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Original poster

Ways middle aged men have told us off this week

572 replies

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 10:06

I've got 2 today and it's not even midday yet
I swim every day at 6am . There's normally about 6 of us, today I had the pool all to myself. I swam in one of the lanes as i am working on staying straight during certain strokes. After about 20 minutes a man got in the pool. I've seen him before, he always goes in the unlaned bit and does physio walking up and down.
Today he came over to the lane and said I shouldn't be in there as its the fast lane and I wasn't fast. I thought he was joking so I laughed. He then said he wasn't joking and I needed to move. Of course I told him not to be ridiculous, no one else was in here and if someone fast wanted it, I'd move. He called me a silly batch.
Then just now in tescos, I was in the pasta aisle and a man picked up a jar of pasta sauce and said "is this any good" I said I wasn't sure sorry, I normally just get the passata and put onion and garlic in it. He sort of mocked me and said "ooh good cook are you" I said yes, I'm OK and I enjoy it too. He then said "well at least I can parallel park you silly cow"
Now I know I just encountered 2 nutters (maybe a third is on the way) but I'm a bit cheeky and a cow before lunch today despite just going for a swim and buying cheaper pasta ingredients. 🤣🤣

OP posts:
LancashireButterPie · 04/08/2025 11:33

Everanewbie · 04/08/2025 11:28

Yes, there does seem to be this phenomenon of middle aged men trying to exert power.

But I've encountered quite a few crazy middle aged women too. I was shopping with my now husband not long after we'd first met, her was wearing chinos and a blue polo. A woman came striding up to him demanding to know when the next bread delivery was due. He politely explained that he didn't work there and that she should speak to a member of staff, but instead of laughing about this, she asked him why he was wearing the uniform if he didn't work there. He pointed out that the logo on his shirt said GANT not TESCO, and she still wouldn't accept it!

Oh God my 14yearv old DD had this in M and S, she was just standing waiting for me and looking at her phone and a man said to his female partner, "and this is why this country is in a mess, staff doing sod all when they should be working".

constantlylactating · 04/08/2025 11:34

Nottodaty · 04/08/2025 11:32

I mostly come across this whilst driving - randomly seems to have got worse recently :( constant expectations to wait for them regardless of whether right of way or whether i was first or not. Yesterday even my husband was shocked as two male cyclists - cars parked on their side of travel - they then rode side by side one across my lane - i carried on but then they swore at me? Plenty of space on their side of the road if they followed each other.

I then arrived at a mini roundabout my right of way - but apparently not as the man drove at me beeping :(

Why the intimidation- not nice experience.

Are you in a smaller car by any chance? I used to have this all the time in my old car (citroen c3) but now I drive a more acceptable sized 5 door fiesta, nobody bothers me!

Jaws2025 · 04/08/2025 11:34

I felt like saying something rude to someone who has stopped the car in a place that blocked the road recently. I didn't as I knew there was the potential for him to get angry and it to escalate. I wonder is this why men turn on women, as they feel we're a safe target for their aggression - if they pick on another man there's always the chance he'll turn out to be stronger/angrier than them.

echt · 04/08/2025 11:35

YABU @Siblingsadness.

The behaviours you describe, while being that of a middle-aged man, could have been that of any man.

Blueskies77 · 04/08/2025 11:35

100% report the man in the gym. It won’t happen but I’d love it if he got banned!

MaMisled · 04/08/2025 11:36

I was walking along the seafront with DH and dogs this morning and quietly having a stern word with him about walking so slowly. A very respectable looking 40 something guy barked " Fucking chill out will you!" Did make me laugh, slow down and lighten up!

LancashireButterPie · 04/08/2025 11:36

constantlylactating · 04/08/2025 11:34

Are you in a smaller car by any chance? I used to have this all the time in my old car (citroen c3) but now I drive a more acceptable sized 5 door fiesta, nobody bothers me!

Show quote history

I agree, we have a tiny Hyundai i10 and a huge BMW X5, I never get any aggro driving the bigger car.

AngryDH25 · 04/08/2025 11:37

They’re awful OP.

I didn’t get told off, but I was in a cafe the other day with my daughter. There’s one queue but you speak to one staff first who takes your order and gives you your food, and then you continue queuing for the till to pay but there’s sometimes a bit of a gap between the two queues. Anyway I got my cake and I realised there was a man had pushed in front of me. I asked him if he’d pushed in, he said he’d already been in the queue and bought something but then the person he was with had decided they wanted a cake too.

He argued with me that he hadn’t pushed in, shouldn’t have to queue again, that he only wanted one thing.

But I was so annoyed because they think a woman with a baby is an easy target, but moreso he had pushed in at the “wrong” point anyway and was going to disrupt the whole system by asking the cashier for a cake!

they’re so bloody self entitled.

HappyNewTaxYear · 04/08/2025 11:37

TheignT · 04/08/2025 10:31

Well I'm a woman and no ones ever said it to me. I couldn't speak for all men anymore than I could for all women but I can say I have a son who is 6'4" and he's had aggression from shorter men who sometimes seem to take his height as a personal insult/threat. So yes men sometimes do say this sort of thing to other men.

Show quote history

Do these men call your son a bitch and a dozy cow? There is no misogyny in the comments to your son. There’s some kind of testosterone-fuelled behaviour going on which is all about their own pathetic ego, yes. But not the fear and hatred of women.

Nottodaty · 04/08/2025 11:38

@constantlylactating nope a large car!!! Hard to miss!

HappyNewTaxYear · 04/08/2025 11:38

MaMisled · 04/08/2025 11:36

I was walking along the seafront with DH and dogs this morning and quietly having a stern word with him about walking so slowly. A very respectable looking 40 something guy barked " Fucking chill out will you!" Did make me laugh, slow down and lighten up!

Nice bit of obedience there

Unilaterallyinsane · 04/08/2025 11:38

I’ve definitely noticed men pick on me more, since my DH died. He was a six feet burly man and never suffered from anyone picking on his driving.

I’m a small, older lady, so it’s open house for any male who feels like having a go.

I’ve tried telling them to fuck off but this doesn’t feel quite right. Perhaps I should just completely blank them, as if I’m stone deaf.

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 04/08/2025 11:39

A man watched me walking my dog a few weeks ago, and came over said "can I give you a piece of advice". I said "no thanks, you keep it". Ever since I've wondered what it was.🤔 Probably nothing important.

prelovedusername · 04/08/2025 11:39

I had a UPS van driver call me a fucking bitch because he was parked across my drive eating his lunch and I gestured (in a friendly way!) for him to move so I could turn into it. Before anyone asks, it was on a main road, there was nowhere else for me to park, or even stop.

I complained online to the company, never heard a word from them, much less an apology.

I’m in my 60s.

tipsyraven · 04/08/2025 11:39

skymagentatwo · 04/08/2025 11:02

Not sure where you live OP, but your story has had more negative and abusive interactions with men and other people than I have had in the last 5 years.

Not sure if its a man thing or a you thing, but then again we only have your side of the story. 🤔

Edited

Wtf?

Jaws2025 · 04/08/2025 11:40

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 04/08/2025 11:39

A man watched me walking my dog a few weeks ago, and came over said "can I give you a piece of advice". I said "no thanks, you keep it". Ever since I've wondered what it was.🤔 Probably nothing important.

Maybe he was a time traveller from the future and was going to tell you next week's lottery numbers?

silkypyjamas · 04/08/2025 11:40

Jaws2025 · 04/08/2025 11:40

Maybe he was a time traveller from the future and was going to tell you next week's lottery numbers?

Show quote history

😂

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/08/2025 11:42

How did you respond? Did you tell them to get stuffed?

TheSaltedCaramelPath · 04/08/2025 11:44

I can help you with the swimming pool incident - after being bullied repeatedly myself.
I’ve swapped my Barbie pink poolside Crocs, for military camo-print - it’s solved it.

I park these prominently at the end of the lane with water bottle and an assortment of toys (fins/paddles) spread out randomly.

Men used to spot “pink Crocs” and overtly bully me, they now walk in, spot “Camo print Crocs” and just keep on walking elsewhere.

I find it helps also to wear a super-sporty / elite athlete vibe / style of swimsuit as a visual deterrent to take me seriously. (Despite being an obese pensioner in real life 😂). It takes ages to choose swimwear without a hint of flowers…

And if men are rude/challenging - a hard long hostile stare into their eyes while maintaining silent eye contact goes a long way 😊

Becs258 · 04/08/2025 11:44

AM1994 · 04/08/2025 10:17

When I worked on a till at a supermarket and was pregnant an older man pointed at my pregnant tummy and said you know there’s others things you can do like watch TV. I was pregnant with my second child, married, late 20s. Not that that should matter anyway. Then he got his receipt and walked off. I was fuming, as was the lady behind him who had heard

Edited

When I was very heavily pregnant with my first, I was working as a nanny to baby twins. A guy came up to and started ranting about benefit scroungers constantly having more babies. I pointed out that the twins weren’t mine and I was working 50 hours a week, but he still kept on- that’s their agenda and why would facts get in the way?

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 04/08/2025 11:45

Jaws2025 · 04/08/2025 11:40

Maybe he was a time traveller from the future and was going to tell you next week's lottery numbers?

Show quote history

Ha, yes. Just my luck. He did have a look of the self important knowitall about him, and I just couldn't be bothered listening to his spiel on whatever it was he may have decided I needed to be told. So over all that nonsense.

ToldoRasa · 04/08/2025 11:45

Sorry this happened to you OP.

When it happens to me, I find comfort in knowing their lives are probably really miserable and full of hate because of it, and mine isn't. It might be childish but it still makes me feel better!

TheignT · 04/08/2025 11:45

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 04/08/2025 11:39

A man watched me walking my dog a few weeks ago, and came over said "can I give you a piece of advice". I said "no thanks, you keep it". Ever since I've wondered what it was.🤔 Probably nothing important.

That made me laugh.

WFHforevermore · 04/08/2025 11:45

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/08/2025 11:00

Worst I’ve had lately was an elderly man working in his front garden telling me to ‘Cheer up!’ when I was hurrying after little Gdd, whizzing along to nursery on her bike - we were running a bit late.
OK, I don’t have a naturally smiley face, but this sort of thing seriously pisses me off.
The next day the annoying old bugger was still there, pruning his roses or whatever, so I stopped on the way back, and told him that I wasn’t in fact miserable yesterday, but unfortunately I just don’t have a permanently smiley face, so perhaps he’d like to refrain from making such remarks to random strangers in future.

Which was rather more polite than I was tempted to be!

Edited

Wow. An old person reaches out with a silly comment, could be his only interaction with another person all day and you fester over the comment.

Refer to him a silly old buggar and then go out of your way to belittle and embarrass him, really nice, hope it made you feel good.

And dont bother replying drip-feeding with all his other silly old comments to you, because i wont be reading them!

gmgnts · 04/08/2025 11:47

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- YouTube

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5WPVLljm1A