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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday and I don’t know if I’m unreasonable!

642 replies

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 15:01

I’m really hoping for some perspective here. We are currently in Spain with my friends for a holiday. It’s us ( myself, DH and DC 14,16 ) and my friends ( Kate, Neil, DC 14,17) obviously names are changed. Kate was my friend for a few years through the activities. They invited us for a holiday with them. We booked two different villas about 5min walk from each other and right on the beach. Since we got here, Kate and my DH are spending more and more time together. This is our full third day here, and so far today, they met running at 7am and booked a spontaneous paddle boarding for themselves at 10am. We were all on the beach later and went for a lunch. I went back to the villa to get some plasters and they both turned up. My DH said he is changing his top as he and Kate will walk to the town to get a few bits. All of the DC are spending their time on the beach learning windsurfing with the local club so I don’t need DH to help with childcare. Kate’s husband Neil has a work project to do so he spends about 5 hours a day working in their villa. I’m starting to feel like a 3rd wheel to my friend and my DH. I’m getting grumpy when I’m around them and I don’t want to push him away but I don’t know how to get out of this mood. And another thing which got me thinking is at the dinner, Kate asked for a sparkling water and my DH said he wants some too. He never drank fucking sparkling water but when I pulled him on it, he said it’s because I only drink a still water so he did too. So for years you were drinking still water because of me? Have a sparkling water if you want! Something is feeling odd and I can’t put my finger on it

OP posts:
Overandoveradnauseum · 08/08/2025 10:05

ButteredRadish · 08/08/2025 10:02

Well the troll hunters have ruined this thread as usual!

I wish MN would take the thread down because it's a farce when so many pp are openly ridiculing it whilst others are genuinely trying to give advice.

Clychaugog · 08/08/2025 10:09

Or he likes running and paddle boarding and his wife doesn't?

ForeveraBluebird · 08/08/2025 10:18

Checking this thread this morning and it seems to have gone off tangent slightly .

Americano75 · 08/08/2025 10:29

I really hope this is real, so many posters sharing their own very real and painful experiences to support the OP in good faith.

MrsMitford3 · 08/08/2025 10:50

AzureCats · 07/08/2025 23:18

Dang I was hooked until I realised that between shitting your holiday bed and posting on mumsnet would usually take more than 20 minutes to sort out. Then the boat murder is straight out of Ripley.

It felt like someone nicked her phone and posted the "sheet" incident.

Jumping the shark now...

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 10:52

MrsMitford3 · 08/08/2025 10:50

It felt like someone nicked her phone and posted the "sheet" incident.

Jumping the shark now...

Yes, that’ll be the rational explanation.

ColumboOnTheCase · 08/08/2025 10:58

MyLimeGuide · 08/08/2025 09:45

Can we have an update please OP? even if its fabricated we need this!!!

I second this 😂

thenightsky · 08/08/2025 11:02

BrokenWingsCantFly · 08/08/2025 00:57

He didn't tell you about the boat trip as it was likely they were going alone straight from their morning run. She got scared she wouldn't get the chance to slip off with him after your message so made out like you was invited all along.

Time to get firm. He shouldn't be making plans and solo memories with her. Tell him straight he is taking the piss and the kids are picking up on it. It's embarrassing at the very least for them to be behaving like love struck, desperate teenagers

Exactly this. You weren't meant to find out about the boat trip until it was over. Bit like that lunch.

PumpkinSpicePie · 08/08/2025 11:08

I wanted to know what would happen next.

heldinadream · 08/08/2025 11:22

I'm still laughing at 'HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FINGER?'
I've rarely seen such a succinct, genius, and pertinent retort.
Does it make all the time I waste on Mumsnet worthwhile? No.
Am I back for more?
Yes.😂

PumpkinSpicePie · 08/08/2025 11:23

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 08/08/2025 00:35

I've always said, the best way to win your husband back when he's had his head turned by a sun-kissed, bikini-clad MILF hottie, is to take a massive shit in your bed and let him clean it up. He'll be absolutely frothing with desire for you, probably desperate to take you there and then, the shit covered sheets adding only more fuel to the frenzy of passion. Planning your flight home and a divorce? Just take a mega-shite and your marriage is saved - Hurrah! Hot MILF will be a mere memory.

Edited

😂

99bottlesofkombucha · 08/08/2025 11:27

Clychaugog · 08/08/2025 10:09

Or he likes running and paddle boarding and his wife doesn't?

Or she does, but is rehabilitating, since that’s what she says in the thread, and instead of sympathy at his wife missing out on activities she enjoys he’s just decided to be an asshole instead?

AngelicKaty · 08/08/2025 11:47

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 22:41

So after changing the sheets, I thought we are going to be ok. We can laugh about the unfortunate events but we are ok. In the mean time while all of this was happening, Kate texted back saying that her and my DH booked the boat for tomorrow ( for all of us ). I felt so stupid that my DH forgot to tell me about that! Anyway, the boat is ‘drive yourself’ as it’s only for four people. Neil is working and DCs are windsurfing. If I end up on that fucking boat with Kate and my DH tomorrow, only one person is coming back🤣

Sorry to read about your dodgy tum last night OP, but glad to hear that your DH seems to have remembered who he's married to and you had a laugh. 😊 Hope you have a better day today, on all levels, but just remember; if Kate's still no better behaved, ensure you're a long way from shore before you push her in ... 😂) xx

Nearly50omg · 08/08/2025 12:42

she can cancel the boat trip/change the date to when it can be her and her husband etc but make it clear to her that you and your husband won’t be on it and make it clear to him that if he wants to have a family and a home to come back to after this holiday that his behavior with this woman stops now! I’d also ask for his phone to read the messages between them and also not let him have any notice. If he refuses to hand it over straight away you know he’s either already not deleted the messages or there’s something suss on it

Soontobesingles · 08/08/2025 12:53

Absolutely fuck that boat trip OP. She can go with her own husband.

Sabrinaspellman01 · 08/08/2025 13:11

jumpintheline · 07/08/2025 22:56

I need to know what happens on this boat 🍿

Me too!

Juststop2025 · 08/08/2025 13:26

They're fucking. I'm so sorry.

Juststop2025 · 08/08/2025 13:30

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 22:41

So after changing the sheets, I thought we are going to be ok. We can laugh about the unfortunate events but we are ok. In the mean time while all of this was happening, Kate texted back saying that her and my DH booked the boat for tomorrow ( for all of us ). I felt so stupid that my DH forgot to tell me about that! Anyway, the boat is ‘drive yourself’ as it’s only for four people. Neil is working and DCs are windsurfing. If I end up on that fucking boat with Kate and my DH tomorrow, only one person is coming back🤣

Oh dear. Well, if you're cool with him disrespecting and humiliating you and fucking another woman (or at the bare minimum making it clear he'd love to) while on a family holiday because he offered you a crumb of kindness, then ok.

Juststop2025 · 08/08/2025 13:31

Nearly50omg · 08/08/2025 12:42

she can cancel the boat trip/change the date to when it can be her and her husband etc but make it clear to her that you and your husband won’t be on it and make it clear to him that if he wants to have a family and a home to come back to after this holiday that his behavior with this woman stops now! I’d also ask for his phone to read the messages between them and also not let him have any notice. If he refuses to hand it over straight away you know he’s either already not deleted the messages or there’s something suss on it

Absolutely this, re the phone. And he will definitely say no.

Bearlionfalcon · 08/08/2025 13:33
Fire Island Bowen Yang GIF by Searchlight Pictures

Sorry but I think you should go on the boat, because I also need to know what happens on the boat

WheresthesaladTheresthesalad · 08/08/2025 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Spindrifts · 08/08/2025 14:07

I think the OP may have deserted us. No updates since yesterday it would appear.

thenightsky · 08/08/2025 14:16

OP must still be out on that boat.

MrsMitford3 · 08/08/2025 14:16

I think Kate pushed her overboard to be eaten by sharks and she and OP's DH sailing off into the sunset leaving Neil to look after all 4 DC.
He may not notice...

VintageJewellery · 08/08/2025 14:20

I think OP probably has quite a complicated negotiation going on. Maybe she'll come back later.