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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Abroad with only child and feel like I'm not entertaining enough??

133 replies

Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:24

Me and my husband are blessed with a wonderful son. I always wanted more children but secondary infertility put a stop to this. But of course we are immensely happy with the one we have!

I'm currently abroad visiting my family and we've been to the swimming baths today. Everywhere I look it seems there are siblings and I constantly feel that me and husband aren't enough entertainment for my son, though he seems happy enough with us.... I kind of wonder if anyone is looking at me and thinking he should have a sibling to play with- is this just me projecting?? When we are at home in England were often out with friends children so it doesn't really feel that way.....

OP posts:
stayathomer · 05/08/2025 16:17

I have 4 children and on any given day there will be one who wishes the others wanted to do something. Also kids are harsh, I once brought them all bowling and within minutes two had said they were really bored. It’s just kids op, I’m sure you’re doing great x

ps maybe off the cuff ask if there’s anything mad he’d like to do over the holidays and see if you can facilitate it

Criteria16 · 05/08/2025 16:18

Projecting big time, OP!
We are in the exact same situation and this has never even crossed my mind.

wittyretort · 05/08/2025 16:21

I have one very sociable 6 year old and am currently on holiday. Very happy with just one in day-to-day life (lots of cousins, friends etc.) but I am struggling on holiday. She has said she is missing playing with other kids and I am craving some downtime. Think next time we'll go on more of a package holiday with a kids club or go away with friends.

HeyThereDelila · 05/08/2025 16:22

Ignore the first reply. Your family is your DS’s normal, and he'd always rather be with you than anyone else. We have one DS and just make sure each day on holiday we take him to a children’s playground or somewhere where other children will be, like a National Trust place with the “summer of play” activities on. But if you’re taking him to a swimming pool each day where children are that’s fine. Don’t beat yourself up, and never feel bad for having an only child - that’s now the norm in the UK.

CuriousKangaroo · 05/08/2025 16:22

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

Utter nonsense and really cruel.

OP, I have an only child. I worried about this too. We usually go on holiday with others because of it, but this year it was just DH, DD and me. DD, unprompted, said it was her favourite holiday and asked why we always go with others. After a long talk, it turns out she wants family time on holidays, because she feels she has plenty of time with friends and cousins most of the year and loves it when it’s just us.

Ignore MeganM3. Obviously just a sad little person who enjoys saying mean and untrue things from the safety of anonymity.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 05/08/2025 16:23

I only have one.
With two of you you'll be fine to talks turns being fun for him, and you can get him to make friends out there

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 05/08/2025 16:24

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

Mean and rude!

HereForTheFreeLunch · 05/08/2025 16:24

I have three and still my children's favourite holidays are those with friends. (Edit - as teens, at 6 you are still their world)
This is entirely different thing from whether your child is happy playing with you.

You are all probably having a great holiday and enjoying it. You are probably projecting.
Your child will probably have great fun with friends. All these things can be true.

Mrsttcno1 · 05/08/2025 16:25

Lots of children wouldn’t be happy with just their parents for company but that doesn’t mean they need a sibling, they just make friends with other kids to play wherever they are. I’m not an only child but still made lots of friends on all our holidays!

Minnie798 · 05/08/2025 16:25

Just be guided by your child. When he's a bit older, he may prefer to have a friend with him on holidays / days out etc. Which you can arrange. A couple of my friends with an only do this.

wittyretort · 05/08/2025 16:30

In addition to the above, when I feel bad about having an only child, I always think about myself and my sister. We were only 2 years apart but didn't like to play together at all 🤷🏻♀️ & now she lives on the other side of the world so it's not a given that 2+ children automatically means friends for life.

KarmaKameelion · 05/08/2025 16:31

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

Wow. As a mum of one that reply was like a knife….

StarlightRobot · 05/08/2025 16:34

Does the ‘M’ in your username stand for Mean Mum @MeganM3?

SameOldMe · 05/08/2025 16:35

Honestly don't worry about it. On holiday all my 3 do is argue constantly so having siblings doesn't guarantee that they will be playing together. I spend a lot pf time separating mine to stop the constant bickering !

Zezet · 05/08/2025 16:36

I think the people projecting are the ones with one kid, not the first reply! It was quite harsh for a first reply, but I think it's likely the truth for many kids. The single friends of my kids are so much more lonely when we are not home than my kids are when they are not. They do endless trips. I imagine on holidays it would be very boring.

Still, look, kids are going to be annoyed about something. They are bored for lack of sibling, their father worked too much, their mum didn't support their love of rugby, and so on. Being an onelie really isn't high on the list of genuine harms to happen to a child, and it's not even like there's anything you can do about it.

KarmaKameelion · 05/08/2025 16:38

Right - now that I’m over the absolute dick wad of a first response….

honestly, all families are different. Siblings don’t always get on. I have a friend who her and her husband have to take separate holidays one with them such child as they fight too much, friends whose children are best friends and love going on holiday together, friends with a wide age gap who can’t seem to keep both happy… if you ask my brother what his favourite holiday growing up was he would probably say the time our dad took him on safari with just him (large age gap so I was deemed not old enough) and mine was probably a trip to Iceland with just my mum (older sibling already at uni by that point)

you are enough.

first poster can get in the bin.

Shayisgreat · 05/08/2025 16:39

My only DS keeps asking when he'll have a brother and is very upset that he's not going to get one.

There are definitely times that I think it would be helpful if he had a sibling so that they could entertain each other. In fairness to him though, he's pretty good at entertaining himself. On holiday the only thing that he needed at least one of us to be with him was when he was in the pool - he would have glady gone by himself but I couldn't let a 6 year old go alone and even if there was another child they would have needed an adult with them in the pool for safety anyway.

I think families with only children can be a bit more intense as the focus is not as divided but only children are not bored!

changedusername190 · 05/08/2025 16:40

I sat next to a family on the beach last week and their two children did nothing but squabble and wind each other up.if it wasn’t arguing about buckets and spades it was who splashed who and whether the sand kicked on a baguette was an accident or on purpose etc
Please don’t beat yourself up all kinds of families have advantages and disadvantages and these change as the children get older

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 05/08/2025 16:43

You are projecting. I am saying this as it took 3 years to conceive our daughter and now she’s 6 and we’re at our cut off age…so it looks as though she is our only child. We are gutted and cannot bring myself to get rid of the baby stuff!

I am very close to my sister and our daughters are very close also.
We say it’s like having a sibling who you can then go home when you’re sick of each other.
My niece is an only child, my mam is an only child, my dad has a sibling (who is self centred and bloody useless so all parent related things went to him). Looking at this perspective it’s not the end of the world……as long as they have friends/cousins/relationships with people of their own age it’s fine.

PolyVagalNerve · 05/08/2025 16:45

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

What TRIPE !!!
sounds like he is a beloved child who spends time with other kids and for this holiday he is away with family !!
that’s lovely -
enjoy it OP
you haven’t got sibling squabbles
age differences to accommodate
etc

like u, I would have adored a second but it wasn’t to be, and my only has definitely not be a lonely only !!

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 16:45

CuriousKangaroo · 05/08/2025 16:22

Utter nonsense and really cruel.

OP, I have an only child. I worried about this too. We usually go on holiday with others because of it, but this year it was just DH, DD and me. DD, unprompted, said it was her favourite holiday and asked why we always go with others. After a long talk, it turns out she wants family time on holidays, because she feels she has plenty of time with friends and cousins most of the year and loves it when it’s just us.

Ignore MeganM3. Obviously just a sad little person who enjoys saying mean and untrue things from the safety of anonymity.

Why? My experience as an only child was that holidays with just my parents were really boring and I felt very lonely. They didn’t occupy me as much as I needed. I would have to play by myself and that wasn’t great for me as the days went on. And I was jealous of families with multiple kids. That was my experience and it’s valid.
I’m not a sad little person. I have two children and can see the difference as I had only 1 child for 6 years.
I can see the difference between holidaying as a family of 3 and holidaying as multiple families or with more children and the latter has been more fun for my child and for myself as a child.

My opinion isn’t invalid just because it’s not what someone wants to hear.

AnnetteFlix · 05/08/2025 16:48

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him

Nonsense! And nasty but I think that's what you're aiming for.

OP - My DD is 20 now and has the happiest memories of holidays with just the 3 of us.

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/08/2025 16:49

I only have one DS10 and sometimes feel the same as you but he doesn't. We're going on holiday next week, just the 2 of us like always, and he couldn't be more excited!

I probably spend more time in the pool or snorkeling or entering ping pong/petanque competitions than I would if he had a sibling but really I love it too.

When he was younger, we would stick him in the hotel holiday club for a couple of mornings to help him make some pool buddies.

Lazydaze123 · 05/08/2025 16:50

First reply haven’t a clue what they are talking about. We have only one too and she regularly won’t even go to the kids camps because she doesn’t want to miss out on time with us 🤣🤣 she’s 7 btw and has always been like that. Kids thrive on connection with their parents, how lovely to be able to spend quality time with them. Kids also don’t need constant entertainment, often just being together is enough. Enjoy your holiday ❤️

indoorplantqueen · 05/08/2025 16:51

My dd14 is an only child. We’re lucky that we holiday 4-5 times a year, on top of city breaks. We do a mix of just us 3, my extended family, in laws or friends. When it’s just us 3, she has always had great fun. When younger went to kids clubs at times but always made friends and was happy playing in the pool/ sea. Now that she’s older we’ve been able to take a friend of hers on holiday a few times and she has a ball! When I was her age I much preferred being with a friend than one of my siblings. If dd had siblings we wouldn’t take a friend with us.