thinking its mad, how everyone assumes your going to return to work, when your dcs start school?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

im not planning to, i want to be the one that takes dd to school picks her up from school is there if shes sick or on holiday.

don't school children have about 3 months of hols a year?

Well in that case I should have read the thread better, I must have missed some in between reads. If he is unhappy then yes that is a real shame and I hope he sorts something out.

Thanks for all who commented on my dilemma - I think ideally I would think up some fabulous idea which would enable me to work from home (and so be my own boss!) but can't think of anything along those lines that I would enjoy doing at the moment...

Crrrrrrumbs posieparker there's a vicious and bitter post. Steady on. Seems perhaps you lack a little empathy for the working ones, or feel vulnerable about your own position? Can't put my finger on it and in slight rush.

Haven't time for much but just re. JK Rowling she was unemployed in that she had no salaried job but you could hardly call developing the whole seven book series and writing to completion the Philosopher's Stone not working.

jellybeans no reading between the lines needed, DaddyCool said he hated his job, several times, and that the only reason he stayed was because he defines himself and his masculinity by the amount of money he makes. I and others sympathised with him. I was also thinking about him all afternoon as I have never come across a man with such a strange motivation or peculiar world view. But he was taken seriously, certainly not dismissed or ridiculed. Disagreed with, yes.

Posie, I find your posts get less coherent as the day goes on.

What has JK Rowling got to do with the price of fish? I like her books, as do the DCs.

What on earth does this mean "Oh! how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes." I mean what are you suggesting? That I'm so envious of your domestic situation that I am bitter and resentful? That's plain silly.

GFM working from home is what I do most of the time and while it can be hard to discipline yourself and hard not to be distracted by all the glorious charms of anything other than work, it's great if you have dc and want to be your own boss. What you could do obv depends on your existing skills, experience, any retraining you'd be happy to do.

EG are you artistic / creative / numerate / professionally qualified / keen on children / good at gardening / IT savvy?

I wonder why you have so much venom for SAHMs and can only conclude that you are jealous.
JK Rowling, SAHM at the time of the publishing of her first book.
Why is SAHM such a big thing for you?
Marmite, I have much empathy and sympathy for the WOHM who would rather be at home, the WOHM who feels her working life makes her who she is, the part time WOHM who enjoys the joys of both childcare and work, I can understand these points view, I don't share them but I get them.

I don't have any venom for sahms - it's a perfectly legitimate and legal position to take here in the UK - I believe not working was against the law in some communist countries - thankfully we have not got to that position here.

The trouble with sahming is that many of its practitioners get defensive - the OP is chippy for instance. I don't know why that is at all. The facts, as IOTA's excellent link shows, are that 90% of women return to work. The ONLY thing that worries me about this statistic is that the women frequently go back to lowly paid and fairly menial jobs and this is a feminist issue, really it is.

The idea of JK Rowling as typical of a non working mother or a single mother is frankly hilarious. In terms of her earning power and success, she's not even typical of a writer. She's quite quite extraordinary and no lessons can be extrapolated from her story.

Yes JK Rowling is typical, that really was my point.

Yes but she's not. She's extraordinary not typical of anything.

extraordinay and not typical of anything.

extraordinay and not typical of anything.

Okay sarcasm not conveyed so well. She illustrates the ridiculousness of the notion that SAHMs are stupid, dull and boring just because they find joy and fulfillment in taking care of their children.

I was just cooking tea and have drunk quite a few glasses of wine so here I go...

When my mum was a SAHM (in the 70's) my brothers and I were in cloth nappies, no microwave etc so it took all day to organise us and keep the home running. Advances in technology have streamlimed this process.

I asked last night what SAHM do if their DC are in school. If you volunteer - that's work. If your DC are not sick and not on holiday then it still seems like a mighty gap in the day to me.

I appreciate this is probably a highly inarticulate post so let me clarify my point of view...

If you like it - fair play, stay at home. If you home educate - brilliant - what a great use of resources and an opportunity to give your DC the education you want for them.

BUT...

Seriously - if your children are at school you don't work and you don't volunteer then what do you do?

Lazyhen, gawd knows!! Sit in a cafe and write a book?

someone asked what i amounted to, as if my chosen profession is what a person amounts to.
anyway my profession is pharmacist.

i agree lots of people try to fool themseleves they love their jobs, perhaps SOME do, but the majority don't.

what i find v telling about certain people that seem quite anti SAH is, they never ever say what their views are about the elderly and retired.
i also wonder how they will cope when they are old and unable to work anymore.

also quats comments about SAH being brain dead are akin to stay WOHM "dump/farm out their children" " have got their priorities all wrong" "don't realise their children are more important than money"
so i won't even bother to respond to such silly drivel.

also makes me a bit when people say its boring, i totally agree i think that is to do with thir lack of imagination than anything else

LOL at JK Rowling being typical of SAHMs. Moving quickly into the realms of surrealism here aren't we!

Dh is a sahd and kids are out all day. He is bored stiff. He does the housework, walks dogs for a couple of hours, does school runs and cooks the meals etc. He finds his day gets filled up with all of this and tbh he finds it very mundane.

Rowling doesn't illustrate anything of the kind, PP. If she'd had a full time job and wrote the Harry Potter books, she wouldn't be typical of women with jobs. She's a one off.

In response to posie's attack on Quattro... can I say that from what I've read in Quattro's posts, I admire her!! She clearly has an interesting career, and is achieving in her working life as well as in the home.
Maybe that's why some people have a problem with her....

'lots of people try to fool themseleves they love their jobs, perhaps SOME do, but the majority don't.' - very negative view of life. There are a lot of interesting ways to earn a living and make a valuable contribution to society through it too. Maybe some people need to look a bit harder!

findtheriver, who the fuck is typical? You would have ridiculed her as much prior to her first publication for being a SAHM or would have known about her imminent fame and fortune?
You know for a woman who works, intelligence supposedly goes with the territory, you do seem to find reading a little tricky. I didn't say JK Rowling was typical, I merely asserted that she was a SAHM.