Double booked feel guilty

[TheOpalFox]

I have double booked myself . I said I’d have my friends kids for her, but now I have booked a
holiday. I feel so guilty
i cant change the holiday :( but didn’t want to let my friend down
any tips please ? Am I a terrible friend?

Why be so nasty?

That’s the way I see it .
who what’s a flakey friend who lets you down .

You made a commitment. You fucked up. If you were my friend, i’m not sure how I would react - it would depend on why I’d asked for help - but there’s a real chance I would end our friendship if I were relying on you.

It was mean if you booked a holiday after you had agreed to have the kids. Unreliable.

Good idea

if you were my friend, i would forgive you

Your phone fell in the sea. Reminds me of that awful Vardy woman

It definitely wouldn’t be friendship ending for me, I’d be pissed off/upset upon being told and I’d probably end any mutually beneficial arrangements if they were in place as I’d be worried about being let down again, but it certainly wouldn’t come under ‘unforgivable’ for me.

Is your friend going away, will this stop her?

THIS !

I agree @Notmyreality, the responses are totally OTT.

Your friend would not expect you to cancel your holiday, we are ALL juggling very busy lives - work/home/DC/social/hobbies (the list is exhaustive, in fact, just keeping on top of the list is a struggle for me).

Apologise and go and have a great holiday

Precisely. I bet the friend has form for this.

What did your friend say when you some to her @TheOpalFox ?

I think there's some batshit ideas on here.... take her DC on holidays with you - what????
Cancel your holidays????
Ok, you made a mistake. It's shit for your friend, but it's not friendship ending for me. You could try help her to find someone else to look after her DC, but ultimately its her decision.

These things happen. If you had said no, she’d have made alternative arrangements. She has still got a fortnight to sort something out. Honestly, friends who can’t cope with this sort of bump in the road aren’t worth having.

It takes 2 seconds to plug your phone in and charge it, maybe 10 seconds for it to load up and show your calendar.

When did you book the holiday and why couldn’t you have waited to check your calendar/plans before booking? How did you even book it?

YABVU and I don’t know why you agreed in the first place. Don’t agree in future if you can’t follow through.

Echocing others in saying I would be really pissed off.

Apologise to her immediately and stop the faux stuff. Offer an alternative and get a calendar

I don’t think anyone would believe this was a mistake. You just didn’t give a shit about the commitment you had already made.

Even if someone had agreed to have my kids, then had the option to go on holiday, I’d expect them to say sorry but I’ve got the chance to go on holiday now. I’d have said, fine, thanks for offering, no worries. Because it was a favour, not an obligation. The only childcare you can rely on is formal childcare.

Did you not read the OP's second post?

Jesus, over not having having your kid.
If someone had double booked, which has happened to me in the past and she apologised. I'd be like, well you offered to do me a FAVOUR. So you can't do it now, bit crap but not end of the world/friendship type crap.

For what it's worth I don't think it's unforgivable but you need to fess up as soon as possible to give this person the best time to make other arrangements. I'd be far more pissed off if the person had left it until the last minute to tell me because they were scared.

This.. can’t believe the people saying cancel the holiday..

I wouldn't be saying cancel the holiday but I would be very cautious around this 'friend' and reluctant to make any arrangements with them again, childcare related or socially, and I do think it would a trigger to realising the friend is not a genuine friend.

I don't agree.

My friend asked me if I could look after her pets whilst she was on holiday. I checked my diary, I had nothing on that week so I said yes. It was then my responsibility to not double book myself so that I could look after her pets.

I have no legal obligation to look after them, they are her animals but I wasn't doing anything else and she will return the favour for me.

Genuine mishaps happen, I can be very scatty and I am exactly the type to double book myself but if that happened I would try my best to put it right.

If you agree to do something regardless of what it is then you need to honour that commitment unless something happens that is out of your control.

Childcare related?

Nobody has to help you with childcare.

I think it’s CF asking someone to have your kids for two days in the first place, tbh, let alone kicking off and ending the friendship if they can’t.