived that explains the people pushing past you.

I'd have definitely moved around you and got on the train before you while you took the time to realise you couldn't get on with the buggy up, had to get your toddler out and then one of you had to work on folding it etc.

I'd have tried not to bump you, wouldn't have 'pushed' you out of the way, but if two people are standing in front of the door on a busy train the flow of people is naturally going to go around you.

Would have been better as soon as you realised that the buggy had to be collapsed that you moved out of the way of the door until you were ready to get on then you wouldn't have felt pushed.

I think in terms of train etiquette, if the platform is obviously busy, you should fold your buggy before boarding.

I also think the etiquette of nodding to someone to board before you in they were already on the platform when you arrived, becomes impossible when it is as busy as you describe.

But the eye-rolling and being shoved passed, is downright rude. I would put it down to being on a train with Londoners. There’s something in the water that makes them extra miserable and near incapable of kindness when someone else struggling impacts them in anyway.

This thread sounds like a Fawlty Towers episode!
I'm just trying to decide who is the best Basil?

I would have thought statistically car travel is more dangerous for babies and children, not sure how many get crushed on trains

Yes its busy public transport, having a kid doesn't make you special.

So this wouldn't happen in yorkshire?

Where I live public transport never gets as busy as the lines around London so all fellow passengers are generally in a better mood and more accommodating of the situation OP describes. Can’t comment on Yorkshire though.

I live on the south coast and we used to have to go to London with our youngest when he was around 5/6 every fortnight for a hospital visit, we had to change trains at Haywards heath and he usually fell asleep and getting on the next train was always a nightmare as it was usually rush hour with a sleeping child in my arms, people ignore you and do not make eye contact so they do not feel guilty for not offering a seat, the only people who tend to offer their seats are the people in work clothes that show that they are manual workers and have had a hard day.
We do have a priority seating card but it's hard to show it when he was asleep in my arms.

Yeah, im not sure to getting “train” trains. I live in London and on tube, overground, Elizabeth line, it’s better to board with the buggy

OP has very clearly said several times now she was 'not faffing.'

semantics. op said they originally tried to get on with the buggy up, and then collapsed it. in the doorway while people were trying to get on. Surprise surprise, there was pushing, because the people at the back can't see what is going on at the front.

She got a seat, it was all fine. My reading of the thread is that she's actually complaining because of "dirty looks". Recollections may vary and all that (i for one have "resting extremely grumpy face" i'm not the only one).

I am still a bit surprised that the DH didn't hold the child. Assuming that he's a regular guy - probably better able to do that than OP?

They can be carried too, if needs must.

OP was essentially faffing.
Detailed knowledge of a specific train isn't essential to be able to comment on train travel in general - out of interest, which model did you say it was?

Never said it did hun