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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ways middle aged men have told us off this week

572 replies

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 10:06

I've got 2 today and it's not even midday yet
I swim every day at 6am . There's normally about 6 of us, today I had the pool all to myself. I swam in one of the lanes as i am working on staying straight during certain strokes. After about 20 minutes a man got in the pool. I've seen him before, he always goes in the unlaned bit and does physio walking up and down.
Today he came over to the lane and said I shouldn't be in there as its the fast lane and I wasn't fast. I thought he was joking so I laughed. He then said he wasn't joking and I needed to move. Of course I told him not to be ridiculous, no one else was in here and if someone fast wanted it, I'd move. He called me a silly batch.
Then just now in tescos, I was in the pasta aisle and a man picked up a jar of pasta sauce and said "is this any good" I said I wasn't sure sorry, I normally just get the passata and put onion and garlic in it. He sort of mocked me and said "ooh good cook are you" I said yes, I'm OK and I enjoy it too. He then said "well at least I can parallel park you silly cow"
Now I know I just encountered 2 nutters (maybe a third is on the way) but I'm a bit cheeky and a cow before lunch today despite just going for a swim and buying cheaper pasta ingredients. 🤣🤣

OP posts:
florathedress · 04/08/2025 10:12

That’s a personal best. I would say two in one morning.
I don’t interact with them at all. I find that helps massively if some man asks me a question if I don’t know him personally and give a shit whether he is interested in the Answer. I completely ignore them because chances are they aren’t interested in the Answer they just want an opportunity to call you a silly bitch

CalzoneOnLegs · 04/08/2025 10:14

That’s appalling, I would be really upset. I hope the rest of your day is wanker free

bombastix · 04/08/2025 10:16

Gosh who can say why they need to go out of their way to women they do not know and be rude?

Lonely oddballs.

AM1994 · 04/08/2025 10:17

When I worked on a till at a supermarket and was pregnant an older man pointed at my pregnant tummy and said you know there’s others things you can do like watch TV. I was pregnant with my second child, married, late 20s. Not that that should matter anyway. Then he got his receipt and walked off. I was fuming, as was the lady behind him who had heard

frozendaisy · 04/08/2025 10:18

They wouldn’t say any of this to another man would they?

Lolamorte · 04/08/2025 10:18

Good lord, this has never happened to me! How incredibly rude. I hope you told them so.

pinkstripeycat · 04/08/2025 10:18

Doesn’t really happen to me. If anyone did say anything rude I’d probably say “Well we can all tell you aren’t married as no one would put up with you.” Or “Still live with your mum do you?”

No one could tell me I can’t parallel park as I am a driving instructor and can get in the tiniest space. Men in supermarket car parks do often hit other cars! Ive seen it a few times

Wishihadanalgorithm · 04/08/2025 10:18

I would report the man at the swimming baths to the management. He was deliberately argumentative and abusive out of nothing.

The least that should happen is they speak to him and let him know that aggressive name calling won’t be tolerated and in future he will be asked to leave.

Goldeh · 04/08/2025 10:25

Driving along a residential street, cars parked along the roadside in the other lane. A car comes from the opposite direction, has good visibility and can definitely see me. Instead of pausing at the end of the parked cars and waiting for me to finish passing them, he pulls into my lane. I put the brakes on because he's entirely in my lane and not slowing down. He puts his brakes on, leans out the window and starts giving me a mouthful about having right of way because "you give way to the right you dozy cow". Told him I have priority in my own lane and as the obstruction is on his side, he has to give way to me. He told me I don't know how to drive and "fuck off with your dyed hair". Not sure what my dyed hair has to do with anything but he grudgingly reversed back to the end of the row of cars and offered one last "you give way to the right, bitch" as I drove past.

TwelvePercent · 04/08/2025 10:25

frozendaisy · 04/08/2025 10:18

They wouldn’t say any of this to another man would they?

OP that's really awful. I'd be quite shaken to have 2 encounters like that in one day.

If safe to do so, my go to with twats like this (thankfully I've only experienced a few) is 'Would you say that to a man? Course you wouldn't."

Or have a good laugh at them. Weirdos hate that.

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 10:25

Wishihadanalgorithm · 04/08/2025 10:18

I would report the man at the swimming baths to the management. He was deliberately argumentative and abusive out of nothing.

The least that should happen is they speak to him and let him know that aggressive name calling won’t be tolerated and in future he will be asked to leave.

This is a good point actually. Its at a gym so I can definitely do this and they know who it is as he is a regular member

OP posts:
QuantumLevelActions · 04/08/2025 10:29

That's awful. I would be furious by the pair of them.

TheDandyLion · 04/08/2025 10:31

You were the fastest person in that lane. What a wanker.

TheignT · 04/08/2025 10:31

frozendaisy · 04/08/2025 10:18

They wouldn’t say any of this to another man would they?

Well I'm a woman and no ones ever said it to me. I couldn't speak for all men anymore than I could for all women but I can say I have a son who is 6'4" and he's had aggression from shorter men who sometimes seem to take his height as a personal insult/threat. So yes men sometimes do say this sort of thing to other men.

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 10:32

TheignT · 04/08/2025 10:31

Well I'm a woman and no ones ever said it to me. I couldn't speak for all men anymore than I could for all women but I can say I have a son who is 6'4" and he's had aggression from shorter men who sometimes seem to take his height as a personal insult/threat. So yes men sometimes do say this sort of thing to other men.

Generally speaking they like to boss women about though

OP posts:
florathedress · 04/08/2025 10:33

Wishihadanalgorithm · 04/08/2025 10:18

I would report the man at the swimming baths to the management. He was deliberately argumentative and abusive out of nothing.

The least that should happen is they speak to him and let him know that aggressive name calling won’t be tolerated and in future he will be asked to leave.

They won’t do anything. People just end up getting frustrated and annoyed because nothing happens to these wankers. They bully everyone in their path, If it’s a David Lloyd, they won’t even stand up to men waving their willies around in the female changing rooms pretending to be women in front of the children.

bombastix · 04/08/2025 10:34

I cringe as some of these specimens must be married.

KimberleyClark · 04/08/2025 10:34

The first one,fair enough he was a twat. But the second one, why wouldn’t you just say “I don’t know, I’ve never tried it” instead of going into detail about your own cooking, which wasn’t what he was asking?

bombastix · 04/08/2025 10:35

You don’t owe them answers! Seriously. They are just saddoes who can’t talk to people properly

TheignT · 04/08/2025 10:36

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 10:32

Generally speaking they like to boss women about though

That doesn't mean they don't say it to men and I don't know why but in my over 70 years I've never had it happen to me. I did have an aggressive woman have a go at me last week for putting my GCs buggy in the buggy space on a bus. She was annoyed that a man in a wheelchair was in the wheelchair space as well. Where was she supposed to park her shopping trolley? In the dedicated trolley space? Shame there isn't one.

PollyBell · 04/08/2025 10:36

I have had more issues with women being rude than men but not sure what age has got to do with it

Confusdworriedmum · 04/08/2025 10:37

Well I posted on here about being told off by an older (not middle aged) man because my son was splashing in the pool and he suggested my DS wasn't autistic just badly behaved (not that I really think a bit of splashing is bad behaviour). He didn't call me names or anything though.
Do a lot of you have this frequently? Where do you live? This is the only incident I can think of. I'm interested how he compared cooking to parking. That's just weird. Hopefully you don't meet any more twats today.

nomas · 04/08/2025 10:39

KimberleyClark · 04/08/2025 10:34

The first one,fair enough he was a twat. But the second one, why wouldn’t you just say “I don’t know, I’ve never tried it” instead of going into detail about your own cooking, which wasn’t what he was asking?

Edited

Sounds like he was looking for an opportunity to abuse a woman. Chances are anything OP said would have eventually lead to her being called a silly cow.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/08/2025 10:39

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 10:25

This is a good point actually. Its at a gym so I can definitely do this and they know who it is as he is a regular member

He would get banned for that at my gym. Do it.

TheignT · 04/08/2025 10:41

PollyBell · 04/08/2025 10:36

I have had more issues with women being rude than men but not sure what age has got to do with it

That's a good point. The woman who moaned at me was elderly which I nearly mentioned and then thought why would I particularly as I'm not spring chicken myself.

The one thing where I do mention age is when I say young men are almost always really helpful if I'm carrying heavy bags or trying to get GC buggy and bag into a train. It is a very distinctive thing, sometimes women offer and sometimes older men but if a young man is near they almost always offer. I always think they must love their granny.