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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Abroad with only child and feel like I'm not entertaining enough??

133 replies

Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:24

Me and my husband are blessed with a wonderful son. I always wanted more children but secondary infertility put a stop to this. But of course we are immensely happy with the one we have!

I'm currently abroad visiting my family and we've been to the swimming baths today. Everywhere I look it seems there are siblings and I constantly feel that me and husband aren't enough entertainment for my son, though he seems happy enough with us.... I kind of wonder if anyone is looking at me and thinking he should have a sibling to play with- is this just me projecting?? When we are at home in England were often out with friends children so it doesn't really feel that way.....

OP posts:
MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

BasicBrumble · 05/08/2025 15:29

Really harsh first reply. Plenty of families have one child and manage just fine. I think you are overthinking. It's good for kids not to have constant stimulation anyway. I had a brother but always ignored him on holiday (I was a reader). Your son doesn't know any different and will be fine.

PicaK · 05/08/2025 15:30

You're projecting. Honestly.
Ask him if he would have liked to have a sibling - you'll get a yes.
Ask him if he wants the latest xbox* for Xmas. Note the total enthusiasm x100 for this.
(*his equivalent of what my son would want)
We actually did this when we looked at adoption (advice from a book) and it was a good lesson.
He's fine. Provide access to socialisation, encourage play dates etc He's not deprived.

Original poster
Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:30

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

Oh goodness me I wish I never asked I feel awful 😞

OP posts:
Enchanted82 · 05/08/2025 15:31

I have one and am so happy with our little family. Don’t let anyone make you think you’re not enough, what children need is love, care, to feel safe and to be listened to. Sounds like your son has more than that.
siblings can never replace the love and security of parents and remember so many children ( who may have siblings) are in very unhappy homes.

Enchanted82 · 05/08/2025 15:32

And pay no attention to the previous poster, what a ridiculous thing to say!

Dartmoorcheffy · 05/08/2025 15:33

Ill be honest. As an only child I really didn't enjoy holidays with my parents. It was quite lonely. As I got older we went away with my cousins and that was much more fun.

kersh33 · 05/08/2025 15:34

That’s a really harsh reply and I don’t think is particularly accurate. I have an only and DD is currently at a holiday club having a lovely time doing all sorts of activities with her friends. It doesn’t stop her coming home and saying how much she is looking forward to next week when we will be visiting her nana as a family with no other children.

We do make more of an effort with her when we are on holiday than maybe other families - but to be honest I like spending time with her and she likes spending one on one time with us.

PurpleThistle7 · 05/08/2025 15:34

What a strange first response!

My husband and I have two children but we regularly split them up and each take one to do something - they're very different kids and like very different things so we spend time with them 1:1 a lot. They're delighted to have our full focus.

I have a lot of friends with 1 child for various reasons and those children don't seem any more or less happy than anyone else! Anecdotally my children's friends who are from 1 child families are much more articulate and engage with me much more.

I'm sorry you didn't have the family you pictured when you were younger but you are absolutely providing a wonderful life for your child and he isn't missing out on anything. you clearly put a lot of time and energy into him and care a lot about him and that's all he needs!

Enchanted82 · 05/08/2025 15:35

And I am an only child and loved all my holidays! Because I had parents who cared and were interested and we did loveky things together

SugarMarshmallow · 05/08/2025 15:36

How old is your DC?

Original poster
Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:38

Enchanted82 · 05/08/2025 15:31

I have one and am so happy with our little family. Don’t let anyone make you think you’re not enough, what children need is love, care, to feel safe and to be listened to. Sounds like your son has more than that.
siblings can never replace the love and security of parents and remember so many children ( who may have siblings) are in very unhappy homes.

Edited

Thank you so much. That's lovely and I feel the same, so happy with our family of 3! I think it just still stings a bit sometimes that I couldn't have another when I desperately wished for it....(Don't get me wrong I don't want to sound ungrateful at all!)

OP posts:
mumonthehill · 05/08/2025 15:38

Totally harsh first reply. I was an only and never needed other children on holiday to make me happy. Ds was an only for 7 years and was always happy with just us, hated holiday clubs and was quite happy playing and spending time with dh and I. Enjoy your holiday and please do not worry.

Original poster
Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:38

SugarMarshmallow · 05/08/2025 15:36

How old is your DC?

He's just turned 6- we do often go away for long weekends with friends or his cousin but this longer break now is just immediate family/ grandparents!

OP posts:
Pootles34 · 05/08/2025 15:40

OP you said it yourself, he seems happy enough! By all means take a friend for him if you like, maybe as he gets older, but I think most parents do that for a bit of peace themselves, not because it's obligatory in any way.

I've got two, and we try to divide and conquer ours in the holiday as they bicker so much together. You can't win!

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 05/08/2025 15:41

Bloody hell. That first reply is awful!! I had my first son and he was an only child until he was eleven. He bloody adored being an only child!!! I worshipped the ground he walked on for his first eleven years and he knew how precious to me he was. I went on to have two more children then and I know they’ve never felt how adored he was as there just wasn’t time In the day to sit and gaze at them ☺️Life became busier as it does with more children. Your only child is very wanted and loved and that’s beautiful.

Iris2020 · 05/08/2025 15:41

Having a sibling isn't always easy. Families where one child has significant additional needs can leave the other siblings feeling anywhere from unseen to unsafe.
One a much less serious level, your dc gets all althea attention, the choice of activities and more of the budget spent on them.

When they’re old enough, maybe send them on camps too so they can enjoy social time. I'm sure they're loving your holiday though!

Original poster
Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:41

mumonthehill · 05/08/2025 15:38

Totally harsh first reply. I was an only and never needed other children on holiday to make me happy. Ds was an only for 7 years and was always happy with just us, hated holiday clubs and was quite happy playing and spending time with dh and I. Enjoy your holiday and please do not worry.

Thank you so much, you're very kind. Incidentally my sister is much older than me and I always went away with my parents without her, and I never missed anything or anyone- I didn't even think about this until now!

OP posts:
Bigminnie1 · 05/08/2025 15:43

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

This is utter nonsense .

afaloren · 05/08/2025 15:44

You’re projecting. I am an only child and on holiday mum would ask me if I wanted to go to the kids’ club or make friends with other children and I always said no! I wanted to spend time with her or read. Plenty of only children are very happy. Some kids with siblings just squabble all the time so it swings both ways.

Lookingforwardto2025 · 05/08/2025 15:47

We have taken DS9 on lots of lovely holidays both in the UK and abroad. He had an amazing time on them all and talks about his memories of them all the time. You do have to be a bit more active and get involved the more physical stuff (DS loved an inflatables course in the sea in Croatia, absolutely exhausting for adults but great fun for all). We have done one holiday with another family and DS enjoyed it but no more so than ones he does with just us.

I have 3 brothers but much younger than me so had lots of holidays before they were born and even afterwards they weren't of an age to play with me. I still loved my holidays.

IME children who are outgoing and want to play with friends will make friends on holiday. Then there are those like my DS who would far rather be with us. When he is a teenager we will ask if he wants to invite a friend.

Notquitegrownup2 · 05/08/2025 15:47

I'm an only child and whilst I would have loved to have a sibling, holidays were the one time I really didn't care! I loved holidaying with my parents and exploring together and then always had a bag of books with me too, for rainy days/when they were relaxing. I had adventures (and friends) galore in every book.

You are right, at home friends are really important but ime holidays are great as an only.

SugarMarshmallow · 05/08/2025 15:47

Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:41

Thank you so much, you're very kind. Incidentally my sister is much older than me and I always went away with my parents without her, and I never missed anything or anyone- I didn't even think about this until now!

Show quote history

I think you are projecting your own worries and overthinking because you are / or were going through secondary infertility. It is natural to feel like a stomach drop when you see siblings together knowing they have what you desperately want. Sounds like your boy is very loved and having fun. You said he seems happy enough. I’m sure he goes to school and has friends, cousins or family members so is around other children. Do not beat yourself up, this isn’t your fault xx

SleepyLlamaFace · 05/08/2025 15:49

Very strange 1st reply!

All of my 3 have expressed the desire to be an only child OP - they'd love my undivided time, attention & wallet!

I'm fortunate and ours do largely get along, and are good company for each other, but they all also want time with me, individually. While I do always make that time, I never feel it's quite enough, and I think they'd all agree too. Your son will never feel that way OP, that's a lovely gift.

DyslexicPoster · 05/08/2025 15:49

No one is looking or judging. I have 4. I feel like people are judging me sometimes but the reality is that no one is