Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

I have read your replies @EmJA85 and am genuinely confused. To the best of my knowledge the fast trains to St Pancras don't run from Margate but from Ramsgate. Even those that run from Ramsgate aren't fast, fast.

I would venture that if you do this journey again, it would probably be easier to take a train back on yourself to Ramsgate or Margate and take the train from.one of those. The line from.Ramsgate that goes through Margate is not generally as busy.

I would have let him carry on drumming for the whole journey 😆

Yeah, I do sympathise with you, OP, but if there were two of you there, you fold the buggy and one of you holds the child, in their arms or a sling.

I thought children had to pay a fare? Nevertheless, any man sitting down, or young woman, whilst a woman stood holding a small child lacks manners if nothing else. Etiquette is that you give up your seat to someone who needs it more than you.

He sits on my lap so technically it’s my seat and I did pay for my ticket

5 years plus pay, under that don't.
Some train companies have deals where children go very cheaply with a paying adult.

My other suggestion would be that next time, one of you buys a first class ticket.

Yes, but it's no more your seat than anyone else's.
Some people also expect a whole seat for a toddler and some folk find that a bit entitled. I have mixed feelings, depending on who else needs a seat or how busy it is.

You realise that it also happens that people with children (gasps) ALSO need to travel at rush time?

Or do you feel, that because you’re working, it gives you some sort of priority pass/a step up on the ladder of who deserves some respect in public transport?

Seriously, rush hour is crap for everyone. If you’re annoyed at it, take it to the government/whoever is running your public transport instead of having a go at other users. It’s not going to be fun for them either.

There is generally no first class carriage on these trains. They don’t even do seat reservations.

I think the biggest issue is not “reading the room” as the platform filled up and not folding the buggy but still trying to get it on with the child in it.
next time it will be easier for all. Everyone sniffs at kids and has better ideas to do it differently- have to ignore them. Plus utilise partner to carry and entertain kid and you deal with pram and stuff. People don’t scoff at non child
baring parents as much IMO - as awful as that is

OP isn't entitled to anyone else's seat though.

In rush hour, children should be safely stowed in the overhead storage space with the rest of the luggage.

Blimey! You're very entitled! You do realise that people with young children also need to be at places at defined times, not always set by them?

It was a Saturday

I have to say this thread is eye opening.

Capitalism have won guys. Everything thing is about money (you don’t pay so dint deserve respect and can be pushed out the way. Or maybe also dint deserve a seat either)
Comparaison about who pays more or you should just pay more (1st class) to be allowed to go in either a toddler etc etc….

And then people will be horrified when they’re left wo support. Or if someone shows them no care or respect.
What did you exoect?

Precisely! ‘Everybody’ trying to get home. Ie not just people that have been at work. Needs must, people generally travel when they need to the most, and that includes families. I frequently come back on a train from Norwich that arrives around 5pm, but I have to get across London to my home from there. Should I just wait it out at Liverpool st station with my small child for a couple hours so as not to inconvenience any business people on the tube? No I will fucking not, we’ve as much right to get home as anyone else has.

Yes, she was, the priority seating area signs clearly depict a person with a baby in arms.

you asked for etiquette so here it is. Again.

You arrive at a station 30 minutes early and lots of people turn up on the platform. At that point, certainly in advance of the train arriving, you collapse the buggy and agree with DH if one of you will leap on to get a seat which they will then give to the other, or if one of you will kind of form a bit of a barrier so the other can get on.

In any case: The buggy should have been folded and it is now clear why people were pushing you. You were faffing to fold it. What was your DH doing all this time?

If you travel in rush hour, the train is going to be rammed, and given that I spend about £3500 pounds a year on my annual London pass i'm not giving way for a toddler and buggy.

@OneNeatBlueOrca if you have an issue with how much you soend on travel take that the your train operator. Or tge government.
The fact you’re using the train more than others, does NOT entitled you to any privileges what so ever.
Nor can you assume that people with children don’t pay the same fees (London pass) than you. They are very likeky to do so anyway. Children doesn’t equal holidays and fun

I’m confused as to what the DH was doing too. 90% of the time I travel with my son alone and have often wondered at how helpful it might be to have my husband with me, but perhaps he’d be of no use at all and I’m better off on my own after all 😂

I don't think southeastern consider a ticket = a seat. I think they consider ticket = journey. Otherwise they'd be in the red with paying back all the people who stand on my commuter train every week.

On the HS1 it's more like 7500 for a yearly season ticket.

Next time, pack drumsticks

That parents with children will be paying too. They’re not going to get a discount.