To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

Thank you so much to everyone who’s replied - I didn’t expect this many responses and I’ve read every single one. It’s been really helpful to see things from different angles, even if I still feel a bit conflicted.

Just to clarify a few things that came up - no, she didn’t ask in advance if she could bring her daughter. The first time it happened I thought maybe it was a one-off emergency, so I didn’t say anything. But this has now happened three times in a row and I’m realising it may be the plan for the whole summer. Her daughter isn’t disruptive, but she is there for the full two hours and I do hear the iPad sometimes. It’s not loud, but it’s not silent either. More than anything it just changes the feel of things - it’s different having a child in the house, even if she’s well behaved.

I should also say that I really like my cleaner and trust her completely. She’s been brilliant over the past year and has even picked up on little things around the house that I’ve missed. I don’t want to upset her or make her feel like she’s done something terribly wrong, especially when I know childcare over the summer is expensive and hard to arrange.

At the same time, I think it’s reasonable to feel unsure about the boundaries here. I’m paying for a professional service, and it just feels a bit off having someone’s child sitting in my living room while I’m upstairs on work calls. I don’t have children myself, so maybe that’s part of why it’s feeling intrusive. I also worry about the what ifs - like if she had an accident or touched something fragile.

I’m going to speak to her, gently. I’ll try to keep it kind and non-confrontational - just say I’ve noticed her daughter’s been coming and that I do understand the challenges with childcare, but I wasn’t expecting to have someone else in the house and it’s made things feel a bit awkward. I’m hoping she’ll understand and maybe has an alternative arrangement lined up soon anyway.

You should check out the charges for childcare and you will see it would not viable to pay for it whilst on a cleaners wage. My mums carer often brings her son with her when he can’t attend school and in the holidays as he has severe autism, my Dad fully supports this as he understands the situation. YABU.

I don't think op being worried about being responsible in case something happens fits your description. If I worked at the supermarket and took my child to work and I asked if its ok, she will just sit there and read a book, would my employer say ok.. no they would not and for good reason. .its the work place. And op is feeling worried the same way a big company would. Which is concerned!

YABU
Bless her and bless the little girl.

I used to take my child to work in a shop in the holidays. As a baby he sat in his pram and watched life go on. When older He sat quietly out the back with colouring etc. the only time I couldn’t take him was during the toddler years as it wasn’t safe. It was a family business. Did him no harm whatsoever. It’s a very common thing in family run retail businesses.

does kids no harm to see their parents out working.

the main issue is safety and supervision which is why it doesn’t work in many scenarios. I wouldn’t stand for a badly behaved kid though and I wouldn’t inflict my badly behaved kid on others, which seems to be much more of an issue nowadays.

This
Similar to my childhood.
YABU OP

I remember being at home alone for a couple of hours in the mornings while my mum went out to clean. I was about 6 or 7. She had no option and couldn’t take me with her (it was a business not people’s homes). That’s the probably the only other option for this woman. I’d always be happy for my cleaner to bring her child if she needed to, rather than risk the child having to be left at home alone.

I would say it's a non-issue. Must be hard for the mum to afford childcare and the girl seems so well behaved.

My mum was a cleaner when I was a child, and I remember sitting in many living rooms in the summer holidays with my dolls. I can’t often remember the homeowner being there at the time but it was never a problem with them that I was there.

The scenario you've described would not bother me at all, if it remained that way and was school holidays only.

However this is exactly how my former cleaner first brought her kid to my house. She was a single mum and always struggled during the holidays, tbh I was happy to help her out. Then one day in term time she brought him along (without asking) because he was recovering from norovirus. Let herself in and parked him on the sofa, the first i knew of this was arriving home 2 hours later to find him sat there and he told me he'd had D&V!! All of us, including my 6 month old baby, got norovirus.

Since then there's absolutely no circumstances under the sun I'd have a cleaner or any other tradesperson bringing their kid along. Your house, your rules.

I find this bizarre! I’ve always WFH while my cleaner is there. I have a separate office in the house and it doesn’t disturb either of us in the slightest.

I'd be fine with it if we are talking about a kid over the age of 8 who's just going to sit reading or playing on a tablet. Wouldn't mind them playing in my garden etc.
Ultimately childcare is so bloody expensive most people on here agree that you can wfh fine with a 9 or 10 year old about so I wouldn't have an issue with a tradesperson bringing a child that age if it's school hols.
Maybe I mind less because my own kids are this age, I'd probably just suggest the kids play together. But then I think a bit of goodwill goes a long way with tradespeople.

It isn’t kind though, even if you speak in a kind way, you aren’t being kind.

YANBU.

I think rocking up with her child without even asking if it's ok is CF behaviour. She needs to be in childcare.

You have a great cleaner, reliable, efficient, kind, all positives compared to what you normally read on here, on their phone, not completing tasks, arriving late, leaving early.

Childcare is so expensive and this child sits quietly, isn't running all over your house. I would let it go. It might be that next year her Mum feels comfortable enough to leave her alone as she will be starting secondary. You are paying for a service that hasn't changed.

If you do complain be prepared to lose the cleaner and then have to find a new one.

If she is a good cleaner I would definitely put up with this over the summer. Good cleaners are like gold dust! If she is sat quietly on your sofa I wouldn’t have an issue at all with this.
i had a situation many years ago when my regular cleaner bought someone with her to help her clean - and she brought her very young child with her. This little girl played in my daughters room and got her hamster out of its cage (unsupervised) I did have to raise this as my daughter was really upset that her room and hamster had been played with. I also felt that this little girl was at the age where she needed close supervision rather than being left alone to play in my daughters room.

Sitting on the sofa quietly watching her IPad / reading - wouldn’t bother me. However, I do think she should have asked just out of courtesy.

You are still receiving the service you are paying for. The child isn’t making a mess or causing a disruption. I do think she should have said in advance though to you

I know this isn't the point of the thread but cleaners certainly aren't coming out with £20-25 an hour, they have to buy cleaning products, run a vehicle and they are only paid for the hours they do, traveling time isn't paid for. When I was a cleaner people would often say "can you come at 10am" which is fine except it means by 12pm you've only been paid for 2 hours because you can't fit another clean in earlier than that. Cleaners really aren't making a killing.

Poor woman. She’s a cleaner. She has a child. Not only would I not mind, I’d probably be making her a sandwich too!

As long as the child is well behaved and doesn’t impact on your work I’d let it go. Just make sure your cleaner doesn’t let the child ‘help’ with the cleaning or have access to hazardous materials or you could find yourself liable in the event of an accident. Does your cleaner have public liability insurance ?

Good cleaners are like gold dust. I wouldn’t risk losing this one for something that doesn’t really impact you.
I might gently ask if this is the plan for the whole summer holiday period.
As the cleaner has worked for you for a year presumably including other school holidays and this is the first time this has happened I might wonder if there’s been a change in circumstances at home?

Tell her that she can’t bring her child with her whilst she works at your place. Perhaps stop the cleaning contract until back to school or look for another cleaner. I wouldn’t have a child unsupervised in my home just in case something happened. Your home is your workspace as well.

It wouldn't bother me one bit.

A cleaner I know is raking it in because she has a lot of clients. Not every cleaner is poor