Can my assets be used in new partners divorce?

[littlebitpanicky]

I have been seeing a man for almost a year now and he has recently moved in with me, I know it’s fast but he’s been separated a while, she left him before I met him and he was living separately in rented accommodation.

He is going to be getting divorced soon and I’m wondering if because he’s living with me in my house, will my house and assets be taken into consideration when the divorce goes through?
It’s early days in the relationship and I don’t want him to lose everything because of me.
He is still paying a mortgage for the family home where his ex and children are living but was hoping to sell the home and use his half the money along with my home to put towards a bigger house.
I don’t have any children and own mine outright.
Has he shot himself in the foot by moving in with me?

Another bloke who can’t provide a house for himself and his children! Has to locate another woman, who just so happens to have her own house with space in her bed for him and a room for his kids. How very coincidental. What’s that saying - ‘no one falls in love faster than….’

I have experienced this...Assets are his and the ex wife, during their marriage , nothing to do with you. Please do not worry about this, aslong as his name is not on your mortgage etc, as you have said; The ex isn't allowed to take anything belonging to you.

Nobody said they were allowed to take anything belonging to OP. However, she’s housing him, so his needs will be seen to be met, thus likely reducing his “half” because his ex has to house herself and the children. It does matter and OP should have kept herself and their relationship separate until the divorce was finalised.

Correct. But the fact that he's sharing his housing ie has a roof provided for him and that his cost of living are shared (utilities etc) this will be taken into account when calculations are made. So he will get potentially proportionally less of the joint pot because he "needs" less because he's got access to housing etc

Yes.

you should leave separately until it is all settled. Talk to a solicitor.

This.

Wouldn't his wife have a right to live in the house until the children are at least 18? This could be an option instead of child support. I can't see the court making them homeless when his housing needs are met.

The ex wife will get more than 50% as your boyfriend's housing needs are met. Also its easier for her to keep house until youngest child is 18. Your own personal assets are not a consideration.

Not automatically. If there is equity in the marital home that can be shared to house both parties and dependent children, with one or both parties obtaining an affordable mortgage, then the court can agree the property should be sold.

There is no automatic right for the parent providing residency to keep the marital home.

Essentially what is likely to happen is that an actuarial report might be required to establish the asset ‘pot’ and to calculate a recommended share according to an overall equitable split of assets.

But is it flawed? A bit of googling and an initial no-charge talk with a solicitor will soon tell you it’s better to do this methodically, even if common sense doesn’t. It’s part of a process - the court hearing is not suddenly sprung upon you! If someone wants to move on quickly, then that’s the price they pay. You would think there would be discussions with the new partner regarding the future - financial and practical (including proper space for the children to live). Up to them but then those circumstances are taken into account. Not the (usually) woman’s fault when their stbx does it arse about face, though in my experience it prolonged the divorce process. At least my husband wasn’t stupid enough to not have done his Form E before moving in with new woman. Patience is my middle name 😂

To be fair the fact that he’s living with the o/p is irrelevant.

whether he’s renting, living with parents, or the o/p his housing needs are met.

the only way he’s have got more equity would have been to stay put in the family home until the financial settlement. Then the court has to make sure it can house both, as they can’t kick one out and make them homeless.

the minute he moved out and had somewhere else to live meant the court won’t force his ex to move out and leave her potentially homeless to pay him 50%. So he’ll get anything left after her affordability for housing is calculated.

Yes and no. I mean it certainly hasn’t helped him that’s for sure, you absolutely should have waited until the divorce was finalised. But it’s not about your assets, he has no claim on those.

Whether it has any impact depends on what the parenting arrangements are, whether it’s reasonable for the children to stay at your home, what his needs are, what his ex-wife’s needs are, etc.

Consult an experienced solicitor, this won’t be an unusual situation. Although fairly typical of the man to make a mistake like this, women are much more effective at gold-digging.

Some years ago in Australia, my DH went through this. The other party tried to have my assets included as their joint assets and my wage details were ordered to be presented in court. The Judge disregarded all of that (major invasion of my privacy too) but child support reviewed his case and because he stayed with me part time, boarded elsewhere during the working week, they decided he had the ability to pay more CS then the calculator provided for!

since then, we have encouraged friends who have separated to get the financials sorted out before meeting someone new, for this very reason.

just because one party might not want their spouse, it can be they also don’t want their spouse to find happiness with someone else and it comes as a bit of a shock they do…

Yes! My ex and I both had to declare whether we are living with or planning to live with a partner in our financial agreement.
If he is living with you your house can be taken into consideration!
Buy a rent book and draw up a rent agreement - you can keep it low for tax purposes but he has to be your lodger…. Don’t have his name on ANY bills….
not internet, or anything!
Seek independent legal advice!
If he’s living with you seemingly rent free he may be deemed as not needing as much equity as she does!

Please be careful! Not saying he is, but no one falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs somewhere to live!
You need to ask yourself if he’s live bombing you!,,,,, are there any red flags?… etc… I hope not and wish you well but also just a bit of a warning x

He didn't have to leave his job for long periods of time to care for them, and she's only been working weekends, while spending the majority of her time as a caregiver for their children. His salary was at least 1/2 hers.

Get him to rent a cheap studio and use that as the address.

How does working ft stop him having the kids a couple of evenings a week? Plenty of divorced parents work ft. You don't stop being a parent because you work.

You come across as quite naive. He has the important job but she just works weekends. She is looking after his kids enabling him to work. He has a responsibility to house his own children. If you think he's going to get 50% of the marital home and put that into a shared property with you, where does he think the children are going to live with their mother with only 50% of the money and just a weekend job?

Those berating the guy for not having his own housing sorted with room for the kids - he’s still paying some/all of the mortgage on the FMH. Given that he works weekdays and she works weekends, I would guess that, as a couple, their joint income wasn’t huge and so the set up maximised income and minimised child care costs. In this scenario, and many others, few couples could afford rent for a 2/3 bed place on top of the mortgage for long.

Has he moved in too fast? Yes, IMO. But the economics are tricky all round.

So if their set up has been that she takes care of the kids and eorks part time at weekends so he is free to work full time. He will probably have to pay some spousal maintenance on top of child maintenance so that the children's routine isn't disrupted. Affordability check will probably come back with the fact that he is housed and they probably won't t be able to sell the house till the children are 18 if she can afford to remain in it herself. He's already counted his chickens before they've hatched. Would he really try too sell house and potentially leave children homeless?

I'm not berating him for not being totally sorted yet. I'm berating him for moving in with his short term girlfriend and making plans for what to do her equity when he's still married and would still be under warranty if he were a vacuum cleaner.

@ThatCyanCat it was a general point, not a response to you or any specific poster.

Two of my female friends divorced their husbands, both had two children each and were residential parents, yet both had to sell up their house and split 50/50 as per court decision. It's not a given that the residential parent gets more....

Thats unusual though in my experience. Probably there were other assets, pension pots etc. But most of my friends who divorced got the lion share of the house (in the absence of other valuable assets).

Were those friends in FT employment?