OLD - it's a new level of grim out there

[Lazykitten]

Just.... vomit (screenshot says it all)

I know - it blows my mind what some women will put up with and it's particularly sad when I see young women putting up with shit from their partners that mine would never have done and he's in his 60s.

I hoped society would have moved on from when I was in my 20s ... maybe it has overall but male behaviour doesn't seem to have much!

He's telling you who he is and what he wants. It's not what you're looking for, so move on. I'd much rather they were honest and up front about what they are looking for than hide it and waste my time.

“Good sense of humus.”

That’s loam

You just know he would turn up with dirty finger nails and that would be a no from me, so another one to toss onto the compost heap of life!

Now if he'd said
'Mellors here, looking for Ms/ Lady Chatterly' I think I'd have been game.

Not that I've tried OLD as a long married woman but my BFF is an expert. She even did 'adult fun'. Mind you she's scary. She gives them a taste of their own medicine.

“By the time you’re sycamore, you’ll know what a lot meant.”

Yuech! Would serve him right if someone turned up with an impliment for digging and an attached hose pipe. Sorry, imagination failed at that point.

OLD is absolutely grim

I’m sure he thinks he is hilarious and an amazing catch he is 🤢

Maybe he's a fungi.

A prize specimen?

My radish is reddish for you.

Honestly some of the threads on here - he’s cheated with my sister, mum and best friend, watches porn in bed wanking while im asleep, doesn’t pay towards the household expenses and sits scratching his balls while I cook and clean but I don’t want to lose him because i love him so much and he’s so kind and caring!!

Absolutely blows my mind’

Getting filthy with chatGPT a new low for mankind

Omg I hope its not the chris I knowing seriously hope not!

And shitting in it, apparently.

Tell him to plant his peonies elsewhere 🤢

Eeeeewwweew.

One of my first experiences on Tinder should have warned me and been my last - matched with a guy one evening. Swapped a couple of messages then went to bed.

Woke up to a slew of messages that started with his hopes for our first date, his plans to learn how to be a tattooist, how his first tattoo would be of a picture of Nathan Detroit of Guys and Dolls because it was his mum’s favourite film - ON ME.

He then went on to detail how we’d live near his mum, she’d eventually move in, I’d learn how to be a real woman from her as no one looked after him like her, then he decided I wasn’t being respectful enough and would need to learn to accept him and his mum came first and if I wasn’t looking after either of them to the right standard I’d hear all about it.

The last message said I was a disrespectful ho who didn’t deserve him or his mother and he never wanted to see me again.

I had been asleep during the whole conversation. Hadn’t contributed a single comment to the mad scenario.

When I finished the thread i replied WTF and got an immediate response - allegedly from his mum, calling me evil.

Should have learned my lesson but no.

You forgot "he's a great dad".

Chat GPT definitely wrote this and I don't think that's supposed to be hidden? I actually think it's supposed to be light-hearted. Definitely not how I would introduce myself! But, I suppose the point of OLD is it will click with some people and they are the ones it's advertising to!

Ick

I did think - 'well, at least he's honest and you know upfront that he just wants sex.' He's not pretending to want a relationship, so if you've got a front garden that needs a bit of attention (and possibly your back garden too, he sounds like he might be a keen all-rounder), then Chris is probably your tool.

Hes trying to come across as a down to earth sod, but risks prolonging his dating drought.

Now where's my weed killer spray?

Is that Alan Titchmarsh under a pseudonym? He has form for awful sexy writing. 😆