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AIBU?

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Original poster

On holiday and I don’t know if I’m unreasonable!

642 replies

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 15:01

I’m really hoping for some perspective here. We are currently in Spain with my friends for a holiday. It’s us ( myself, DH and DC 14,16 ) and my friends ( Kate, Neil, DC 14,17) obviously names are changed. Kate was my friend for a few years through the activities. They invited us for a holiday with them. We booked two different villas about 5min walk from each other and right on the beach. Since we got here, Kate and my DH are spending more and more time together. This is our full third day here, and so far today, they met running at 7am and booked a spontaneous paddle boarding for themselves at 10am. We were all on the beach later and went for a lunch. I went back to the villa to get some plasters and they both turned up. My DH said he is changing his top as he and Kate will walk to the town to get a few bits. All of the DC are spending their time on the beach learning windsurfing with the local club so I don’t need DH to help with childcare. Kate’s husband Neil has a work project to do so he spends about 5 hours a day working in their villa. I’m starting to feel like a 3rd wheel to my friend and my DH. I’m getting grumpy when I’m around them and I don’t want to push him away but I don’t know how to get out of this mood. And another thing which got me thinking is at the dinner, Kate asked for a sparkling water and my DH said he wants some too. He never drank fucking sparkling water but when I pulled him on it, he said it’s because I only drink a still water so he did too. So for years you were drinking still water because of me? Have a sparkling water if you want! Something is feeling odd and I can’t put my finger on it

OP posts:
Original poster
SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 22:10

ChamelalaBingBong · 07/08/2025 21:43

What's your husband like usually?
What is Kate like usually? What is the group dynamic usually like if you meet up as couples, or families?

Because to be honest, it sounds like Kate is making a play for your husband, and, it sounds like your husband is, at best, enjoying his ego being stroked, and encouraging that attention, and at worst, engaging in an affair, or at very least, an emotional affair.

Has Neil picked up on any of thi s, at all, to your knowledge?

OP, they sound like a pair of cunts, and I hope you fuck them both off when you get home!

My DH enjoyes having his ego stroked. But him and Kate don’t have any history. She is my friend and he only met her a few times with her DH. There was literally nothing to be suspicious about and that’s why it did throw me a bit. How can it be nothing, to the point I’m jealous or embarrassed by their friendship which is only 3 days long?

OP posts:
Victoria39 · 07/08/2025 22:11

TheBewleySisters · 07/08/2025 15:44

You're being too passive here. When they said they were going to the shop for a few bits, you should have said 'good idea, hang on, let me get my bag' and then GO WITH THEM.

I find that odd in that they would even of gone shopping together. The normal format would be two females or a couple to go shopping.

🚩🚩🚩🚩

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 07/08/2025 22:11

And it’s a wrap!

NimbleDreamer · 07/08/2025 22:12

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Victoria39 · 07/08/2025 22:14

Namechangerage · 07/08/2025 20:18

This!

Show quote history

I know. So many people feel they have to do everything together all the time ! Gives me the ick! Time apart is also good … it’s like when I go bra shopping I see men standing and blocking that section. It’s surplus to requirement’s… They don’t need to be there. They don’t want to be there. 🙄

Victoria39 · 07/08/2025 22:17

BBQBertha · 07/08/2025 20:02

Where is Neil in all this, OP? Isn’t he wondering where his wife is? What she’s up to? Why she’s going out all dressed up at 11pm to your apartment? Doesn’t he have a spine?! Is he happy with his wife being like this? I’d be chatting with him if I were you!

super questions. 🏆To be fare cause Neil is working he don’t need to be there. But if these days family’s feel like they have to be glued together all the time. Time apart is also healthy too

Pathetic 🙄

DinaofCloud9 · 07/08/2025 22:20

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 21:57

I already did!

Show quote history

Hmm.

DBSFstupid · 07/08/2025 22:30

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NimbleDreamer · 07/08/2025 22:35

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TokyoSushi · 07/08/2025 22:36

Oh OP, I was wondering where this fabulous place is too! 🫠

Original poster
SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 22:41

So after changing the sheets, I thought we are going to be ok. We can laugh about the unfortunate events but we are ok. In the mean time while all of this was happening, Kate texted back saying that her and my DH booked the boat for tomorrow ( for all of us ). I felt so stupid that my DH forgot to tell me about that! Anyway, the boat is ‘drive yourself’ as it’s only for four people. Neil is working and DCs are windsurfing. If I end up on that fucking boat with Kate and my DH tomorrow, only one person is coming back🤣

OP posts:
Juslooking2 · 07/08/2025 22:43

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 22:41

So after changing the sheets, I thought we are going to be ok. We can laugh about the unfortunate events but we are ok. In the mean time while all of this was happening, Kate texted back saying that her and my DH booked the boat for tomorrow ( for all of us ). I felt so stupid that my DH forgot to tell me about that! Anyway, the boat is ‘drive yourself’ as it’s only for four people. Neil is working and DCs are windsurfing. If I end up on that fucking boat with Kate and my DH tomorrow, only one person is coming back🤣

Maybe there will be a murder Agatha Christie style……….

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 07/08/2025 22:44

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Seasonofthesticks · 07/08/2025 22:47

I can’t believe she’s not offered you both the boat to yourselves in light of your previous message asking for family time!

Cardinalita90 · 07/08/2025 22:47

You need to make it absolutely crystal clear to your DH he is not to make any more plans with her without consulting you first. If they do then tough shit, they're getting cancelled regardless of money paid. Woman up OP!

Also, fully expect your DH to tell Kate about the crapping the bed situation.

YetanotherNC25 · 07/08/2025 22:47

Well given your ‘tummy’ issues I suspect it’ll be the two of them on the boat without you. Very romantic for them!
See if he realises you exist tomorrow. I suspect he won’t sadly but hoping I’m wrong.

GloryDias · 07/08/2025 22:49

Hmmmm I thought you said you told her you were having a family day tomorrow??

Mumofnarnia · 07/08/2025 22:50

I would tell Kate that your DH won’t be coming as you’ve already told her that you’d like to spend time with your DH and dc as a family and that her and your DH have had ample time together and you are not having your whole holiday being taken over by plans that were made without consulting you first.

Seasonofthesticks · 07/08/2025 22:51

Mumofnarnia · 07/08/2025 22:50

I would tell Kate that your DH won’t be coming as you’ve already told her that you’d like to spend time with your DH and dc as a family and that her and your DH have had ample time together and you are not having your whole holiday being taken over by plans that were made without consulting you first.

Yeah, this

murasaki · 07/08/2025 22:55

Just tell her you are having a family day. Again.

HAL200 · 07/08/2025 22:56

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 22:41

So after changing the sheets, I thought we are going to be ok. We can laugh about the unfortunate events but we are ok. In the mean time while all of this was happening, Kate texted back saying that her and my DH booked the boat for tomorrow ( for all of us ). I felt so stupid that my DH forgot to tell me about that! Anyway, the boat is ‘drive yourself’ as it’s only for four people. Neil is working and DCs are windsurfing. If I end up on that fucking boat with Kate and my DH tomorrow, only one person is coming back🤣

Why are you letting her and your H decide how you spend the day? 🤔

jumpintheline · 07/08/2025 22:56

I need to know what happens on this boat 🍿

Lotsofsnacks · 07/08/2025 22:57

HAL200 · 07/08/2025 22:56

Why are you letting her and your H decide how you spend the day? 🤔

Show quote history

This! It’s you holiday too… why is she the boss?

Wadadli · 07/08/2025 22:58

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 15:01

I’m really hoping for some perspective here. We are currently in Spain with my friends for a holiday. It’s us ( myself, DH and DC 14,16 ) and my friends ( Kate, Neil, DC 14,17) obviously names are changed. Kate was my friend for a few years through the activities. They invited us for a holiday with them. We booked two different villas about 5min walk from each other and right on the beach. Since we got here, Kate and my DH are spending more and more time together. This is our full third day here, and so far today, they met running at 7am and booked a spontaneous paddle boarding for themselves at 10am. We were all on the beach later and went for a lunch. I went back to the villa to get some plasters and they both turned up. My DH said he is changing his top as he and Kate will walk to the town to get a few bits. All of the DC are spending their time on the beach learning windsurfing with the local club so I don’t need DH to help with childcare. Kate’s husband Neil has a work project to do so he spends about 5 hours a day working in their villa. I’m starting to feel like a 3rd wheel to my friend and my DH. I’m getting grumpy when I’m around them and I don’t want to push him away but I don’t know how to get out of this mood. And another thing which got me thinking is at the dinner, Kate asked for a sparkling water and my DH said he wants some too. He never drank fucking sparkling water but when I pulled him on it, he said it’s because I only drink a still water so he did too. So for years you were drinking still water because of me? Have a sparkling water if you want! Something is feeling odd and I can’t put my finger on it

FFS OP, woman up! I just read this scenario to my husband and told him HE is no 1 man in my life and I am no 1 woman in his. He has three female uni friends he’s known for decades but as his wife, no matter what, I’m numero uno. I’ve jokingly told him I’d have his knackers for earrings if he pulled a stunt like your twat of a husband did today

First thing tomorrow, in front of both of them, smilingly, and passive aggressively, tell Kate you’re taking your husband back and if she wants male attention, to have a word with Neil. I’m shocked you’ve let it go this long, so put your granny pants on and stop putting up with this pisstaking shit

Good luck 💐

Plantaineater · 07/08/2025 22:58

I'm only here for the next episode in this gripping story...the boat trip