To be absolutely distraught

[Adioss]

So, my ex and I split 2 weeks ago and he is already seeing somebody new. We were together for 18 years with 2 children. He said he fell out of love a while ago but it still hurts like hell, the kids have already met the new woman and I am utterly heartbroken

What a shitbag. You will realise that you're well rid but I know that you're in shock now - lots of crying to do. Try not to slag him off to the kids though, it's better to let him hang himself.
Best of luck ❤️

What a completely selfish man I'm so sorry your going through this. Sadly it sounds as though he's in lust with this new woman once they eventually get into the usual relationship habits real issues etc I expect that it won't be all roses as it is now sounds as though he nay have been having an affair. Once the excitement wears off he will regret his actions. In lust is really difficult to detach from but he will realise his loss once the true relationship with his new woman gets dull by then its too late he's lost his wife and kids for basically a fix. You on the other hand now have a choice live your best life or become bitter it's going to hurt like hell I'm not going to lie it's the same as a death but you have to remember your worth and put you and the kids first. Start seeing your friends seek therapy anything that makes you happy yoga sports walks do it buy a dog my dog is my best friend and so loyal. Take care of yourself , it's really bad what he's done introducing to kids but they will be ok with your support. Xx

Completely agree because he's lusting and thinking with only his xxxx midlife crisis maybe

This and he's not even kind enough to hide it for awhile.

This happened to a friend of mine. The ex’s children hated him and his ‘new’ relationship eventually imploded. Five years on she is in a much better place than him. Hang in there and get a good lawyer.

So sorry, he is a lying canute - kiddies don't understand the implications - so please don't hold that against them.....whatever their ages are.....they will in the long term though.....think she may well be 'nice (for the moment) - (I am thinking the Zoflora advert - floats around in a nice dress etc)..... but he isn't......and I am guessing that she doesnt quite know what she is taking on - 2 x kiddies - all candyfloss and fluffy rabbits, so to speak - to start with, but you are their mum and it wont take long until they realise what a canute he is and what he has done to break up you family. Please be brave, get your finances sorted, see a decent family solicitor asap and do what you can to move on. I know easier said than done, but you have done nothing wrong here, best wishes, things will turn out right 🌹(he isn't worth your pain, and likely that it wont last). xx🌹

This is more common than you think, you aren’t the only one and others have got through it you will too.
end that relationship won’t last

Obviously I was intending to find him, talk to him and “befriend” him and in doing so ask stuff like how long they’ve been together etc. when alcohol is involved one of them would slip up and reveal they’ve been together longer than 2 weeks!

Hi, I'm sure this is obvious but please make sure you write everything like this down. It may be of no help but you do lose track when they start stuffing you around.
You will get through this, it's a truly horrible feeling in your chest that just won't go for a while but it honestly does ease and then you start remembering all the crap they've put you through. Do what you need for now but start organising, checking bank accounts - just get proactive. Good luck x

This is a good idea. Start documenting everything. Do you have anyone in real life who can support you?

I’m so sorry OP I’m sending you virtual hugs.
You are not thinking straight, but sadly he has obviously had time to plan this meticulously so can you seek the help of a very good friend or relative to help you? Stop yourself being sad by immersing your spare time and energy into checking all the financials, joint assets, house deeds etc, you need to be ready to stand up for yourself and the kids.
What an arsehole potentially stopping you getting to work and letting down his children. You owe him nothing anymore so don’t ‘do him down’ to the children but do not cover for him and do not tell them any kind of white lie on his behalf. Go with the facts and it’s OK to say you don’t know why he didn’t turn up etc. Keep telling them how much you love them but it’s not your job to tell them how he feels about them, only he can do this. He is no longer your concern.
Be kind to yourself and you’ll get through this.

What do you know about the “new” partner? Is she a colleague? Similar age? Any kids? Is she newly single as well?

I find it hard to believe how insensitive he must be to your feelings and his kids feelings.

This is really tough for you

But, trust me, you will smile and laugh again in future. I know it's hard to imagine right now. Hang in there. You're stronger than you know

Sorry I tapped Yabu by mistake. Op it’s probable she was in his life a while before you split. I know it’s horrible now but keep your head up and remember he’s more than likely been cheating so you’re better off without him, and if he hasn’t been cheating the fact he can move on so fast means he’s fickle and immature.
He’s someone else’s problem now and the same will be done to her, either that or he’ll realise the grass isn’t greener once the novelty wears off and he’ll want to come crawling back.
Don’t let him you deserve better.

She is a colleague I believe, also his best friends sister. She has a 13 year old boy.

he hasn’t thought about our feelings at all,

Oh lovely this sucks big time. I was with OH 17 years. Left me and started dating his work colleague who had come with her family to share Christmas with us 3 months later. Id had an inkling for about a year but thought no woman would do that come Christmas day. Anywho im just letting you know the pain is horrendous and you are allowed to scream shout cry and not get dressed if you dont want to BUT when he collects or drops off the children put your big girl pants on get your lipstick on straighten your crown and show him your living your best life. You also have every right to tell him that you will not accept him introducing him to every person he starts dating. Id also tell him that if she is important enough to have destroyed an 18 year relationship then at least have the balls to tell you. But please please dont let him see what its done to you. Sending gentle hugs and healing thoughts 💖

Sorry I tapped Yabu by mistake

You can change it.

He is disgusting for introducing his children to her after his supposed '2 weeks' (and, yes, he clearly had her lined up and ready to go to).

Prioritising his penis over his children's best interest. They shouldn't be involved at all for a very long time in any new relationship.

I’m so sorry he’s putting you through this. And I hate to say it but it feels quite premeditated. Did you have any sense this was coming?

Please see a solicitor, copy all messages and tape conversations it you can.

Eugh!

I hate this for you. It shows he probably checked out of the relationship ages ago but I find men rarely leave a relationship till they have the new woman lined up.

I do find it is inappropriate for him to introduce your kids to a new woman after 2 weeks though.

This x (ASAP)

Actually this.
I was thinking oh they became official two weeks ago but with her meeting the children it has been a lot longer than that.

My DH did this to me 2 years ago. I'm getting on with life but spent months in despair. You will not get over this quickly and anyone that thinks you should just be abuse he's a complete shit aren't being helpful. You need to mourn the end of what you thought your life was.

Good idea. He has shown no thought for you or the kids so hnow you just have to protect you and them. Forget him. Seriously. Don't show loyalty to someone who had treated you like dirt.