To think MIL should replace DD's hair products?

[comeandhaveteawithme]

MIL recently took DD away on Holiday, for which I am of course very grateful.

I packed her a hand luggage backpack and a small suitcase. I obviously put any liquids over 150ml in her suitcase, which I was told would be checked into the hold.

Once at the airport, they decided DD's suitcase was small enough to go on as hand luggage so they didn't bother checking it in.

Subsequently, all of DD's hair products were confiscated and thrown away. She has long, thick hair that can be difficult to manage so I buy her certain products that we've tried and tested that work on her hair, the products total about £20. Also confiscated was a bottle of sun cream that costs £7.

We don't have a lot of spare money, and still have four weeks of the Summer Holidays left to go and need any spare cash we have. I can't really spend an extra £27 replacing these products that were almost full when I packed them and have now just been chucked in the bin. My Summer Holiday plans and budget are very carefully calculated. £27 is lunches for the week.

It is reasonable to think MIL should have bought her new stuff? I'm not going to ask her, but should she have replaced them? or AIBU and should just suck it up because she took her away and treated her?
DH just thinks it's all my fault and seems to think it somewhat amusing that I "still don't know liquid rules at airports" 🙄

People often make sacrifices for their children also and spending £27 on hair products knowing how long they will last is one thing. Spending £27 on hair products and someone else entirely deciding not to replace them when they've been removed is the kind of thing that upsets budgets.

Nope I was in that situation for many years.
As you say you allocate money for essentials first, but then put money into an emergency fund before days out etc. In your example this might only be £5 but over a few months it all adds up.
Then in situations like this you have at least a little spare money.

I'm not swimming in money but I do spend £13 a pop on specific swim shampoo for my daughter. If someone put a full tube of that in the bin and didn't replace it, I'm £13 down with no swim shampoo to show for it. It's not difficult to understand the problem.

YES EXACTLY!!

It's about upsetting the budget! Not about being indulgent or wasteful with money.
OP has clearly decided her DD needs these products, she even says they are tried and tested, so not sure why people are suggesting cheaper products when OP has clearly found that works for them, and factored it into her shopping budget. She's not saying she's in poverty, or poor, she's saying every £ is accounted for, that's all. She worked out a budget that works for her.

Now someone has upset that budget.

Thank you for getting it because it's not even my thread but the amount of ignorance is so annoying!

Did you pay for checked in luggage?

Or did you leave it to MIL?

It sounds like nobody paid. If checked in luggage for your DD had been paid in advance then MIL would surely have checked it in.
Sounds like MIL made a snap decision at check in and decided that £50 (guess based on what I just paid) each way was too much to pay for a tiny case with a couple of bottles of shampoo and some suncream.

For cost reasons I don’t think she is unreasonable to throw them away. I also don’t think you should be asking for the money to replace them.

Did the MIL know that the shampoo cost 27 quid?

She took your daughter on holiday. I wouldn't quibble really however skint I was.

Who paid for the holiday? How old is your DD? You should have clarified the luggage situation before the holiday and I’m also surprised your DD didn’t say to her grandmother that she had liquids over 100 ml packed in her bag (unless too young to know/ realise). The hair products should have been placed in another bag that went in the hold - and this should have been discussed and decided beforehand. It’s absolutely not MIL’a fault.

YANBU. MIL didn’t check the bag in so she’s the reason the hair products were thrown away. Her choice so it’s her responsibility to pay for replacements. When you’re on a tight budget that’s a lot of wasted money.

😂

In what works does it sound like "noone paid"?

OP clearly states she was told the luggage would be checked in. So it's quite clear that someone did pay, or told them they had. And so OP packed accordingly.

She also clearly states that a decision not to check the case in was made at the airport.

MIL probably looked at the child's case and decided it wasn't worth the hassle.

When she realised the cost of her mistake, she should have rectified it.

Yes, she was generous to take the grandchild away, and OP states in the very first line that she is grateful, but the fact remains she still cost a family money they weren't expecting to have to pay.

Ok, but your question was
“what is a,b,c hair when it is at home?”

Does your hair change when it’s at home vs. not at home?

And if your budget is that tight and your hair routine is that specific you discuss it all with the relative providing the expensively provided free holiday for your young child before they depart.

Would your MiL not have had to replace the items anyway, if they are away?

But it was discussed abd clarified. OP says she was told the luggage would be checked in and she packed accordingly.
Had she been told it wouldn't be checked in, she probably would have made other plans, decanted into smaller bottles perhaps, or given MIL money to buy at the other end.
It's absolutely a MIL fault because she didn't do what she said she was going to do.

For those hard of understanding, op was told the suitcase, although small, was going in the hold. Dd had a backpack for hand luggage.

Thats annoying and totally not your fault, but as you say op, you can’t really ask her for the money.

OP doesn't state that she didn't discuss it. If she packed the hair products then surely she must have done?

I would not be making a fuss for the sake of £20 quod worth of products. Presumably she was given sunscreen and hair product he to use there and the holiday was paid for. It’s not such a huge sum of money to be worth creating a bad feeling with your MIL. You are making too big a deal out of this.

This. Buy less expensive products in future.

With the MiL? Why do you assume that?

There is no mention of running through the child’s hair care routine or highlighting any costly items which would be entirely standard with a young child even if money wasn’t tight (which the OP hasn’t stated btw).

I dare say that if the OP returns there will have been a full discussion on hair care and price per item and a justgiving page.

If money is that tight, you should be grateful for the amount of money that MIL saved you by taking your daughter on holiday. That's one week of meals (breakfast, lunch and dinners) that you didn't had to provide (not to mention the cost of the holiday itself).

"£27 replacing these products that were almost full when I packed them"

Not the main point of the thread but it drives me nuts when my nieces pack full big bottles of stuff when they won't be needing more than a tiny bit during the trip. I usually decant into small bottles (kept from when hotels supplied tiny bottles) or if I know I have air travel coming up I keep bottles with little bits of the products to use and chuck when away. Same with toothpaste and bars of soap... It seems silly to carry stuff to and fro... Besides I often forget things in bathrooms when packing at the end of holidays.

No you don't. Come on to fuck. The reasonable expectation was that the stuff you put on her case would remain in her case.

Since your DH thinks it's so funny, I'd ask him to identify £27 of savings from his personal budget/items to fund replacements for your DD - so no wine, beer, chocolate, whatever it is that he likes for the rest of the summer holidays.

This for next time. Put a little bit in a small bottle, then it won't matter if they're not returned.

No I don't think it's reasonable to expect the items to be replaced.
Your daughter won't have spent her holiday with no sun cream on. So that was replaced anyway.
Presumably, mil took dd on holiday at significant expense to herself, Flights, hotel, food, drinks, snacks, activities. It'll have cost her £100's taking dd along. You'll have saved money whilst she was away too- no need to pay for dd's food, activities etc during that week, So expecting £20 of items replaced? No I wouldn't.