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AIBU?

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Original poster

Abroad with only child and feel like I'm not entertaining enough??

133 replies

Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:24

Me and my husband are blessed with a wonderful son. I always wanted more children but secondary infertility put a stop to this. But of course we are immensely happy with the one we have!

I'm currently abroad visiting my family and we've been to the swimming baths today. Everywhere I look it seems there are siblings and I constantly feel that me and husband aren't enough entertainment for my son, though he seems happy enough with us.... I kind of wonder if anyone is looking at me and thinking he should have a sibling to play with- is this just me projecting?? When we are at home in England were often out with friends children so it doesn't really feel that way.....

OP posts:
TangibleLemon · 05/08/2025 18:08

I have two (one pre-teen and one teen) and they can't stand eachother at the moment, we end up separating on holiday most of the time so they have one on one time each with me and DH.

I'm an only child and unfortunately my mother and her partner were absolute dicks, but I imagine being an only child of two people who love and care about you (and take you on fun holidays) is absolutely awesome. Your DS will be living his best life right now.

houwseevryweekend · 05/08/2025 18:12

I was an only child who did lots of hols with my parents and didn’t need separate entertainment as doing touristy things, nice meals, walks, swimming in the sea was the entertainment! As an adult DH and I only do holidays with each other and we don’t need entertainment or large groups as the activities and company is enough. It’s good for your son to learn how to enjoy his time without always needing people/other kids to entertain him. My nightmare as a kid and adult was group holidays as there’s always a ring leader you end up having to follow and don’t have freedom to do your own thing. Your child doesn’t need organised fun, he needs to explore and experience new places/cultures and his imagination which you can enable.

mamagogo1 · 05/08/2025 18:13

I have two kids but elder has autism, her younger sister often played with other dc who were only children. The trick is to take holidays where they can make friends or do organised activities rather than just hanging out with you all the time (some hanging around with parents is good, just think about variety)

houwseevryweekend · 05/08/2025 18:14

Loved holidays with my parents too, i base my holidays now on how they used to be.

BoredZelda · 05/08/2025 18:16

Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 15:30

Oh goodness me I wish I never asked I feel awful 😞

Show quote history

Pay no heed. My only is more than happy to do stuff with us. She says she’d hate to have an annoying siblings and a squad of family kids would be her worst nightmare! More than an hour with a group of friends and she is done.

Endofyear · 05/08/2025 18:29

First reply is rubbish! I'm sure your little boy is having a wonderful time and enjoying having mum and dad's full attention. Please don't feel bad - I have 5 children and have often felt bad for not always being able to give them individual time and attention. There are pros and cons however big or small your family is! Relax and have a lovely holiday 😊

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 05/08/2025 18:29

Meh , my only refuses to engage with any other kids on holiday. It’s me and her time apparently. Yay me! Grin

nellietheellie75 · 05/08/2025 18:35

Ignore the first reply it's a load of crap. There's 11 years between me and my sibling so effectively an only child (I haven't seen them in.... gosh..... 20 years?!) and I never wished for a sibling.

bumblebeedum · 05/08/2025 18:38

Siblings are no guarantee of a good time, my two fight like cat and dog and are largely happier with our attention one on one. Parenting wise we constantly feel like we don’t have enough for both of time, there’s always a compromise. There are massive positives to being an only don’t forget.

DietQueen2023 · 05/08/2025 18:46

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 05/08/2025 15:41

Bloody hell. That first reply is awful!! I had my first son and he was an only child until he was eleven. He bloody adored being an only child!!! I worshipped the ground he walked on for his first eleven years and he knew how precious to me he was. I went on to have two more children then and I know they’ve never felt how adored he was as there just wasn’t time In the day to sit and gaze at them ☺️Life became busier as it does with more children. Your only child is very wanted and loved and that’s beautiful.

What a beautiful message ❤️

Original poster
Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 20:04

PurpleThistle7 · 05/08/2025 15:34

What a strange first response!

My husband and I have two children but we regularly split them up and each take one to do something - they're very different kids and like very different things so we spend time with them 1:1 a lot. They're delighted to have our full focus.

I have a lot of friends with 1 child for various reasons and those children don't seem any more or less happy than anyone else! Anecdotally my children's friends who are from 1 child families are much more articulate and engage with me much more.

I'm sorry you didn't have the family you pictured when you were younger but you are absolutely providing a wonderful life for your child and he isn't missing out on anything. you clearly put a lot of time and energy into him and care a lot about him and that's all he needs!

Whenever I see a family of 4 I always think they look so very happy, I never notice any bickering etc. so it's probably also me very much idealising a family with several children!
Thank you for your kind words. You sound like a lovely and thoughtful parent and well!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 20:12

bumblebeedum · 05/08/2025 18:38

Siblings are no guarantee of a good time, my two fight like cat and dog and are largely happier with our attention one on one. Parenting wise we constantly feel like we don’t have enough for both of time, there’s always a compromise. There are massive positives to being an only don’t forget.

Thank you for your reply. I never see that side of the coin - I think I've really been overthinking about this and got to do something about this!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 20:13

Endofyear · 05/08/2025 18:29

First reply is rubbish! I'm sure your little boy is having a wonderful time and enjoying having mum and dad's full attention. Please don't feel bad - I have 5 children and have often felt bad for not always being able to give them individual time and attention. There are pros and cons however big or small your family is! Relax and have a lovely holiday 😊

Thank you so much for your kind reply. And congratulations on your family , You're doing an amazing job!!

OP posts:
Stopsnowing · 05/08/2025 20:16

I know a family with an only and they tend to go on holiday with another family with an only of a similar age.

Original poster
Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 20:17

Thank you all so very much for your kind replies- I wanted to get back to all messages separately but I don't think I'll get chance! You've made me feel a lot better - I'll be the most fun parent I can be and will enjoy my holiday even more from now on. 🩷My little boy is happy playing with us and I hope that'll continue.
The ones that were negative about only children, I take them on board to though theres nothing I can do about it so some of them are a bit hard to read....

OP posts:
Skinnyblonde · 05/08/2025 20:21

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 15:28

You are probably right that you aren’t enough entertainment and it isn’t that fun for him. Most people I know with only children do lots of activities/ holidays with other families so that there are children for their kid to hang out with and they can occupy eachother. Friend or cousins.

That seems a bit unkind.

I think the fact that you're asking means you're a great parent! What does your child enjoy? Board games / throwing a ball in the pool? I would just do a bit of that. Enjoy your hols :)

Mewling · 05/08/2025 20:21

MeganM3 · 05/08/2025 16:45

Why? My experience as an only child was that holidays with just my parents were really boring and I felt very lonely. They didn’t occupy me as much as I needed. I would have to play by myself and that wasn’t great for me as the days went on. And I was jealous of families with multiple kids. That was my experience and it’s valid.
I’m not a sad little person. I have two children and can see the difference as I had only 1 child for 6 years.
I can see the difference between holidaying as a family of 3 and holidaying as multiple families or with more children and the latter has been more fun for my child and for myself as a child.

My opinion isn’t invalid just because it’s not what someone wants to hear.

Show quote history

You invalidated your opinion by being completely fucking rude. Perhaps your parents ARE boring? Maybe you just have a greater desire for attention than other kids? Loads of factors play into people’s experiences.

Your reply was twatty.

Skinnyblonde · 05/08/2025 20:22

Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 20:17

Thank you all so very much for your kind replies- I wanted to get back to all messages separately but I don't think I'll get chance! You've made me feel a lot better - I'll be the most fun parent I can be and will enjoy my holiday even more from now on. 🩷My little boy is happy playing with us and I hope that'll continue.
The ones that were negative about only children, I take them on board to though theres nothing I can do about it so some of them are a bit hard to read....

I am an only child and I am okay :)

loulouljh · 05/08/2025 20:26

My two fight alot and it causes tension...sometimes just the one way easier! Plus it is as it is. You cannot magic in another child as much as you may want to. Your son will be fine.

BeatriceAndBeau · 05/08/2025 20:27

DD is also an only child - I used to bring my nephew away with us on holiday (2 years younger, they’ve always been very close) for this exact reason. She was much happier with his company and they could easily spend an entire day simply playing with each other in the pool. When just DH and I took her away we needed to have activities constantly planned to keep her entertained, even at that she was often bored of our company and wanted somebody her own age to relate to after a few days. When she was older we allowed her to choose a friend to bring on holiday with us for the same reason. It made the experience more pleasant for everyone involved.

dancethedancetoday · 05/08/2025 21:00

@Pondering455 OP can I just add - I have an only child and whenever we go on holiday she often makes friends with kids that are actually on holiday with their siblings, but they just don’t want to play with them! So there is absolutely no guarantee siblings would want to play even if they were there. Another thing - this is your little family, and your family holiday to spend quality time together, I’m sure your child gets plenty of child friendly time at home. People seem to have this notion that kids constantly need entertained in the pool or by the kids club, they don’t, they don’t need to be surrounded by plastic toys and a ton of other children to have a good time, being introduced to new foods/cultures and people will be amazing for them and trust me, he will be grateful later in life. I wish I had had the childhood I am able to give my child now! But I was one of 5….

Original poster
Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 21:04

dancethedancetoday · 05/08/2025 21:00

@Pondering455 OP can I just add - I have an only child and whenever we go on holiday she often makes friends with kids that are actually on holiday with their siblings, but they just don’t want to play with them! So there is absolutely no guarantee siblings would want to play even if they were there. Another thing - this is your little family, and your family holiday to spend quality time together, I’m sure your child gets plenty of child friendly time at home. People seem to have this notion that kids constantly need entertained in the pool or by the kids club, they don’t, they don’t need to be surrounded by plastic toys and a ton of other children to have a good time, being introduced to new foods/cultures and people will be amazing for them and trust me, he will be grateful later in life. I wish I had had the childhood I am able to give my child now! But I was one of 5….

Thank you so much for your lovely reply - that's so interesting about befriending other children and their siblings - your child sound very sociable, that's great!

OP posts:
Goldbar · 05/08/2025 21:33

Kids like a mix. It doesn't matter if he has a week or two on holiday just doing things with family. Make the most of the chill time and enjoy it! And then when you get home, book a few camps and organise a few playdates for him. If he's actually bored or lonely, I'd take him to a playground where he can meet other kids, but as you say he seems happy enough, he may just be enjoying the down time and lack of pressure.

PurpleThistle7 · 05/08/2025 23:09

Pondering455 · 05/08/2025 20:04

Whenever I see a family of 4 I always think they look so very happy, I never notice any bickering etc. so it's probably also me very much idealising a family with several children!
Thank you for your kind words. You sound like a lovely and thoughtful parent and well!

Show quote history

I think that’s totally normal. I’d always wanted lots of children but we struggled to have any and then I couldn’t have more. I really idealised the larger families I’d see and it took me a while to adjust my thinking.

I feel super lucky to have been able to have my kids but my son’s pregnancy caused a lot of permanent physical issues. So my version of envious watching other families is seeing mums who can run around with their child and do all sorts of physical activities and whatnot. Am sure not every single family is spending every single weekend hiking and kayaking and riding bikes but sometimes it feels like it!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 05/08/2025 23:20

I often feel like this as have an only. She does make it known she would like a sibling but due to endometriosis and now my age that’s not happening so what can anyone do. We make sure we encourage her to make friends and do stuff with her.