Ways middle aged men have told us off this week

[Siblingsadness]

I've got 2 today and it's not even midday yet
I swim every day at 6am . There's normally about 6 of us, today I had the pool all to myself. I swam in one of the lanes as i am working on staying straight during certain strokes. After about 20 minutes a man got in the pool. I've seen him before, he always goes in the unlaned bit and does physio walking up and down.
Today he came over to the lane and said I shouldn't be in there as its the fast lane and I wasn't fast. I thought he was joking so I laughed. He then said he wasn't joking and I needed to move. Of course I told him not to be ridiculous, no one else was in here and if someone fast wanted it, I'd move. He called me a silly batch.
Then just now in tescos, I was in the pasta aisle and a man picked up a jar of pasta sauce and said "is this any good" I said I wasn't sure sorry, I normally just get the passata and put onion and garlic in it. He sort of mocked me and said "ooh good cook are you" I said yes, I'm OK and I enjoy it too. He then said "well at least I can parallel park you silly cow"
Now I know I just encountered 2 nutters (maybe a third is on the way) but I'm a bit cheeky and a cow before lunch today despite just going for a swim and buying cheaper pasta ingredients. 🤣🤣

What a horrible creature!

How did you respond or react to this?

Good grief. What is it with these middle aged men?! I bet they wouldn't dare say it to another man!

A friend was told repeatedly “Let me repeat the question” because he wasn’t happy with her explanation.

Swimming pools are funny places. I saw a man in rhe fast lane once who got reslly annoyed with other people. He got out, threw goggles on the ground, then started effing and blinding and calling other swimmers by the C word.. I think swimming pools sometimes attract nutters.

My line manager is away. While he has been away a number of very serious issues have arisen (in daily contact with more senior members of our team and taking instruction from them when its needed and decisions are always made after a team discussion).

Yet I have had three men (one in similar roles two less senior) advising me very strongly on what should be done and how it should be done, one even offered to make a few phone calls so what needs to be done gets done.

I have responded to their concerns via email, the whole team have also been made aware of their concerns and unsurprisingly they have been ignored

all are middle aged men ....

If a bloke tells you to smile, say you first and when they do say good boy and walk off 😂

It was his damaged ego talking. He was probably making conversation in a lame attempt of chatting you up. Your response will have felt like a condescending slap down to him so he retaliated in a Neanderthal cliched way of saying you may think you’re good at cooking (which you should be as you’re a woman) but you’re obviously shit at driving as we all know that’s man’s domain.

So disconcerting when you’re faced with the reality that there are dickish twats like this meandering around the world in plain sight. Like rats, you’re probably never more than a few feet away from them 🙄

Even as a young woman I used to think that middle aged blokes were miserable twotsits. It's also why I get annoyed when people moan about elderly drivers because I think arrogant SUV driving men in their 50s or thereabouts are the worst.

Followed at some distance by the yummy mummy demographic.

It would be interesting to hear what MNers think who work in customer service roles.

WTAF!

Tesco delivery man today. About 6 foot. Quite large man.

My daughter opens the door to him. She's 20. Petite, but looks her age.

He told her he couldn't leave the shopping with her. She offers to show him ID. He says "I can't leave it with you, love."

I appear from the kitchen to intervene.

He tells me, "It's s lucky you're here or you'd have no shopping!"

I tell him, "She's 20 and would have shown you ID if you'd asked. She's just offered."

He just kept saying how lucky it was I was there and how they can't leave shopping with children and people are always trying to get round it and he's sick of it. Went on and on...

I said, "Yes, I'm sure but she's 20 and would happily have shown you ID so there wouldn't have been a problem."

He just kept repeating how I'd been lucky to get my shopping today...

What a twit!

It's not you, it's them. I encountered nasty behaviour when I lived in the city (not saying all city dwellers are rude!!). Now living in a high pensioner density area and not a lot of bad interaction. Nasty man kicking off at the doctor receptionist when I was in the queue as he thought she was taking too long with the woman in front. He threw his specimen package onto the counter and stormed off after calling her rude when she politely explained that she would deal with him next.

A few years ago, as I started to put my shopping items onto the conveyer belt and, as there was a bit of a gap between the previous customers and my items. A man who was walking closely behind me, threw one of his items ahead of mine to land on the conveyer belt. He then pushed past me with his basket and started to unload. I am a massive introvert but really felt I should assert myself so said, maybe too quietly; "well that was very rude" He got his face close to mine and said 'ARD CHEESE loudly. It was such an aggressive way to respond and I took my few items to the conveyer next door that had become empty. I remember hoping he was single and some poor woman didn't have to put up with that every day.

I don't understand posts like this. Are these women being protective of "their men" who they have observed behaving like this? This constant insistence that it's all in our imagination - really odd. Do they think it's getting them points somewhere? "Men don't like women who point out when they're being dicks so I won't join in and I'll insist that it isn't a thing".

I'm loving these. I whistle a lot, and years ago when I was working in retail, an elderly lady came up to me and said "Women who whistle and hens that crow should have their heads knocked off with a blow" 😂How are so many people so joyless? I can't fathom going up to someone simply for the purpose of making a negative comment about them.

Edited to add: I'm in Ireland, so it's interesting to see the perhaps regional variations on this. Harrumph at the sentiment, though.

I had two blokes say ‘Cheer up!’ to me on a train once. I told them I’d just come from the hospital, where a loved one had died.

Was a lie. But I felt a valid one, because people men who say that shit to strangers women need to learn how inappropriate it is. And because it may’ve spared a woman who was genuinely going through hell.

It seems to be a thing at the moment. Im “lucky” in that I’m young enough to still be vaguely attractive to men so I don’t get so much outright disdain (although being very attractive can also make some men downright hateful as I’ve witnessed in friends) but I work in a male dominated role and am constantly told I’m short, I’m tiny, I must weigh nothing etc despite being of average height and demonstrably perfectly capable of doing my job. Anything to diminish me obviously.

I have an amazing husband, sons, male friends but men in a wider sense seem to hate women even more than usual lately. Source: the internet.

@siblingsadness, from experience, it’s blokes who are in some way inadequate who behave like this - either sexually (inadequate equipment or hopeless technique or both) or they’re a bit thick but just intelligent enough to be aware of it. So they can’t bear the thought that any mere woman could be cleverer or more capable.

I remember reading about the writer Susan Hill who had to take a taxi home just after her baby had died in the SCBU at the John Radcliffe Hospital. The taxi driver - who picked her up from the bloody hospital - said "Cheer up love, it might never happen." It already had - her baby had just died.

Fucking moron.

Many women use “Did I ask for your opinion?” as a response thinking it’s a smart come back however it will usually be met with a smirk and some smart arse remark as the man is thinking “no you didn’t,
but you should have/you need it” etc.
A much stronger version is “And why do you think your opinion matters to me?” Or “And why should anyone care about your opinion?”
Best is a combination “And why do you think your opinion matters to me, or anyone for that matter? Combine with hard stare for the win.

I find that fairly common with men: “You’re not listening”.

To which I tend to reply: “I heard every word [repeat back in summary]. But I don’t agree”.

The patriarchy expects women to be agreeable 😶

I have never allowed a middle or any aged man to ‘telll me off.’ Okay, the exception is my dad (who raised me to stand up for myself).

An elderly male neighbour tried to tell me off recently. He was absolutely in the wrong. Got right up in my face. I stood still, told him to get his horrible finger out of my face. He slunk away when it became obvious that I wasn’t intimidated by him. I knew that he’d recently upset another neighbour’s teenage daughter so I had an advantage over him - I knew he was a coward.

It might get me into trouble one day but I’m 53 and not about to change!

OP was being polite and pleasant. He responded with totally unrelated abuse, as he had probably intended from the start. Just a nasty misogynist.

OP, I’m always prepared to chat a bit if I’m not in a hurry. It’s one of the small civilities that help a society run smoothly. I hope that idiot won’t stop you interacting with other people in this pleasant way.

Not quite the same thing but I worked in an office with a load of women and 2 men..The two men were both really lazy and used to minimise problems just because they were too useless to anything about them . They always had a way of making the women feel that they were making a fuss about nothing even when they weren't.

Please do. It's obviously not on to swear at other members.

I'm the same. I have been in London this past week and the number of rude women has staggered me. They seem to have zero spatial awareness. I haven't noticed that with men at all