Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

No one is going to randomly hand you a baby, except if there was some sort of disaster and you were the only one who could pass it to safety I suppose.

Obviously, as you’d hate it, you wouldn’t be offering to hold the baby in the first place.

Well, I'm also confused. It started out as Folkestone to London.
Then it was Margate to King's Cross (they go to St. Pancras) and now it's back to Folkestone Central.
So who knows?

I tend to book with trainline - not tried booking with a train company mainly because it presumably requires me to know which train I want to catch run by which company. Bring back nationalised railways, I say. I am fed up with subsidising share holders.

Sometimes I decide to polite to my own aching bones, having spent a lot of my life looking out for others.
This is all an aside though, had OP and her partner been more organised then one of them could have gone ahead with the folded buggy and secured a seat, if they were as near the door as OP says, while the other took more care carrying the toddler. 😁

This is a continuous problem. I feel bad seeing this happen. Since having the buggy , my eyes have been opened to how bad accessibility is for those in wheelchairs and I do speak up on this also

Someone actually did just randomly say 'can you hold my baby' to me once, so she could carry her shopping on to a bus. She seemed to not notice that I was also carrying shopping/rucksack. I felt I had to say yes, however it actually made it harder for me as I then had to put my stuff down. Why she chose a young (at the time) person wearing headphones I dont know. Bus driver was patient though.

I think you will find that I was (unless they also fit the criteria obviously)

People work on Saturdays, evidenced amongst other things by the fact that someone was driving the train you were on

If your child can't walk yet, he's not a toddler.

Before buses had low floors there was a route I took and there was usually a lady with a pram folded up and her toddler. There was always someone willing to help her either take the toddler or pram

Before buses had low floors there was a route I took and there was usually a lady with a pram folded up and her toddler. There was always someone willing to help her either take the toddler or pram

I got on at Folkestone and got off at Stratford International.

the train began its journey in ramsgate, travelled via Margate and ended in King’s Cross

Can't believe this has gone on for 17 pages.

Hope @EmJA85 you are having a lovely day in Stratford.

Priority seating is at the end of the rows in all carriages, near the door as standard on these trains.

I feel for you OP.

The situation you describe sounds frustrating and upsetting.

I think because overcrowded trains have become the norm, peoples rude behaviour has become the norm too.

Train travel is exorbitant so maybe people feel entitled to ‘a place’, hence the rudeness in pushing you out the way.

A mother with a young child would take priority in my eyes.

Hope you’re okay.

Margate is before Ramsgate

That train starts at Ramsgate as you say but doesn't pass through Margate

There is an HS1 which starts at Margate - then goes via Ramsgate, Canterbury West and Ashford International to St Pancras

If you are starting at Ramsgate that's quite a bit quicker as the Dover, Folkestone loop is a bit of a drag.

It wasn’t because people were challenging me at all. I believe some of the challengers to be legit posters

You’re not being unreasonable, so many people just simply lack empathy. I certainly wouldn’t dish out a dirty look to someone in your position

Obviously people were working 🤣 I was replying to a response that implied I was traveling on weekday office worker times

He can’t stand or walk. He’s 14months

Wheelchair provision is poor. The dilemma you had, as has been said, was caused by organisation. Fold the buggy beforehand. One of you get on first (with buggy) and secure a seat, the other bring the child. Not pleasant and a hassle. You might like to attempt changing trains at Birmingham with DH (now late) who cannot carry anything heavy due to groin pain caused by attack by a cow, two suitcases and a cat box. DH could pull one of the cases if we were careful. Delightful, I assure you! Not a soul helped, but then I expected that, it's bloody Birmingham.
NB If anyone wants to know why 2 suitcases, it was because I could not handle one large suitcase and a catbox (with cat).

The reason people don’t have empathy is that they have paid for an overpriced ticket on a shit train that doesn’t go often enough and doesn’t have enough seats. And they don’t want to hear a toddler chirping during this already shit journey.

Fast trains run from Margate, Ramsgate and Folkestone. The ones from Margate and Folkestone go via Ashford where HS1 starts. The ones from Ramsgate travel along the coast and don’t pick up the HS1 line until Ebbsfleet. All of them go into St Pancras. You can also get non high speed/fast trains into Victoria.

You cannot reserve seats on any of the trains.

Source: a local 😉

OP was saying she couldn't reserve a seat. I found her an option that allowed her to reserve a seat.

They become a toddler at 1 regardless of wether they can walk or not , makes no sense, I know