AIBU about “adopt don’t shop”?

[totallybonafido]

Yes I know it’s better to adopt rather than to buy a kitten from some random person online - but rescue places make it so difficult! I’m trying to get a new friend for my cat and I’m not getting anywhere.

I've contacted all local rescues, big and small, who claim to be inundated with cats and kittens, and been told:
• they only re home kittens in pairs
• you can’t adopt if you’re out at work during the day
• you can’t adopt if you don’t have a cat flap
• if uk you adopt, you have to agree that the cat will be indoor only
• we won’t give give you a cat if you have children
• we don’t have any single kittens at the moment

These are just the ones that have responded, many don’t.

If they really are inundated and struggling to rehome cats, you’d think they’d be a bit less picky? I got my current cat from a random lady online whose 2 cats had litters at the same time, so she had about 10 kittens at once. I’ve just seen on pets4homes that she has another 12 kittens to re home now, it’s beyond irresponsible and she has no idea who she’s giving them to. I want to do the responsible thing here, but I probably am going to end up buying a kitten off some random again as the alternative has too many obstacles.

Kittens are often rehomed in pairs as they need a lot of stimulation and so entertain each other. Single kittens can get lonely and bored and destructive.
Older cats that have never lived with another cat may not want another cat about. It all kind of depends

I have found it very rescue dependent. I follow a lot of rescues and I also have had 4 rescue cats over the past dew years. Some places are really good and engage well and are very pragmatic. Especially if you are taking an older cat. Others had ridiculously strict rules and do themselves no favours.

Another recommendation for Cats Protection. I was interested in a cat online. When I phoned she had already been adopted but they had another available who we visited and adopted. No problem not having a cat flat and working in the office two days a week

We have tried quite a few times to adopt a cat but never been successful and I really don’t know why. We have three older children but we have a plenty big enough house, garden, not near main road, only short times where nobody is home?
Last time the cat we applied to adopt to re advertised and we messaged and said could we have feed back on why we were declined as we were still keen to adopt the cat. They just replied that they didn’t know why they had declined us now but the previous decision was still the same.
We will probably buy a pair of kittens now rather than adopting an older cat as I just don’t want to fill in any more forms or send any more videos of my house to strangers on the internet for them to say no to their cat joining our loving and welcoming home with three kids desperate for a pet!

Cats as adults are semi-solitary (they have no objection to using other mammals of any species as a handy source of heat for napping purposes) but kittens need other kittens for play fighting and learning how to be a cat. The ideal life for a cat is to be given a new home with a sibling just at the time when mum gets fed up with them and wants to be left alone (10-12 weeks), and for either that new home to be big enough that they can adopt different territories within it, or for their sibling to either die young or bugger off and adopt a neighbor instead once they are 15-18 months old ish

I got my cat from the Cats Protection 6 years ago and didn’t have any of these problems. Told them I had youngish kids and they introduced me to the cats that could live with children. They looked at my address on Google maps to make sure I wasn’t near a main road, which is fair as DH grew up on a main road and lost 2 cats to RTCs. The adoption fee was £60 which probably didn’t even cover their costs. They had a mixture of indoor only and outdoor cats, didn’t even ask about a cat flap or my working arrangements that I can recall.

If they didn’t deem me fit enough to adopt I wouldn’t have bothered getting a cat at all.

Surprised you were told UK shelters insist the cat be indoor only, it’s usually the opposite here. I couldn’t adopt from anywhere in my area because I’m in an upstairs flat - it was a condition that cat had access to outdoors whenever it wanted. They also wouldn’t adopt to anyone with a job that wasn’t work from home.

Because I didn’t tick those two boxes no-where would even let me fill in an application. Got two cats from a breeder instead, they keep each other company when I’m at work and I take them down to the garden to play every evening when I get home. They are extremely happy and contended cats.

We aren’t actually deluged with strays here the way some other countries are - there just aren’t colonies of cats roaming every street popping out kittens. So shelters don’t actually have as many to rehome as you might believe and they can afford to be very picky.

I'm inclined to agree with you.
We had 2 kittens after my colleagues cat managed to escape and get knocked up before she was spayed.
One of the kittens turned out to have a heart problem and died very young. The vet advised us to get a second kitten as company for our remaining one.

Absolutely no rescue would consider us. At the time we had no kids. Lived in a cul de sac. Had a cat flap. But we both worked shifts and once every week or so were both out overnight. Apparently that was a big red flag. In the end the vet put us in touch with a client whose cat was pregnant.

Our cats are 10 now and we have 2 kids who have gained so much from living with animals. DD feeds them, plays with them and they sleep at the end of her bed. Toddler DS is incredibly gentle. They also clearly love the kids who are constantly willing to play! But I know when they do die, we probably won't be considered by a rescue because of the kids. Sigh.

Reminded me of this.

I had no issues at all finding cats to adopt when I lived in London. Then I moved a good distance away and suddenly experienced what others on the thread are recounting - not a single rescue would consider me. Only one even bothered replying to me and said she wouldn't let me adopt a cat because I live on a main road, despite me having described in detail how the cats wouldn't have access to the road but to the fields at the back.

I didn't even want a kitten. I wanted an older cat and was fine with health issues.

Thanks for reminding me of that meme. Been sat for 2 minutes laughing to myself saying pissfingers then laughing some more.

Please do not buy from this 'breeder' it is the cat equivalent of a puppy farm.
The poor cat she is breeding from I would be reporting her to the RSPCA. The woman is just in it for the money and it is heartbreaking to think of the welfare of the poor cat she is breeding from.
I know some rescue centres don't make it easy but having worked in animal welfare and seen what goes on I totally understand why.
OP please don't buy a kitten from this woman, if you do you are allowing some poor cat to be abused. Anyone who breeds cats for money (non breed specific) is reprehensible in my opinion.

IME there often seems to be a bit of power play at the local level for cat rescues. Give the Cats Protection National centre a ring. I adopted last week - no hassle at all (although I do WFH which helps but didn’t 12years ago when I adopted the last cat) No cat flap - no problem. Child was 7 last time - no problem. They adopt out single kittens (they have a lot in actually) although this may be due to my having a cat previously. They looked up my house on the Internet (!) so no home visit needed. They are in Sussex which is a bit of a trek but they were far more helpful for my last adoption than the local rep who seemed obsessed with putting up barriers.

But nothing in life is ever “perfect” our dog (purchased as a puppy) is left alone once a week whilst we both go to the office. We leave at 8:30 dog walker collects at around 11:30 drops her back about 1:30, DS home about 3;30. The rest of the time at least one of us wfh (during which time our dog moves from the sofa to the chair),

She has the best life, the vet thinks she is autistic and she struggles with quite a few aspects of life but we look after her and are experience with nervous dogs that need patience and understanding. one day she walks through the National trust property right by our house, another she’s on the beach, next day we might be on the moors. She snuggles up in bed with us every night.

Yet no rescue would ever rehome with us because we both work. So yes I do 100% think a dog would be better off with us than stuck in a kennel/PTS.

But when we lose our dog we will buy another.

Id agree with this
I've concluded quite a few 'rescues' are actually groups of women obsessed with cats who like to rescue and keep lots of cats but cant afford the costs. They set themselves up as a 'rescue' and are constantly making pleas of social media for money to fund vet bills, cat food etc for what are basically their own million pet cats. Supposedly lots of kittens being fostered but it's extremely hard to get these groups to part with them, rules like others have described get trotted out, no kids, only in pairs (adult cats are actually often happier alone!), specific rules on whether the cats must be kept indoor, how big your house/garden must be etc etc.
Its nonsense and scammy.
So people just buy a nice kitten, job done.
Its not like dogs where temperament and breeding are key.

You need to work To afford to feed the pet ffs. Never mind beds, toys, diesel for the car to take it on walks

Before my comment is misjudged, I’m not a ‘adopt before you shop’ person but…..

Have you tried Romanian rescues? I have no idea what the costs are like for a cat/kitten, but I adopted our dog from one as a puppy. She was £250 which was I believe mainly to cover her transport cost, also included a pet passport (as they had to travel from abroad) with all her first vaccinations done, and she was quite literally delivered to our front door

She is honestly the best dog we could have asked for. She was roughly 4 months old when she arrived

Only thing we needed to demonstrate was that we had a fence higher than 120cm (I think - it was 9 years ago) - but I’d imagine their rules for cats won’t include this with them being free wandering. They also had no issue with us having a then toddler aged child either. I did however work from home

Worth maybe having a look?

Edited to add - she arrived with demodetic mange which looked bloody awful, she had bald patches, but it cleared within a few weeks with some home care. It isn’t contagious but we got some right stares the first few weeks we had her!

Completely agree - had the same issue trying to get a second dog. He would have been alone (with my first dog, who is an absolute softy) for five hours a day, but I could prove I had a dog walker who would take them out every day with a group of other dogs for 1.5-2 hours.

How is a loving home with a companion and plenty of social interaction not a better solution than being in a rescue centre?!?

We have a rescue cat. We had to have our home inspected before they would let us have her. Our previous rescue had lived to be about 18 years old so we know how to look after a pet. After what I saw on the news this week about cruelty to kittens, it breaks my heart to see how hard it is to adopt and as a consequence people are buying from backstreet breeders who will sell to anyone - not just those who can offer a loving home.

Got turned down for adopting a cat from a rescue, apparently the sole reason they gave was they found out me and dh were fairly newly married at the time, and they said they couldn’t risk it as I MAY want to have children in the future.

I got my last cat, an adult, from the local RSPCA @totallybonafido . They did a home visit and at first weren't sure about our proximity to the main road (it was a street away) in case he roamed but eventually decided it would be OK. There weren't any excessive adoption requirements thankfully.

I wonder if they have got stricter? We adopted from the rscpca 9 years ago . We had no home visit, (although they asked questions, and knew what area we lived in) and my youngest child was 6. We did adopt 2 kittens but the 3rd from the litter was going to be rehomed on its own

I volunteer at a CP cat centre and there are no blanket rules around adoption, it's on a cat by cat basis. CP do generally ask for outdoor access unless cat is FIV positive or possible other reasons. Some cats can't live with other cats.
The criteria are in place to reduce the chance of a cat being returned. The staff do adoptions so I'm not involved in that side myself.
People don't always accept their home isn't suitable for a particular cat or they think it's like Amazon where you can get exactly what you want all the time.
There are loads of rescues so please don't line the pockets of greedy breeders. It feels like rescue bashing is a thing at the moment for people to justify buying. Perhaps people should spend time actually seeing what goes. Rant over.

Yep. No one would give us a cat because DC were too young. Despite the fact that our home was otherwise completely perfect, the cat would never be left unsupervised with DC, and they would be able to come and go as they pleased.

Ended up buying a kitten from a farm and then acquiring a second cat from a neighbour (she moved and asked if we’d keep him as her new home wasn’t suitable).

My parents have been rejected for dogs for no apparent reason. They have one well behaved dog, a large, enclosed garden, my dad is retired, they walk loads… it literally makes no sense.

I fully appreciate that pets need to go to appropriate homes. But there’s appropriate and then ‘holding out for a unicorn’.

Agree, I tried to adopt two rabbits about 8 years ago. Multiple trips to the rescue (an hour's drive away), and they still wouldn't just let us have them. They had been at the rescue for years and were old, so no one else was interested in them. I was happy to have them from my first visit, but no, they wouldn't just let me have them. I got sick of them wasting my time with multiple trips but them never just giving me a decision or any feedback whatsoever (saw a different person every time), so went to another shelter and they couldn't give me a pair quick enough!!

After they died, I then just bought from a breeder as I couldn't be bothered with the hassle and also with rabbits, it's really hard to find out the history of them and I'm convinced the ones I was given had suffered really bad trauma as they were terrified of people. So buying young kits instead worked out much better as we could bond from the start.

Agree. When we got our first cat we lived in a flat but with medium-term plans to move to a house (which we ended up not doing for a couple of years) and the charity were only too happy to let us adopt one (at the time we were cat sitting a friends cat who utterly charmed the home visit lady which I suspect played a part).

When that cat died of natural causes I went back to the same charity and by now we were living in a house but they weren’t happy with the road or my children’s ages (youngest was 5, they’d grown up with the cat). i tried every charity in the area but no luck, either because of children or road (it’s a “busy twice a day” kind of road) although Battersea to give them credit would have rehomed and had available kittens but I wanted a big cat not kittens. We went to the charity open day of another cat charity, had a good time, spent money, had lovely conversations including a lovely volunteer who introduced us to a mother-and-kitten pair that he thought could be a good match, but then were told on the phone when I enquired a few days later that they wouldn’t rehome to me because my children had been seen “chasing kittens” at the open day. My children had behaved impeccably, including in the feral cat pen that needed quiet and stillness, and yes it was a fun day so they were playing at the activities etc but they absolutely were not chasing kittens!. I honestly found the whole thing so upsetting as we’d supported this charity for years and my mum had got her cats from there as well, and I overheard on the phone someone from the charity saying something really awful about my family. In the end the woman who would come and feed my old cat when we went away knew a garden stray that another of her clients wanted to rehome as she couldn’t adopt him herself as her cats didn’t like him. We took him and had several happy years (including us having another new baby who he was so affectionate with) until he sadly was hit by a car.

after a while we really were missing cats, but waited until the baby had grown to be 4. But this plus the fact I’d lost a cat on the road was a big problem and everybody said no. But then a new local charity popped up who were looking to be more flexible because they said they knew there were loving homes out there that the big rescues wouldn’t consider. They wanted a video of the house and the room we’d first put the cat in - fine - and said they’d be very happy to rehome to me but would I consider kittens as they had a large glut of them. We agreed. A week later 2 little bundles of furry fun appeared (who are now fully grown) and we LOVE THEM and they are so happy and chilled with us.

It’s been a long and on occasion upsetting road for pet ownership and in your particular situation and seeing why you want 1 kitten I would have no hesitation in buying rather than adopting. The main reason rescues want you to take a pair (apart from moving on a pair when they can) is so the kitten won’t get lonely but any kitten you get will have your big cat for company.