Page 10 | To think MIL should replace DD's hair products?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/08/2025 23:57

I voted YANBU but simply because I would be so annoyed at your husband!

It sounds like he’s deliberately getting the wrong end of the stick to be annoying!

You obviously can’t ask MIL to replace the products after she generously took your dd on holiday. That would be very ungrateful I think.

Another time I’d have a specific conversation about the liquids - not just “is the case going in the hold” but explain why you’re asking.

MistyMountainTop · 09/08/2025 23:58

You just need to remember this & decant the hair product into smaller bottles in future, even if you think it's being checked in. I would imagine that your MIL doesn't know what it's like to live on a tight budget and is oblivious to how much this has cost you. I'm sorry

Original poster

comeandhaveteawithme · 09/08/2025 23:58

Northbynorthbest · 09/08/2025 23:54

Who paid for the holiday? If it was your mother in law, then you have an unbelievable cheek expecting her to reimburse you £30 odd quid!

Please read my updates. They are literally right there, above your post.

OP posts:

Original poster

comeandhaveteawithme · 10/08/2025 00:03

MistyMountainTop · 09/08/2025 23:58

You just need to remember this & decant the hair product into smaller bottles in future, even if you think it's being checked in. I would imagine that your MIL doesn't know what it's like to live on a tight budget and is oblivious to how much this has cost you. I'm sorry

Thank you, and in future if she is being taken away by anyone other than us, I will.

But I don't think decanting them as a general rule is a particularly reasonable thing to expect people to do, and certainly don't understand the PP who said it annoys her when he nieces bring full-sized bottles. Seems an odd thing to be annoyed about. If you're allowed them in your hold luggage, they're not too heavy and you can spare the space, and plan to bring them back again, then I really don't see the issue nor see any reason to fart about decanting things that don't need decanting. I certainly don't see any reason for it to annoy you when other people do it with their own stuff.

Obviously decanting things you know are going in carry-on luggage is a different matter and an obvious thing to do.

OP posts:

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 10/08/2025 00:03

PringlesTube · 09/08/2025 13:05

Rude.

I think it’s unfair she hasn’t replaced them, doesn’t matter who paid for the holiday, if I had made that decision to throw all her stuff away then I would of course replace them.

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Especially if MIL knew that there were toiletries in DD's suitcase.

Even if MIL didn't it's not rocket science to think 'I need to get DGD some replacements as they got chucked out going through security'

Original poster

comeandhaveteawithme · 10/08/2025 00:06

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 10/08/2025 00:03

Especially if MIL knew that there were toiletries in DD's suitcase.

Even if MIL didn't it's not rocket science to think 'I need to get DGD some replacements as they got chucked out going through security'

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See this is what annoyed me (and I'd like to stress my annoyance is proportional, a mild irritation tbh, I did not expect this to blow up)

I would have thought that seeing the hair products being thrown away, she might have thought "oops, I fucked up there, I better make a stop and get her some more" because it's certainly what I would have done if it were me.

But they didn't even mention it at all. I had to text and ask her where they were and if she had them at her house before she even told me what had happened to them.

OP posts:

Original poster

comeandhaveteawithme · 10/08/2025 00:09

Right, I am off to bed now, please do not bay for my blood if I don't come back until the morning.

OP posts:

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 10/08/2025 00:09

Also I can't understand why some posters are being snippy towards OP.

If I was the MIL then I'd graciously either replace the products or offer the money to replace them without being asked, regardless of whether OP was struggling for money or rolling in it.

You repair or replace whatever has gone missing/thrown out/broken on your watch.
It's called good manners!

MistyMountainTop · 10/08/2025 00:22

comeandhaveteawithme · 10/08/2025 00:03

Thank you, and in future if she is being taken away by anyone other than us, I will.

But I don't think decanting them as a general rule is a particularly reasonable thing to expect people to do, and certainly don't understand the PP who said it annoys her when he nieces bring full-sized bottles. Seems an odd thing to be annoyed about. If you're allowed them in your hold luggage, they're not too heavy and you can spare the space, and plan to bring them back again, then I really don't see the issue nor see any reason to fart about decanting things that don't need decanting. I certainly don't see any reason for it to annoy you when other people do it with their own stuff.

Obviously decanting things you know are going in carry-on luggage is a different matter and an obvious thing to do.

Edited

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Ah, we often used to go away for the weekend (elderly parents a distance away) so always used travel sized or decanted products to take up less room so it's become a habit just to have a travel toiletry bag always filled up.

jbm16 · 10/08/2025 00:30

comeandhaveteawithme · 10/08/2025 00:03

Thank you, and in future if she is being taken away by anyone other than us, I will.

But I don't think decanting them as a general rule is a particularly reasonable thing to expect people to do, and certainly don't understand the PP who said it annoys her when he nieces bring full-sized bottles. Seems an odd thing to be annoyed about. If you're allowed them in your hold luggage, they're not too heavy and you can spare the space, and plan to bring them back again, then I really don't see the issue nor see any reason to fart about decanting things that don't need decanting. I certainly don't see any reason for it to annoy you when other people do it with their own stuff.

Obviously decanting things you know are going in carry-on luggage is a different matter and an obvious thing to do.

Edited

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It doesn't help after the event but think decanting is reasonable thing to do, especially if you aren't going to use the whole bottle whilst away.

We always take smaller travel bottles as also helps with weight and less to carry home.

Pinkissmart · 10/08/2025 01:13

Your husband is a dick.
Cannot believe you think your mil should replace the liquids. Feeding her would have cost more than £27- so you really not out of pocket.

Beenwhereyouareagain · 10/08/2025 02:11

DiscoBob · 09/08/2025 12:44

She bought your daughter a holiday and you want her to pay for products that were thrown away? Did your daughter or you choose to use that suitcase? If so then it's your fault.

I'd be mortified if I was your mum and was asked for £27 above and beyond a holiday that cost many hundreds.

Did you read it or just skim the OP?

"I packed her a hand luggage backpack and a small suitcase. I obviously put any liquids over 150ml in her suitcase, which I was told would be checked into the hold.
Once at the airport, they decided DD's suitcase was small enough to go on as hand luggage so they didn't bother checking it in."

The cream and hair products were packed in a suitcase that was supposed to be checked. @comeandhaveteawithme had no way of knowing it would be treated as a carry-on. She followed directions and obviously understood the regulations.

OP, your DH is an ass!

FreyaW · 10/08/2025 02:27

comeandhaveteawithme · 09/08/2025 12:40

MIL recently took DD away on Holiday, for which I am of course very grateful.

I packed her a hand luggage backpack and a small suitcase. I obviously put any liquids over 150ml in her suitcase, which I was told would be checked into the hold.

Once at the airport, they decided DD's suitcase was small enough to go on as hand luggage so they didn't bother checking it in.

Subsequently, all of DD's hair products were confiscated and thrown away. She has long, thick hair that can be difficult to manage so I buy her certain products that we've tried and tested that work on her hair, the products total about £20. Also confiscated was a bottle of sun cream that costs £7.

We don't have a lot of spare money, and still have four weeks of the Summer Holidays left to go and need any spare cash we have. I can't really spend an extra £27 replacing these products that were almost full when I packed them and have now just been chucked in the bin. My Summer Holiday plans and budget are very carefully calculated. £27 is lunches for the week.

It is reasonable to think MIL should have bought her new stuff? I'm not going to ask her, but should she have replaced them? or AIBU and should just suck it up because she took her away and treated her?
DH just thinks it's all my fault and seems to think it somewhat amusing that I "still don't know liquid rules at airports" 🙄

Let it slide. You can replace the products..you dont need to buy them all at once. Also..find cheaper products, big brands aren't necessarily better.

Oaktopus · 10/08/2025 02:57

I'd be mortified if I was the MIL in this situation and would want to replace the products.

Fireflybaby · 10/08/2025 06:37

Were you told the luggage will be checked in or you assumed it will be checked in?
I'm asking because these days you have to pay extra for checked in luggage for most airlines and thus you would know in advance and not much of an option to change your mind without losing money.

Fireflybaby · 10/08/2025 06:43

comeandhaveteawithme · 10/08/2025 00:06

See this is what annoyed me (and I'd like to stress my annoyance is proportional, a mild irritation tbh, I did not expect this to blow up)

I would have thought that seeing the hair products being thrown away, she might have thought "oops, I fucked up there, I better make a stop and get her some more" because it's certainly what I would have done if it were me.

But they didn't even mention it at all. I had to text and ask her where they were and if she had them at her house before she even told me what had happened to them.

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So how did MIL looked after DDs hair while on holiday?

IntoTheFringe · 10/08/2025 07:03

Fireflybaby · 10/08/2025 06:37

Were you told the luggage will be checked in or you assumed it will be checked in?
I'm asking because these days you have to pay extra for checked in luggage for most airlines and thus you would know in advance and not much of an option to change your mind without losing money.

"I was clearly verbally told the luggage was going to be checked in."

From the OP's update.

IntoTheFringe · 10/08/2025 07:09

Someonelookedatmypostinghistorysoichanged · 09/08/2025 22:47

this is wacko. Grow the f up, it’s annoying at the most, your dd went on holiday. You put your mil in a difficult situation by sending all that liquids, she should be annoyed.

"A difficult situation"??! 😂😂😂 She packed some hair products for her daughter to use on holiday. This is a perfectly normal thing to do. How nice it must be to live a life where this would be considered difficult...

IntoTheFringe · 10/08/2025 07:11

Fireflybaby · 10/08/2025 06:43

So how did MIL looked after DDs hair while on holiday?

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"She didn't use any styling products and as a result, her hair looks crazy in all the photos and was very wild and tangled when she arrived home, but no big deal as long as she had fun."

She didn't.

winterwarmer8274 · 10/08/2025 07:34

With the update this is just a really unfortunate accident.

MIL sounds like she was trying to do a nice thing and wasn’t aware of the hair products in the luggage when she didn’t check it in. Then it would have been too late by the time they were at security.

Does she have any idea how much they would have cost? Perhaps she doesn’t realise how much they’re worth and is thinking it’s more of a £5 loss than a £20 loss?

She also won’t know how much was left. If some of the products were half full etc.

So yeah, it’s a shame stuff got thrown away and I would be annoyed, but I wouldn’t be excepting MIL to replace.

ps sounds like your DD had a fantastic holiday!!

TheBobGalbraith · 10/08/2025 07:39

If I was MIL and saw them confiscating her products I would have replaced them without question.

Hercisback1 · 10/08/2025 07:50

£27 on hair styling products for a 9yo is crazy. Perhaps find cheaper alternatives?

OneNeatBlueOrca · 10/08/2025 07:51

Hercisback1 · 10/08/2025 07:50

£27 on hair styling products for a 9yo is crazy. Perhaps find cheaper alternatives?

Or cut her hair if it's that long that it's unmanageable.

diddl · 10/08/2025 08:24

It was not checked in because DD had a beautiful new Laura Ashely suitcase, bought by my mum (again, very generous) that she was very attached to and didn't want to hand over and MIL decided to indulge her and let her keep it with her.

Well you call it indulge, maybe MIL thought it was not upsetting her GD just before they got on a flight?

MistressRoydon · 10/08/2025 08:40

as a GM if it was me I would have replaced DD products if nothing else to make her feel comfortable.