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Original poster

Can my assets be used in new partners divorce?

152 replies

littlebitpanicky · 09/08/2025 12:17

I have been seeing a man for almost a year now and he has recently moved in with me, I know it’s fast but he’s been separated a while, she left him before I met him and he was living separately in rented accommodation.

He is going to be getting divorced soon and I’m wondering if because he’s living with me in my house, will my house and assets be taken into consideration when the divorce goes through?
It’s early days in the relationship and I don’t want him to lose everything because of me.
He is still paying a mortgage for the family home where his ex and children are living but was hoping to sell the home and use his half the money along with my home to put towards a bigger house.
I don’t have any children and own mine outright.
Has he shot himself in the foot by moving in with me?

OP posts:
Poopeepoopee · 09/08/2025 13:37

I agree with other posters it will go down as him having his housing needs met.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 09/08/2025 13:38

It is based on need. He already has housing so he doesn't have that need.

perfectstorm · 09/08/2025 13:43

If he's intending for his children's home to be sold, so he can take half, combine it with your outright owned equity, and buy something bigger.... where is he intending his children to live, when with their mum? What is his plan to house them suitably?

He has them every weekend (or every other weekend?) so their primary carer is their mum, and that house is their home. The primary goal of the court will be to suitably house the children, and then the adults, in that order. He's going to be entitled to some of the marital pot, and quite rightly, but if he thinks that some will be half he needs to speak to a solicitor as soon as possible, because I very much doubt he's correct unless the ex has a trust fund or something.

QuarkQuarkPoshDuck · 09/08/2025 13:54

@littlebitpanicky no your assets wont be used, but his circumstances will be.

His wife is the primary carer and the kids need a roof over their head so it could be that the house wont get sold until the kids turn 18.

Why did they split up?

rwalker · 09/08/2025 14:01

He needs to say it’s temporary as he can’t afford to house himself as he’s still paying a mortgage for a house he doesn’t live in and he’s with you rent free till he can get some equity from the house to be able to house himself

millymollymoomoo · 09/08/2025 14:03

You will be asked to provide details. You can refuse

however the fact he is now considered adequately housed will reduce his needs k the marital pot !

💯 he should not live in until it’s all sorted and he has consent order

Gettingbysomehow · 09/08/2025 14:05

No of course not none of your assets can be counted, you aren't even married.

CreteBound · 09/08/2025 14:37

So he’s bird nesting and staying in the family home at weekends? Whats his plan if he buys with you? To carry on invading his ex’s space every weekend?

why are the women in his life doing all the work? When does he plan to provide a space his kids come to?

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/08/2025 15:28

Honestly OP, completely separately, it sounds like you could do a lot better, and should at least ask him to move out until he’s gotten his divorce and post-divorce financial status sorted. This man isn’t even divorced yet, and has a messy financial situation ahead of him. You’ve not even known him a year, this is meant to be the carefree, honeymoon part of the relationship - why the rush to have him move in with you? It sounds like you’ve got your life and finances sorted, and you’re childfree: do you really want to lose every weekend to step parenting the kids of a bloke you’ve not even known a year?

WhattheFudgeareyouonabout · 09/08/2025 15:45

PicaK · 09/08/2025 12:19

He needs to rethink his getting 50% of the marital assets and more what's fair for the children

Exactly- are you seriously thinking this is a good man?

WhattheFudgeareyouonabout · 09/08/2025 15:49

littlebitpanicky · 09/08/2025 12:57

He doesn’t have his kids 50/50 he works full time and she works just weekends so he has them then which is what they’ve always done.
He isn’t freeloading he’s contributing fairly.

So she works around childcare… she plans her life around her kids. Funny it’s always the women sacrificing while the men get to continue their life as normal.

Diarygirlqueen · 09/08/2025 15:53

@WhattheFudgeareyouonabout totally agree.
'Works just weekends' you seem to be implying she's a lazy arse while he works full time.
Where does he look after his children? I don't see you mentioning it in your post.

cestlavielife · 09/08/2025 15:54

Why do you need a bigger house with him? To house his kids ? Or are you planning kids with him? Wait til you have them....
Stick with your house in your name only..

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 09/08/2025 15:57

CreteBound · 09/08/2025 12:24

Is he paying you rent OP or freeloading?

The word I believe you're looking for is cocklodging...

bumbaloo · 09/08/2025 15:58

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/08/2025 12:20

Your assets won’t be a consideration, from a legal standpoint he’s just a boyfriend and not financially connected to you. But the fact that his housing needs have been met by moving in with you may well be taken into account when considering the equity share in the house sale.

ETA: Half the marital assets is just a starting point in pretty much any divorce settlement. Unless he and his ex agree something amicably between themselves, the split will ultimately be decided based on their financial positions, and who is the main carer for the children and has to house them.

Edited

I find this so odd. Financial split in a divorce is permanent. How is a short term or ‘right now’ housing situation taken into account when splitting assets?
a new relationship could end any day.

ImogenBrocklehurst · 09/08/2025 15:59

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 09/08/2025 12:40

I bet he's paid all of or the majority of the mortgage all these years but now won't even get 50%

Wow, that’s a conclusion you’ve leapt straight back to 1953 to reach.

Dontbeme · 09/08/2025 16:01

use his half the money along with my home to put towards a bigger house

Why would YOU put your home at risk after dating for twelve months? I've crap in my freezer longer than that. Also he's not your partner, he's currently still her husband.

Holdonforsummer · 09/08/2025 16:06

My friend lost out significantly in her divorce as she had already moved her new man into the joint house (the divorce dragged on for a while). Meanwhile her ex-husband had got together with a corporate lawyer and they lived separately until the divorce went through. He rinsed my friend and then bought a huge house with his lawyer girlfriend as soon as the divorce was settled. Beware.

Glowingup · 09/08/2025 16:33

Your assets won’t be at risk. But others are correct that it could be seen as his housing needs being met as he lives rent free with you. However, he has lived with you under a year and it’s a new relationship so he has a good case for saying it’s temporary.

But seriously, you’re together under a year and you’re already contemplating buying a house with this dude? Have you even met his kids? You have a mortgage free house. Do not sell it and buy somewhere with him. Keep your own assets separate. Otherwise I can guarantee you will regret it. Keep living with him by all means but it’s not your responsibility to help fund his house purchase.

1457bloom · 09/08/2025 16:35

He has messed up, big time.

Glowingup · 09/08/2025 16:39

bumbaloo · 09/08/2025 15:58

I find this so odd. Financial split in a divorce is permanent. How is a short term or ‘right now’ housing situation taken into account when splitting assets?
a new relationship could end any day.

Show quote history

In all honesty it won’t make much difference and you’re totally right - it’s a new relationship. The welfare of the children is the first consideration of the court so the priority is for them to have somewhere to live with their primary carer, ie mum. Dad will get what is left if it’s a modest asset needs-case with not enough to go around. So I don’t think it will make a great deal of difference for the OP’s DP who he lives with. Loads of divorced men live with their parents for instance.

Glowingup · 09/08/2025 16:39

1457bloom · 09/08/2025 16:35

He has messed up, big time.

Don’t be melodramatic. No he hasn’t.

Beyondburnout · 09/08/2025 16:40

Squishymallows · 09/08/2025 13:13

He may be seen as having his housing needs met

His housing needs are met.

JHound · 09/08/2025 16:40

You should seek legal advice. It seems stupid to me that your assets would be included but the law is often an ass. He should move out till the divorce is final.

JHound · 09/08/2025 16:43

CreteBound · 09/08/2025 12:24

How is he having proper contact with his kids if he’s living in your house? He can’t be doing 50/50?

Sounds like his ex will need a greater share of assets as main parents

Maybe that’s why he wants his half of the assets- so he can get a place suitable for shared custody.

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