People with sensory processing needs and public

[Hiddendisability12]

I'm not tying to bash People wih disabilities. I work with people wih Autism so I'm not sure if I'm missing something. I'd been to he toilet at a local leisure centre, washed my hands and there was another woman in there one child with her and one on the toilet who she was talking to. The little boy looked about 5 and had a green lanyard round his neck. I honestly didn't think anything of it and assumed it was something to do with his session time at the leisure centre we were in.
I went and dried my hands at which the little boy put his hands to his ears and started a complete meltdown. I stopped but the hand drier carried on. Mum lost her shit altogether and told me I should know better than to use a hand dryer around a child wih sensory integration disorder. I should have been able to tell by the green lanyard? Has anyone heard of this colour coded lanyard thing and how are people supposed to know what they mean am I some ignoramus?

My grandchild really hates the hand dryer noise and has a melt down. But she just has to put up with it.

She was probably just exhausted and then having to deal with a meltdown. You weren’t to know but just move on. Mum had probably had a tough day.

I thought the green lanyard indicated a hidden disability which could be anything really. I wouldn’t have automatically have presumed it was a sensory issue and would likely have used the hand dryer without even thinking about it like you OP.

My daughter would meltdown from the dryers as well. The Dyson ones were the worst. A lanyard would have been useless even if everyone recognized it. What if we were in a stall and not visible, people would have still been washing their hands.

As a parent of a child with autism we dealt with this by planning our days carefully. If it had been worse or we had been unable to plan as we did, we would have added noise cancelling headphones to the mix.

we spent a great deal of time finding headphones that dd could wear. It was an expensive process, but we eventually found some.

We wanted to be out in the world and getting her used to it. We had to do the work to make that happen. It’s time consuming and expensive. It’s exhausting. It’s just what you have to do. As an adult with ASD, I knew all too well that you don’t get rid of your autism, you learn to manage your ASD. You learn the techniques you need to live in the world.

Yes so I understand reading this thread, I just wish I'd known that when the social worker had a go at me for saying it the "wrong" way.

Yes he is but we tend to use 'autistic people' precisely because we are not a neurotypical person with a disability. Probably pointless, because most people don't understand why many autistics prefer to be called autistics.

Oh I didn't read that properly. You'd remove his whole way of being?

You didn't do anything wrong but God those Dyson dryers are a nightmare for autistic kids and their parents. Of course she was stressed and sometimes when we're stressed we act a bit unreasonably. You really can't judge unless you have your own autistic children.

I don’t think you we're being unreasonable here and this woman sounds entitled however I do hate hand driers and I know lots of other people do (especially children) so I tend to avoid using them myself and probably would have intuitively done so if there was a child with an identified disability

Aye cos your spidey senses knew the hand dryer would flip him out.
She was obviously being unreasonable

As an autistic adult, I hate them too, I’m just past the meltdown stage. From most things you will just see me twinge or occasionally I get this whole body shiver that runs through my body once that I can’t control. People using pencils are the worst. I refused to use them even as a child. Amazing that I didn’t get diagnosed until I was an adult.

The sunflower lanyard is green. The one which signifies additional needs.

But not all children with additional needs will be bothered by a hand drier will they

You didn't do anything wrong. She shouldn't be having a go at you

Can I ask what it is about the pencil? I work with a pre verbal child who refuses to use a pencil but will write on a whiteboard. I’m wondering if we have been missing something!

His autism is a disability and it would be removed or cured if possible. Autism for him isn't an identity, it's a very severe disability.

To get a diagnosis of autism you need to be disabled/ severely impacted by the various impairments that make up the diagnosis.

I have a teenager with autism and severe sensory processing difficulties. The mum was being ridiculous having a go at you but hopefully she realised that later.

Those who prefer autistic don't get to dictate to others how to describe or define their disability.

Just to add those with autism who are able to express this, effectively communicate, argue on mumsnet etc have no idea what it is like for someone with profound/ severe autism and shouldn't presume to talk for them.

I'd remove his severly disabling condition, yes in a heartbeat. It wouldn't even be a question. In exactly the same way I'd cure any disability he has, why would I want him to spend his life with a disability?

You are 100% not being unreasonable. The mum is likely frazzled and at her wit's end, but, my child has sensory needs. They are better (somewhat) with age, but if I knew she was having a bad day I would try really hard to either bring noise cancelling headphones with me, or if not, to find a disabled/mum and child bathroom, or just be very fast. If I saw someone about to use a dryer I would warn my child to cover their ears.

Basically, none of this is on you.

My son has sensory processing disorder and really struggled with hand dryers when he was young but that was for me and DH to manage and we would never have expected members of the public to adjust their behaviour.

My children went through the same issue with the sound of the dryers. I wouldn't have dreamed of telling anyone not to use them. Sometimes someone whould hear her crying about them and not use them. Otherwise it was my problem to navigate around the dryers. She now 9 and ok with them, (waiting ASD/ADHD assessment)

Sunflower lanyards indicate a hidden disability - nothing more specific. I would expect someone with those difficulties to use the disabled toilet.

I am aware of lanyards for hidden disabilities and as my children didnt like them I tend to ask 'is your child ok with the handryer' before i used them.

But i dont think you did anything wrong. If you don't know, you dont know and even then you are allowed to dry your hands..

The mum could have said do you mind waiting til we quickly exit and most people unless in a huge rush would say yes. But I feel sorry for her, she was likely overwhelmed from yet another meltdown and just handled it badly. It happens sometimes.

There’s no right or wrong way!!!

jeez this place at times!

Yes it was just plain green

@FoxRedPuppy they are first and foremost a person not a disability.