thinking its mad, how everyone assumes your going to return to work, when your dcs start school?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

im not planning to, i want to be the one that takes dd to school picks her up from school is there if shes sick or on holiday.

don't school children have about 3 months of hols a year?

I think its universally accepted that for example long-term unemployment is not a good thing for peoples health. Paid work is important for the majority of adults even if they do sometimes find their job a bit boring I think. I think staying at home once your child is at school might be suitable for some people, but I do find it a bit strange that so many posters on this thread seems to totally dismiss the idea that paid work is important for most adults. Yes, there are lots of fun things to do in life.

Personally, I like the fact that the fun things I do are treats. I wake up on a Saturday morning and its weekend. Yes! Fun! I deserve it! I would not want to live as if every day was a weekend. I think work can be about money, but also about a sense of structure, contribution to society and not just your own family. To spend your whole adult life outside paid employment I don't think is a good thing for MOST people.

Can I just go on record as saying that I would have found it equally valuable if a man had done the same?
And equally valuable if both Mum and Dad had gone out to work.
My db is currently a SAHD while his wife is doing her PhD, good for them.
And tbh, my Mum didn't make much of a choice of her situation- but she certainly made the best of what she had!
And I would love to have a fulltime job, myself, come to think of it. Or at least to be my mother.

I would hate to not be able to pick my kids up from school and see their plays etc. To me, that is the main draw to staying home, just being around for them and quantity and quality time. I have years for jobs if I want one. I don't care about what the government tell us or the economy but I know my kids want me around (and DH when I am not here or at college) rather than be stuck in after school clubs or childminders like some of their friends, who mostly hate it.

Don't be purposely silly Stopit it makes you look small. Of course you can post your opinion, but you were being judgemental and telling someone their life choice was inappropriate. There are ways of expressing your opinion without belittling others

As I said I'm not interested in a petty argument with you and this is off the track of the OP

Rive, as Quattro I think has pointed out you are hardly the typical sahm. You are a fulltime carer for your DD and a teacher to your children because you HE. I would say being at home while your children are at school is pretty similar to being unemployed. I am not saying it doesn't suit some people and I am sure there is lots of charity work you can do etc (The charity sector must be thriving in this country with all the sahms on MN doing charity work all day long). I am pointing out that its also normal for an adult to want paid work. There are so many posters who seem to think paid work is over-rated and why work when you can windsurf and listen to radio 4 all day. I think its accepted that being out of work for long periods can be detrimental to self-esteem.

Jellybeans, I pick my children up from school too. Only probably about an hour later than you do. I also never miss a play. Its perfectly possible to organise your working day so that you also get to spend time with your children once they are at school.

I can see that paid work is important to some people but to say it is important even if boring is very strange.
I don't see the money as an issue-it is 'our' money. We have a joint account, I spend what I need to, if I want to buy a pair of shoes I buy them and I don't say how much they cost!
Twice in the past it has been possible that I would have to be the one to go out to earn because it is easier for me to get a job and it may crop up again later this year. I am happy to do this but only if DH does all the things that I do and covers orthodontist appointments etc.My job is very stressful if I do it full time and as DHs job is also stressful the quality of life goes right down, I would much rather have less money.
If I work full time I can never go to sports day, class assembly etc so you have to question why you are doing it.
If someone has no qualifications it would be much more stimulating to get some,do some voluntary work, take up handicrafts,design a garden etc than to sit on a supermarket check out-if you don't need the money.
I don't wish to grow old but I think retirement will be wonderful with time to follow all my interests without having to worry about work.
I work to live not the other way around!

'I have no idea how sahms keep their brains alive (I suspect they don't)'... Quattro.

They keep their brains alive because they are not channelled through the narrow confines of work.

'I have no idea how sahms keep their brains alive (I suspect they don't)'... Quattro.

we keep our brains alive beceuse we have more time and freedom, allowing us stimulate our brains in any way we wish.

give women the freedom of choice.

Pheebe, are you being deliberately obtuse? I never said the OPs lifestyle was inappropriate.

I commented that I felt it was a shame she felt no desire to use her qualifications.

I do agree, it is pointless us having this discussion, particularly as you seem determined to misinterpret my posts.

It says far more about you than us, Quattro, that you do not understand how we keep our brains alive and suspect that we don't.

Say 'present company excepted' as often as you like, it's still us you're insulting.

Quote from posieparker, addressed to me:

'Like I've said before I'm a lot younger than you and so I still have time.'

Erm.... you don't know how old I am. Posieblahblah, your posts really are incredibly stupid. You don't do anything to dispel the idea that staying home dulls the brain!!

I don't know why women give each other such a hard time! I have a friend who is a corporate lawyer, she has done extremely well and is a partner. I can't see her ever having children and certainly not being a SAHM. I assume that she loves her job and finds it interesting so I don't tell her I would consider it boring.Why should people tell SAHM it is boring? We are all different,one is not superior or the guide for all women.

Oi, posie whatnot.... are you going to tell me how old I am????
Or is that yet another question that you conveniently can't be bothered to answer!!

..... still waiting posieparker....??? Don't think she's gonna answer is she LMAO!!!

Just tp appease, you have to be nearly, if not, 40.

LOL Posie!! You really think you know it all? And your evidence base?

riven - to be fair, I don't think she's necessarily implying anything. Just stating that she knows she is 'a lot younger than I am', when she doesn't know my age at all, which therefore proves that she is VERY STUPID!!

poormansquttro, i think you need a chillpill

I chose to go back to work 3 days a week after a year of maternity leave and that seems to be working for me, my family and employer. One factor in my decision was that I didn't want to put DH under the pressure to be sole earner for several years to come and working PT means that I could step up to FT if he wanted to go PT, take a career break, re-train etc. I'm sure there are lots of others in the same position, but I'm surprised that it doesn't attract more discussion on threads like these.