Double booked feel guilty

[TheOpalFox]

I have double booked myself . I said I’d have my friends kids for her, but now I have booked a
holiday. I feel so guilty
i cant change the holiday :( but didn’t want to let my friend down
any tips please ? Am I a terrible friend?

A mistake was made, but I wouldn’t be cancelling the holiday or being out of pocket changing the dates for someone else’s child.

I guess it depends on the actual circumstances. If the OP is having friend's children while friend goes shopping, then yeah, maybe holiday wins. If OP is having friend's children while friend moves house, or has an operation, then that would be a commitment that friend is relying on and holiday does not win.

Someone asked the reason above, but the OP didn't clarify.

Maybe I am old school, but if I make a commitment to do something, I don't let the person I've made the commitment to down just because I can't operate technology something better comes along.

I think @TheOpalFox is getting a hard time here. She booked a holiday in a bit of a rush (with her phone not charged) and is also someone who is kind enough to look after someone else's kids when she can, and who the friend must really trust.
In your friend's shoes I'd be a bit pissed off immediately as it would cause hassle to try to find an alternative at short notice. I wouldn't fall out with you about it. If it's a pattern of flaky behaviour I'd chalk it up and mentally file you as flaky but if it was a one off I'd just move on continuing to be friends. It's a "one awkward conversation and move on" level drama, not a "you need to cancel your holiday or you're a bad person" level drama. Enjoy your holiday!

my own dm forgot she had agreed to have my ddog for 3 days while we went away
i havent forgotten, it was 20 years ago, but it was sorted out.

if it is so she can work, she will have to use her leave, or find an alternative provision. dont beat yourself up op @TheOpalFox

This

This

Kind enough to ‘say’ she’d look after the kids . Who books a holiday with phone uncharged? Don’t believe it

Classic Mumsnet comment 😆

Err... On the computer...in the travel agent etc

Having a charged phone isn't a requirement for booking holidays...

goodness sake
so ott asking you to pay for your df's childcare!

just apologise and move on op

Agree. Many people even use their phones to book holidays.
Even if rushing to book surely you would check you had the dates correct.

Is it a UK holiday? Could they come with you? If not I would offer to pay for her childcare elsewhere.

What?? So plug your phone in and check your calendar before booking a holiday….. obviously! Wow some people really astound me 🤣

that is so ridiculous!

Surely you would know that you had something big to do around that time? Surely you would have had some dates in mind when you did something as big as booking a holiday? Especially given the expense involved.

I think it is good that you are not having her kids. We all make mistakes but your “flakiness” around this shows a level of disorganisation that I would not trust with children. Also it seems that her children are not that important in your list of priorities. This may not be true but this is what comes across.

I would not want to be in your shoes. She is going to be rightly p*** when you tell her.

Her childcare is not your responsibility. You were doing her a favour, you made an error and booked a holiday at the same time. It's shit but your friend will have to deal with it. She will likely be annoyed for a while, but she'll get over it.

You are a great friend who agreed to two days of childcare to help someone out. You made a mistake. Your friend can be pissed off with you but they are her kids so she will have to make other arrangements. Don'f flagellate yourself over this.

I don’t either. It sounds as though op is making an excuse because she has decided she doesn’t want to do it.

Agree. OP agreed to do this as a favour, not a legal obligation and the child is not her responsibility. When someone does us a favour, it's on their terms and there's always a chance it could fall through or be retracted. The child's mother needs to book and pay for a solid childcare arrangement if that's what she needs.

Have you got a mutual friend who could take over the childcare? Can you pull in a favour from someone so you’re not letting your friend down?

I think it depends on why you were having them for a friend. Is she having a jolly herself, does she have lots of childcare options or is she having a minor surgery for example. And you are her only childcare. No family etc

if it is something like surgery it’s really bad form and I would be leaving the friendship if this was done to me .

Your friend shouldn't be using you for childcare. That said, obviously it wasn't great to double book, and you should apologize profusely. But it is CF behaviour to treat friends as childcare, so don't feel too guilty. Does this friend have form for dumping her kids on you?

Is it? She asked and op agreed.

She may have guilted OP who felt she couldn't say no.

Why all the ridiculously emotive language like dumping, using, cheeky fucker...

The friend asked and the OP agreed. The.friend has done nothing wrong. You make it sound like she's just ditched her kids on the OPs doorstep without discussion. 🤨