People with sensory processing needs and public

[Hiddendisability12]

I'm not tying to bash People wih disabilities. I work with people wih Autism so I'm not sure if I'm missing something. I'd been to he toilet at a local leisure centre, washed my hands and there was another woman in there one child with her and one on the toilet who she was talking to. The little boy looked about 5 and had a green lanyard round his neck. I honestly didn't think anything of it and assumed it was something to do with his session time at the leisure centre we were in.
I went and dried my hands at which the little boy put his hands to his ears and started a complete meltdown. I stopped but the hand drier carried on. Mum lost her shit altogether and told me I should know better than to use a hand dryer around a child wih sensory integration disorder. I should have been able to tell by the green lanyard? Has anyone heard of this colour coded lanyard thing and how are people supposed to know what they mean am I some ignoramus?

I thought sunflower lanyards were to signify who might need special consideration/ assistance. I wasn’t aware that green meant anything.

There is the one with the daisies on it so not sure if it was that but otherwise no. Sound alike she was just angry because it happened - how were you to know and what were you to have done otherwise?

Batshit.

Sorry, but why didn't she ask you not to use the dryer while you were washing your hands?

Only herself to blame.

I have read a thread just like this on MN before.
Maybe they just assume?
Then again, quite a lot of small children don’t enjoy the dryers as they tend to be (if not fancy ones) blasting them around head height.

That’s the problem with so many lanyards and badges. Nobody has a clue what any of them mean anymore.

There has a been a thread exactly like this was a while back, and people agreed the mum was BVU in that case too.

I also only know of the Sunflower lanyard, and that can cover such a broad range of things anyway. Some people do have more detailed information on the cards but it is not up to members of the public to read them.

Most young kids hate dryers. Mine both did. I would never have shouted at anyone for using them though! Ridiculous of the parent

My son is currently being assessed for ASD and has noise sensitivity. I've never heard of this green lanyard. We use ear defenders when using public toilets because we know there's a high likelihood the hand dryer will be used and cause a meltdown or shutdown

I have a son with severe autism, sensory needs etc. I think you did absolutely nothing wrong. It's nice when people are considerate but you can't expect people to just know.

Please don't take her reaction to heart, I'd suspect she's tired and stressed and wrongly aimed her frustration at you. You couldn't have known. The little boy should have ear defenders, visuals etc or she should have been mindful and asked (not expected) you to not use the dryer when you entered.

Was it a green lanyard with yellow sunflowers on? I personally hate these lanyards as they've lost their meaning since covid. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has one and they cover all sorts.

Ridiculous. The lanyard just signifies disability. It doesn't indicate (unless there's a card hanging from it) what the disability is

You weren't wrong to use the hand dryer; she was probably frustrated at the situation and took it out on you, wrongly. Don't overthink it.

I have but you are nbu to not have heard of it and just because he was wearing one it doesn't automatically mean he's sensitive to noise so it still wouldn't help anyone to know a sunflower lanyard means disabilities anyway as it doesn't indicate what disability/disabilities.

YANBU. And I say that as the parent of an autistic child whose biggest fear is currently hand dryers!

Although I am somewhat surprised that you work with autistic people and aren't aware of the sunflower hidden disabilities thing?

I wouldn’t have had a go at you, but because I have a dc who is like this I always ask the parent if they are ok with hand dryers.

If you work in this friend you should know that it’s “disabled people” and “autistic people” not people with disability/autism.

My daughter was like this when she was younger but that was my responsibility, not anyone else's!

Says who? I use both

My ASD daughter uses the disabled toilet to avoid hand-dryer noise. She wears a sunflower lanyard in situations where she feels she may need to explain that she needs X or Y or where she's going to be very obviously "odd" and wants people to leave her alone to her oddness. Hand dryers were the bain of my life when she was smaller as they'd make her scream but the radar key fixed that issue. I don't expect anyone to know what DD needs because she has a lanyard on. My Neice is also autistic and has a lanyard and happily dries her hands under the hand dryer... One size does not fit all. YANBU.

You weren't to know! Like you said, the coloured lanyard might have been for any reason 🤷🏻‍♀️

My own DD used to have meltdowns at the hand dryer when she was about 3 years old - something she overcame with time. Although, when she did it in a hospital toilet we had staff rushing down the corridor to see what was wrong!

I'm sorry the mum had a go at you, it really wasn't your fault and she could have asked you if you minded not using the dryer.

No it isn’t 😂

OP she was insane. She’s got a rough ride ahead of her if she expects the world to cater to her to this degree, and so does her kid unfortunately.

My son is a person within autism not autistic. Hes a hell of a lot more than his autism and if we could cure or remove his autism we would. Not everyone likes or uses autistic. Each to their own.

Some people prefer people with disabilities as opposed to disabled people. Don’t speak for everyone

Mum's responsibility.
Not yours or anyone else's.

Anyone would feel for the kid, but you can't possibly know everyone else's sensitivities, lanyard or no lanyard ,and she shouldn't have blamed you, much less shouted at you.

Disabled people. It’s from the social model of disability which is preferred by disabled people’s organisations

No yanbu. She was bu to assume you would know and also not to ask nicely for you not to use it.

I'd guess a lot of kids wearing a sunflower lanyard have autism or ADHD rather than another disability, and many autistic children struggle with noise, but if it's that severe it's possibly better to use ear defenders or the disabled toilet as you can't assume everyone will know. Plus people might use the hand dryer when you're in the cubicle. My autistic son tolerates them now but he would rather have an accident than enter a public toilet a year ago so we used disabled for a while.