Double booked feel guilty

[TheOpalFox]

I have double booked myself . I said I’d have my friends kids for her, but now I have booked a
holiday. I feel so guilty
i cant change the holiday :( but didn’t want to let my friend down
any tips please ? Am I a terrible friend?

In that case, you do a lot for her, so you shouldn’t feel guilty. You deserve a summer holiday and you’ve given her plenty of notice. And she’s said it’s fine, so I think you should move on and look forward to your holiday.

Even tho I had them 2 weeks last year? Everyday?
and il probably help her Xmas?

Does she ever do anything for you?

I do still feel guilty but yeah :(

Then you say no.
Why do you agree to do it if you don't want to?
Do you have children she looks after in return?

I don’t mind helping her. I enjoy helping her but this time yes I fucked up but feel so guilty and don’t want to lose her as. After friend
no. I have a Sen child that no one helps me with

You should learn to say no.

I don’t mind hailing her like I said 2 weeks was 2 much but I didn’t mind 2 days. But even now I have fucked up :( I can’t help but feel guilty but yeah :(

Just tell her now so that she can make alternative arrangements.

I may be selfish but I put myself over anyone else except my child these days.

It sounds as though you didn’t want to do it but didn’t know how to say no. I think a lot of us wcan identify with that. But it is better to be honest and say no than to get into this kind of mess. Next time she asks you for something say you’ll check your diary and get back to her. Then come on here and we will give you the boost you need to say no if that’s what you really want to say.

Does she help you?

😂 😂 😂 Only on Mumsnet.

Ha! Someone else’s kids are not her priority.

Don’t worry about it. You made a genuine mistake and you help her out loads anyway. She’s got 2.5 weeks so sort things out 🤷‍♀️

Hopefully you’d be grateful she even said she would have had them for 2 days in the first place.

The comments on this thread are insane. I can’t imagine any of you leaving a friend to resolve your child care issues.

She should be organising formal childcare.

Enjoy your holiday, OP

Yes, because you agreed to it and let her down.

Say no if you don't want to do it, don't say yes then dick her about.

I guess I'm coming across it like someone who has asked their parents to do a long weekend of childcare or their MIL a few days during the school holidays.

I ask my parents once a year to do a couple of days which means travelling down to us to stay over with the kids including drop off one day. They do 2 days and my MIL does 1 including school pick up.

My MIL offers to have the kids over a few days during all of the school holidays because it saves us money.

Nobody is obliged to have my kids, even their grandparents but it's all agreed well in advance.

Them pulling out would cause me a lot of issues which for an emergency can't be helped and I would understand. If they suddenly said oh we can't help now because they had booked a holiday then yes I would be pissed off.

I know they are our parents and not friends but the situation remains the same. You either say yes and commit or you say no.

They wouldn't be until the OP made a commitment.

Hey, everyone has different values. As I said in my earlier post, my personal preference is to be reliable. It has always worked for me. The OP is clearly bothered about being unreliable, otherwise this thread wouldn't have been started.

Judging by the responses, there are plenty who are very happy to be unreliable.

I doubt the OP's friend will ever ask again, so problem solved.

Thought it might be something like that. Don't feel guilty, she's a user. About time the rug was pulled.

A lot of highly entitled people on this thread, I think.

I'm not sure what's entitled about asking for help.

OP doesn't have to say yes to every request her friend makes.

If you need a holiday for you & your kids then take it but do not offer to help someone if you cannot follow though on your offer or feel it is to much.

Be clear from the start & then you will not feel guilty. Boundaries are a good thing for everyone.

I agree....say no at the time of request rather than not really want to help, let a friend down later & feel guilty.

I was going to help .