To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

Since she is an older child and not causing any trouble, I don't see an issue with this (I hire a fortnightly cleaner too). Childcare is extortionate and hard to find, especially during the Summer holidays.

This cleaner didn’t bother to ask if her child could stay in the house so she’s not in the category of a good cleaner. Good cleaners are difficult to find. The op doesn’t have one now. The problem for me would be the possibility of an accident or something being broken and not declared.

How many hours a week is the cleaner there? I imagine only a few? So I would not see this as an issue at all (and if I had been the child I would have been delighted to have a quiet place to read a book for a few hours!).

BTW not everyone who works from home has the option of going out whenever they choose. I don't and consequently am often home, and having confidential Zoom meetings while the cleaner is there. She just doesn't come into my office, that's all. If there was a quiet child downstairs it would not affect me either.

Obviously OP saying don’t bring the child anymore, meaning paid for childcare potentially, will make that more accessible.

I wouldn’t care about this if I really liked my cleaner. If the child was bring loud and wrecking things then fine but say quietly on the sofa watching a programme on her iPad? Not a problem.

Good cleaners are gold dust.

Just to remind you of OPs description of her cleaner

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy

quite the glowing reference, wouldn’t you say?

Many of these are men... And therefore aren't primary carers...
Also they'll earn LOADS more than cleaners to afford childcare.

Luckily or unluckily, I have no items my house that I would care enough about to be very upset about if they were damaged (apart from my computer, and the child wouldn't be near that anyway).

She should have mentioned it. But I do think you are being unreasonable. For two hours a week, you can't manage having a child in your house, sitting on your sofa looking at her iPad? If you can't then I think you will will need to be prepared to get another cleaner.

I used to be a cleaner and hated anyone being home while I cleaned. It made me uncomfortable. If I had a cleaner I would definitely go out and work elsewhere while they cleaned. When I had too much work on the clients who were at home got dropped first.

@Informercera
after reading your update I can only hope that your cleaner leaves and finds a job with one of the many kind hearted folk on this thread.

In your op you describe her as someone you value and would like to keep but despite all the comments on here, you seem oblivious to how ridiculous you’re being.
My friends who have cleaners have so many awful tales about unreliable, incompetent & untrustworthy cleaners - let’s hope you don’t bitterly regret spoiling your good relationship with a cleaner who sounds like an absolute gem.

The joy of being a self employed cleaner….. keep the clients you want!

Where’s the bit saying that her cleaner asked her about bringing her child - no I don’t see that either. So not honest or reliable. The risk of accident or damage needs addressing - even theft.

I've just read the update.

You are obviously very uncomfortable with this well-behaved child in your home and are going to speak to your cleaner - that of course is your right to do so.

It's also her right to dump you.

Her mistake was not ask you first, but that's the situation.

Employing someone in your home is often a give and take situation and that's why many women choose cleaning rather than say part-time retail work because they know they can maybe tweak the hours, bring their child, walk to work etc.

And the take from the cleaner's side is that the client might ask for extra favours like walk the dog, do some shopping, change the day at short notice, do extra hours when having house guests etc.

If you want to keep this reliable and kind cleaner you might have to be flexible.

Yes why not. If not being noisy or a nuisance what's the issue.

and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs

are you sensitive? This comment has to win an award

Oh god theft to add to the whataboutery!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I don’t think you are being unreasonable to have concerns . I honestly don’t know the legal implications and I can understand it feeling a bit odd as you aren’t a parent yourself . It is also unprofessional.

But - I personally would allow it. Childcare is extortionate and this would probably affect her financially if she couldn’t bring her child. I would maybe have a chat with her , tell her your worries . Say you are happy for her to continue bringing her just in the holidays ( if you are willing obviously - it’s your choice ) but maybe draw up an agreement - something that states she is liable if her child were to break something but that you don’t see it being an issue as she sits quietly , and I would also say that you accept no responsibility if something were to happen in your house - make it clear your house is not a house set up for children but you’re happy to turn a blind eye to allow her to continue working as long as you aren’t affected.

It’s a nice idea that a pp said to get in some child snacks but I personally would not do this - she is there to clean , you don’t want crumbs and wrappers!

Although - I say what I would do but I do not have a cleaner , I am the personal cleaner for my children 🤣

Except the OP literally says that she is an excellent cleaner.
It's depressing how mean some people are about a quiet, still 10 year old child.

That's not a lot for self employed.
Also they rarely do 40 hour weeks because of travelling.

Pa's cleaner only often manages 5/6 hours daily cos of travelling /parking...

It's no way comparable to an office job

and are like hens teeth so unlikely anyone will complain about them taking the child to work with them - cos you could end up waiting another month to get your plumbing, electrics etc fixed

Of course it feels strange - OP has no children so is not used to this and her home is her personal , private space .

But the plumber, electrician etc is a skilled job which you have to go to collage and get a degree so thier pay dosnt compere to a cleaner. Also there is quite a few female plumbers, electricians etc.

But she’s not because she has no respect for the client and has just brought her child along without asking. The cleaner also has not thought about safety and insurance. Is she insured in case of damage or accident? Would it be for the op?

I don't think you're unreasonable to feel uncomfortable. I personally would just go with it for the duration of the holidays though if she's a good cleaner but I would also have expected her to give you some kind of warning. You should ask her directly what he plan is.