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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday and I don’t know if I’m unreasonable!

642 replies

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 15:01

I’m really hoping for some perspective here. We are currently in Spain with my friends for a holiday. It’s us ( myself, DH and DC 14,16 ) and my friends ( Kate, Neil, DC 14,17) obviously names are changed. Kate was my friend for a few years through the activities. They invited us for a holiday with them. We booked two different villas about 5min walk from each other and right on the beach. Since we got here, Kate and my DH are spending more and more time together. This is our full third day here, and so far today, they met running at 7am and booked a spontaneous paddle boarding for themselves at 10am. We were all on the beach later and went for a lunch. I went back to the villa to get some plasters and they both turned up. My DH said he is changing his top as he and Kate will walk to the town to get a few bits. All of the DC are spending their time on the beach learning windsurfing with the local club so I don’t need DH to help with childcare. Kate’s husband Neil has a work project to do so he spends about 5 hours a day working in their villa. I’m starting to feel like a 3rd wheel to my friend and my DH. I’m getting grumpy when I’m around them and I don’t want to push him away but I don’t know how to get out of this mood. And another thing which got me thinking is at the dinner, Kate asked for a sparkling water and my DH said he wants some too. He never drank fucking sparkling water but when I pulled him on it, he said it’s because I only drink a still water so he did too. So for years you were drinking still water because of me? Have a sparkling water if you want! Something is feeling odd and I can’t put my finger on it

OP posts:
Annabellouise · 07/08/2025 23:59

Kate must have been the only yabu vote.

tipsyraven · 08/08/2025 00:01

Tell your DH to cancel the boat trip and spend the day with you. Kate can find something else to do and someone else to do it with.

sheknowsitstoolate · 08/08/2025 00:02

Text back and tell Kate she’s doing the boat trip on her own.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/08/2025 00:04

Mumofnarnia · 07/08/2025 22:50

I would tell Kate that your DH won’t be coming as you’ve already told her that you’d like to spend time with your DH and dc as a family and that her and your DH have had ample time together and you are not having your whole holiday being taken over by plans that were made without consulting you first.

This. With Bells on.

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:04

I think she is some CF telling you what will be happening tomorrow.
I honestly cannot fathom all this making of arrangements and you not being consulted in any way.
Most unusual in a marriage, with a supposed stranger he met 3 days ago.

I think I would be putting a very PA message in the group that includes her husband.

As for your husband, huge ICK.

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:06

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/08/2025 00:04

This. With Bells on.

In the WhatsApp that includes her husband.

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 00:08

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:04

I think she is some CF telling you what will be happening tomorrow.
I honestly cannot fathom all this making of arrangements and you not being consulted in any way.
Most unusual in a marriage, with a supposed stranger he met 3 days ago.

I think I would be putting a very PA message in the group that includes her husband.

As for your husband, huge ICK.

Edited

Why is everyone assuming it’s true that they only met 3 days ago?

3petitpois · 08/08/2025 00:09

No way would I stand for this….you are being far too polite OP. Tell Kate to back off and if she wants to go on that boat trip tell HER HUSBAND to go with her!

BunnyVV · 08/08/2025 00:11

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thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 00:13

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So cynical. That was the most romantic bit. ❤️

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:16

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 00:08

Why is everyone assuming it’s true that they only met 3 days ago?

Because the OP mentioned a 3 day connection in her post at 22.10.......keep up😁.

He's some twat and posters are correct she's probably playing with OP's husband as her marriage isn't great.

She is certainly not any friend to OP.
Her name would be shit when I would get home.

Ops husband is a creepy sleaze sniffing around her, particularly in front of his children.

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 00:19

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:16

Because the OP mentioned a 3 day connection in her post at 22.10.......keep up😁.

He's some twat and posters are correct she's probably playing with OP's husband as her marriage isn't great.

She is certainly not any friend to OP.
Her name would be shit when I would get home.

Ops husband is a creepy sleaze sniffing around her, particularly in front of his children.

Yes but, the OP has been completely bamboozled hasn’t she, thinking she’s got it all worked out.

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 08/08/2025 00:35

I've always said, the best way to win your husband back when he's had his head turned by a sun-kissed, bikini-clad MILF hottie, is to take a massive shit in your bed and let him clean it up. He'll be absolutely frothing with desire for you, probably desperate to take you there and then, the shit covered sheets adding only more fuel to the frenzy of passion. Planning your flight home and a divorce? Just take a mega-shite and your marriage is saved - Hurrah! Hot MILF will be a mere memory.

Crazyworldmum · 08/08/2025 00:45

Personally I would book 1 or 2 days of activities with just your husband . If he gets annoyed he is leaving Kate behind then you are in trouble

BrokenWingsCantFly · 08/08/2025 00:57

He didn't tell you about the boat trip as it was likely they were going alone straight from their morning run. She got scared she wouldn't get the chance to slip off with him after your message so made out like you was invited all along.

Time to get firm. He shouldn't be making plans and solo memories with her. Tell him straight he is taking the piss and the kids are picking up on it. It's embarrassing at the very least for them to be behaving like love struck, desperate teenagers

SmartDog · 08/08/2025 00:59

Plantaineater · 07/08/2025 22:58

I'm only here for the next episode in this gripping story...the boat trip

Maybe OP will try water skiing on the boat trip and literally jump the shark, instead of just doing it figuratively like so many posters do in these unbelievable stories.

MeTooOverHere · 08/08/2025 01:03

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 08/08/2025 00:35

I've always said, the best way to win your husband back when he's had his head turned by a sun-kissed, bikini-clad MILF hottie, is to take a massive shit in your bed and let him clean it up. He'll be absolutely frothing with desire for you, probably desperate to take you there and then, the shit covered sheets adding only more fuel to the frenzy of passion. Planning your flight home and a divorce? Just take a mega-shite and your marriage is saved - Hurrah! Hot MILF will be a mere memory.

Edited

WTF have I missed?

SmartDog · 08/08/2025 01:04

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It seemed so real before that???

PreciousTatas · 08/08/2025 01:08

Very elaborate intro to a poo troll I must say. Bravo!

Had me going there for a little while.

SmartDog · 08/08/2025 01:14

PreciousTatas · 08/08/2025 01:08

Very elaborate intro to a poo troll I must say. Bravo!

Had me going there for a little while.

Maybe he has been on a creative writing course?

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 01:15

SmartDog · 08/08/2025 01:04

It seemed so real before that???

🤣

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 01:18

SmartDog · 08/08/2025 01:14

Maybe he has been on a creative writing course?

Could be a team effort.

Huhuhuhu39272 · 08/08/2025 01:24

Just a couple of narcissists getting a kick out of doing it in plain sight really

Glad you’re on your way out. This one’s trashy.

Sidelined101 · 08/08/2025 01:27

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 07/08/2025 23:25

I feel sorry for Kate, she sounds lonely and unloved and now she’s going to die? 😨

lol.
😂
I had loads I wanted to share on this thread but now I feel…
so…
all at sea ?

Clarefromwork · 08/08/2025 01:28

Ah, I’m in the fiction section.