thinking its mad, how everyone assumes your going to return to work, when your dcs start school?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

im not planning to, i want to be the one that takes dd to school picks her up from school is there if shes sick or on holiday.

don't school children have about 3 months of hols a year?

Kay

Your MIL sounds wonderful and its the loss of women like her with the time to be part of a community that drives the need for sites like mn

FWIW - I have read with interest the posts about people not returning to work and my favourite topic regarding what is there to do all day.

It has definitely opened my eyes - I love the sound of your MIL KayHarker. It seems that if you're occupied then it can definitely be fulfilling and worthwhile.

The people with children who aren't accessing mainsteam school due to homeschooling/disability are a real exception with exceptional parents.

The elderly people that I meet every day seem to be happy/unhappy looking back on their lives not according to what their paid work was but whether they perceived their lives to be meaningful. I think that's my question answered.

Although of course there are some miserable buggers too

Pheebe, my point is, she can do both. Why determine to walk away from it entirely when she could do locum work while her DD is at school?

Oh, and that's directed to you too Riven.

Riven, I'm not referring to your situation. I'm referring to the OP.

(a) I am not a barrister
(b) I do not think that being home as a full time carer of disabled children and/or home-educating them is in any way equivalent to being a "regular" sahm.
(c) I did not say that being at home is equal to being thick. I said I thought it would be difficult to keep brains alive - a genuine distinction. In fact the illustrations of days that were cited did seem to me to illustrate that that is a difficulty
(d) How much sense (financial/emotional etc) would it make for someone to go out to work if they can't cover the childcare costs? None whatsoever. If they can cover the cost of childcare, then they are genuinely in a position of having a choice, and that's a bonus.

I am sorry that you don't think it is an issue that women earn less, have less independence and less financial security. Perhaps we are indeed our own worst enemies

I think the best solution would be for girls to leave school at 15 and for employers just not to employ any woman of childbearing age.

Then there would be nothing to fight about.

Absolutely, Quattrocento.

I do find it a bit disingenuous too when people talk about their 'career' as a home maker - or worse, describe themselves as the 'CEO of their family'.

at riven - I don't think it's an insult you know - I have an admiration for barristers that I expressed further down the thread - perhaps that's where it came from

If caring for kids doesn't do much for the brain then are nannies and childminders abit thick then? (or does the fact they are paid make their work stimulating and give them a mass of social contacts?)

Because its all about personal choice Stopit

OK, I admit it, there's not much call for using my extensive training as a cage dancer and barmaid at home. Those skills have, indeed, gone to waste.

I worked as a nanny when I was younger

The mums usually didn't want to spend too much time with their children and couldn't understand you choosing to do a job that means you spend most of your time with other peoples kids

Some mums with nannies on MN seem to be very different to most of the mums I worked for, maybe I was just unlucky

Of course it's all about personal choice pheebe.

I still view it as a shame and a waste of her qualifications though, in exactly the same way as I would think that if she gave it up to go and work in a call centre.

But thats your opinion and has no real relevance in real life - sorry, not trying to argue here, just find it odd that we all seem to think we have such a right to have an opinion on other peoples life choices

I also find myself thinking would I feel the same confronted with someone who gave up work 'just' to go on the dole and hence live off my hard earned taxes, the answer is no of course but parents who choose to stay ar home aren't doing that (by and large) they are raising the next generation of tax payers who will pay my pension - very valuable 'work' in my opinion if you want to bring it all down to the level of money that is

Oh I'm sorry pheebe, I didn't realise we weren't allowed to post our opinions on here.

You'd better go and tell everybody else who contributed to the thread.

Of course it's my opinion. Did I every present it as anything other than that?

Oh, and Pheebe, you presented an opnion on someone else's life choice when you said this:

"Kay

Your MIL sounds wonderful and its the loss of women like her with the time to be part of a community that drives the need for sites like mn"

Why is it difficult to keep your brain alive at home?

One of the most intelligent and most interesting people I know is my mother. She was a SAHM until I was in my early teens and then went into part time employment. She speaks at least 15 languages and can read another dozen or so. She has read everything. She took up Old Church Slavonic at university level in her late sixties and has reached a level of proficiency where she has been able to act as an (unpaid) academic advisor to several research projects. She also used to accompany her son on the piano, when he was training to be a professional musician. She taught me English and German and Latin. She is brilliant with textiles, embroiders to a high standard, knits and knows how to take care of old textiles.
I would say her brain is definitely alive. In fact, I know few fulltime academics who seem as alive as she does. Home must have been a stimulating enough environment for her. And it was definitely stimulating for the rest of us, having her around.

Exactly cory.

Good for her Cory, that's very impressive.