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Original poster

Abroad with only child and feel like I'm not entertaining enough??

133 replies

Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:24

Me and my husband are blessed with a wonderful son. I always wanted more children but secondary infertility put a stop to this. But of course we are immensely happy with the one we have!

I'm currently abroad visiting my family and we've been to the swimming baths today. Everywhere I look it seems there are siblings and I constantly feel that me and husband aren't enough entertainment for my son, though he seems happy enough with us.... I kind of wonder if anyone is looking at me and thinking he should have a sibling to play with- is this just me projecting?? When we are at home in England were often out with friends children so it doesn't really feel that way.....

OP posts:
Pregnancyquestion · 05/08/2025 16:52

I had brothers so not an OC, but the age gap means by the time I remember days out and holidays by teenage brothers were too cool and choosing to stay home.

I loved holidays, and my mission every holiday was to find friends, which I normally did. I now take my neice and nephew on holiday but my neice is really overbearing on her little brother, constantly mothers him so neither of them have much fun. They both have much better times when they’re taken out separately. Having siblings isn’t a sure fire way to entertain kids. My DW and her sister hated each other growing up too

Myamoth · 05/08/2025 16:52

My daughter is an only, also not through choice. It used to upset me a lot, my father told me "she can't miss what she's never had" which did help a little. I always wanted more but it didn't happen, so it was a little painful when she repeatedly requested a sibling when younger. However I am not an only and I'm afraid that although we are close in age my siblings and I often fought like feral cats when together as children, so siblings don't always mean automatic playmates! Just try to do age appropriate activities that he will enjoy, and maybe at home do things with friends with kids sometimes, it will be fine. Don't waste time feeling guilty over something you didn't cause and can do nothing about.

KarmaKameelion · 05/08/2025 16:55

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 16:45

Why? My experience as an only child was that holidays with just my parents were really boring and I felt very lonely. They didn’t occupy me as much as I needed. I would have to play by myself and that wasn’t great for me as the days went on. And I was jealous of families with multiple kids. That was my experience and it’s valid.
I’m not a sad little person. I have two children and can see the difference as I had only 1 child for 6 years.
I can see the difference between holidaying as a family of 3 and holidaying as multiple families or with more children and the latter has been more fun for my child and for myself as a child.

My opinion isn’t invalid just because it’s not what someone wants to hear.

Show quote history

You can give your experience without utterly sh*ting on the OP. Was your intention to make her feel utterly worthless? because that is what you did, well done if you woke up and decided to do that this morning…

your experience as an only child is valid but I would suggest you offer that up as your experience as opposed to my life is now better than yours OP.

as others have said - having a sibling is not a magic bullet to having better holidays. Some siblings fight non stop. Some have large age gaps.

a better thing to do would be to suggest how it can be better - eg holidaying with friends families or going to hotels with kids clubs.

PersephonePomegranate · 05/08/2025 16:55

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

Plenty of kids enjoy some time with their parents. Kids lives are so busy now with school and activities, its good to have some time to reconnect without distractions.

KarmaKameelion · 05/08/2025 16:57

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 16:45

Why? My experience as an only child was that holidays with just my parents were really boring and I felt very lonely. They didn’t occupy me as much as I needed. I would have to play by myself and that wasn’t great for me as the days went on. And I was jealous of families with multiple kids. That was my experience and it’s valid.
I’m not a sad little person. I have two children and can see the difference as I had only 1 child for 6 years.
I can see the difference between holidaying as a family of 3 and holidaying as multiple families or with more children and the latter has been more fun for my child and for myself as a child.

My opinion isn’t invalid just because it’s not what someone wants to hear.

Show quote history

And for those of us who have one child not by choice - just have a heart. I can’t tell you what your comment has probably done to the OP…

WonderingWanda · 05/08/2025 16:57

I've got two and they rarely entertain one another. 3 yrs age difference and both on very different wavelengths. I was an only child till I was 8 and I loved it, actually disliked my siblings when they came along.

Wemdubz · 05/08/2025 16:58

I had an older sibling but as they were 5 years older we never did things together. And I always used to meet other children on holiday or was happy reading my book as I was a bit of a bookworm! I never envied friends who had siblings close in age.

FancyCatSlave · 05/08/2025 16:59

My DD is an only and whilst she is very sociable and likes playing with other children some of the time she also just likes it when it is the two of us.

I wouldn’t do a fortnight away just the two of us as I think that would be a bit much for both of us, but a week or so is fine.

DD has never wanted a sibling to date!

I love having an Only and as we’re divorcing will be a family of 2. No shits given. You are projecting @Pondering455 unless you have raised a brat that everyone notices because their behaviour is vile, no-one will otherwise be paying any attention.

Strawberrryfields · 05/08/2025 17:00

Ynbu to feel this way but that doesn’t mean you’re right. Currently have one child and not sure what the future of our family will look like due to fertility issues and losses. I’ve definitely felt like this too at times, my daughter is happy with just us but also super sociable and likes to be with other kids. She does often make friends when we’re out and about but I sometimes feel for her that she has to make more effort than those with ready made playmates (I know siblings don’t always get along but it’s easy to see it through rose tinted glasses when you don’t have that).

It’s reassuring to read (most of!) these comments but just wanted to say you’re not alone in feeling a bit inadequate or a little cheated on his behalf at times - Even if neither of these things are true!

I’m sure sometimes parents of multiples feel they don’t have enough time for each child while your son gets your full focus so there really is no right or wrong. Just different families. Hope you have a lovely rest of your trip and enjoy the quality time ☺️

Caspianberg · 05/08/2025 17:07

Not at all. I have an only, he’s 5. I don’t think he ever misses out or feels bored with just adults.

He plays with other kids still in the afternoons, weekends and holidays with a mixture of children he knows and some we don’t ie on holiday he will happily play with children in pool or park he’s just met.

When we go on holiday it’s adults only and him, but we always tailor parts of each day when it’s child focused or activities he would like also.

Florin · 05/08/2025 17:08

We have an only not by choice too. Every child is different in what they want. Our child was absolutely fine just holidaying with the three of us up until 9. From then he wanted some other kids around to hangout with. We are not big resort sort of people so have found a flotilla sailing holiday perfect for us. Although our son likes to be able to hangout with other kids he is very happy as an only child and equally appreciates time just with us or chilling on his own. The flotilla sailing holiday works brilliantly as we get during the day sailing and anchoring off places to have lunch, paddleboard and swim etc but in the late afternoon evening he gets to hang out with the other kids on the other boats on the flotilla. We asked him if he would like to have a friend on board with us next time but he said no he wanted his own space.

WaterOfADucksBack · 05/08/2025 17:09

Ignore that first comment.

user1467576637 · 05/08/2025 17:09

My son would have suited being an only child.

BleuBeans · 05/08/2025 17:10

That was a crap comment from the first person to respond. Maybe this would have been better in the only children board and you could have got some more balanced comments from triangle families

I have an only, DD8 and absolutely love our adventures together. I also do many without Dad coming. Yes there are times I’ve felt guilty in the past but now I know that our family is just right for us. The perk to having an only for me is that my budget is a lot higher for holidays than if I had more than 1. That means we can do lots of awesome adventures together. Her childhood is filled with incredible experiences that I just couldn’t give her with a sibling. My DD is more than happy to spend the time with me but may also find some kids to play with in the play park one day or when she attends the kids club on the Disney cruise. Yes I do a lot more with her than what my parents did with me and my siblings when I was young, but then again, I hope we’ll have a much closer bond from it as she gets older than I do with my parents

Don’t feel guilty, think of the quality time he is getting with you and the experiences he is gaining that you may not have been able to give with more than one

WhyTheHate · 05/08/2025 17:14

I have one child and he loves being the only! Holidays are spent engaging with parents getting quality time or making new friends with other kids. It’s no better or worse than having siblings - just different. Families come in all shapes and sizes! Enjoy your holiday and your family unit.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 05/08/2025 17:20

It really depends on the child and the parents.

I had an older brother and he ignored me from the age of probably 8 until 23. We were just too different to get on. We’re fine now, though not what I’d call close - still too different.

I’m a fun parent on holiday. I like spending time with kids. Other people’s kids love me as I’m happy to be in the pool all day having balls thrown at me, I’m always up for buying ludicrous inflatables and I love a waterpark, never tire of them.

My husband, love him, likes to read newspapers so he’s less kid friendly.

So I guess my point is it is up to you if you provide your child with a fun holiday or not. They probably won’t be holiday with you forever, so enjoy the fun stuff now. Getting them a sibling would not necessarily work even if you could.

Theroadt · 05/08/2025 17:23

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

Gosh that is really harsh, and probably not correct

Greenteaandbiscuits · 05/08/2025 17:27

As others have said - a sibling wouldn't automatically equal a 'better' time for your DS! I recently met 2 younger girls (10 and 8) on a camping trip, they were playing with my DD(3), and bickered with each other the whole time. I saw their Dad later on and we got chatting - he mentioned they're always like that, have nothing in common, and that its bad enough that he usually takes them on holidays separately. No-one is looking, no-one is judging, sounds like your son has wonderful devoted parents only concerned with making the holiday the best it can be for him

StarlightRobot · 05/08/2025 17:30

OP, my dd’s best friend is an only child and she tells my dd how great it is to have all the attention to herself. My dd is jealous 😆

You sound like a wonderful mum and if your child seems content I would be pleased with that.

I had a sibling growing up and he would bully me and was a cause of unhappiness in my life. I would play with friends, and can’t remember him playing with me except when we were very very little. Having a sibling is not always the best.

AnybodyAnywhere · 05/08/2025 17:30

Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:30

Oh goodness me I wish I never asked I feel awful 😞

Show quote history

I was an only child and some of my happiest memories are of holidays with my parents.
Your son is happy and that is more important than comments from people who don’t even know you.
Enjoy your time together

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 05/08/2025 17:35

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

I couldn’t agree less! My DD is perfectly
happy being an only child. She loves to hang out with me and has often said she’s really glad she doesn’t have a sibling. She looks at sibling groups when we’re out, arguing and squabbling and says she’s very glad she doesn’t have to put up with any of that. She also has no interest in making friends with strangers on holiday. We enjoy each others company and have a great time when we’re away.

CatchTheWind1920 · 05/08/2025 17:37

Dartmoorcheffy · 05/08/2025 15:33

Ill be honest. As an only child I really didn't enjoy holidays with my parents. It was quite lonely. As I got older we went away with my cousins and that was much more fun.

Yeah sorry, op. I was also an only child and really found it quite lonely without other kids around. But I'm sure not every only child feels like this.

Denimrules · 05/08/2025 17:40

We only have one DC. He has loads of friends and spends time with them. He also has family hols with us and the 3 of us have a good time. It's perfectly normal and you will probably raise a child with independent values who can enjoy his own company as well as yours and his mates

Corknut · 05/08/2025 17:52

Ignore the first reply, jeez. I don’t think you are projecting, maybe I do too though. I often feel this way when we go away with our wonderful DD who is an only child. She has said a few times over the years she wishes she had a sibling and it does make you feel rubbish when you can’t give them a brother or sister. As others have said, we go away just us but more often than not with family and friends. It really makes a difference when she has friends or family to play with as we are definitely boring now she’s a bit older!

aCatCalledFawkes · 05/08/2025 18:07

I'm sure he loves being with you. FWIW I have two children and as a single parent often feel I'm not as entertaining for them as I would be if I had a partner to help pick up the slack (a nice partner no like my exes).

If you are staying with family is he getting a lot of attention from them? I always over plan holidays and try to look at what activities and things are to do locally, when they were younger I looked for kids clubs as well so they could make friends.