To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

Not the greatest of arguments
No I don’t expect danger everywhere - I just know what can happen in these kinds of situations . I’m sorry if the difference is too nuanced for you to understand.
My life is not awful -it’s pretty fabulous actually 🤗

That's fair. I think OP thought it was a one off but then it has happened every time since.

I probably would've asked the first time.

Yeah yeah. Your post is full of paranoia.

Ok you’re the issue here. Firstly you have told someone that they don’t actually think what they’ve said they think and now you’re telling me what I choose to see? That’s very problematic. No one can have a conversation with someone who dictates what they believe the other person is thinking and saying despite evidence to the contrary. There’s not point discussing it with you because you choose not to hear what is being said and quite literally reimagine aa reply that works better for you.

Heres some news for you - accidents happen - this means that the breakage wasn’t intentional. Have you broken something unintentionally? Of course you have and the same for your family members and friends.

My guess is that you stand a good chance of ending up without a cleaner this summer if you dont want her child there, as it will probably be her alternative arrangement. It is hard to find someone to watch young children during the holidays if you cant pay childcare. If you are paying for professional services, do you mean, tax, insurance and a contract or that she is legally self employed and gives you a proper bill? Or do you mean she is good at her job but working cash in hand?

Either way, you should be asking her, not mumsnet. And it is so obvious you dont have much contact with working mothers. Summers used to be my nightmare time. Even the wealthier ones have problems in the summer holidays

Do you think that the cleaner would want this charity? Probably not as the child is unsupervised and she might be embarrassed to receive this benevolent gift. Donate to those in need instead.

@Informercera I’m going to speak to her, gently. I’ll try to keep it kind and non-confrontational - just say I’ve noticed her daughter’s been coming and that I do understand the challenges with childcare, but I wasn’t expecting to have someone else in the house and it’s made things feel a bit awkward. I’m hoping she’ll understand and maybe has an alternative arrangement lined up soon anyway.

You can speak to her as gently as you like but don’t kid yourself that you’re being kind. If you understood the challenges with childcare, you’d probably have a kinder view of her situation. The fact that she didn’t ask you suggests that her other clients are fine with her bringing her child… probably coz they know it’s not forever and it doesn’t impede her from doing her work. Your choice, though, but at least be clear about your objections. Making “things feel a bit awkward” sounds very vague and confusing… although, by the sounds of it, you don’t have a concrete reason anyway.

Those saying that the cleaner isn’t paid enough - how much do you pay your cleaner if you have one (I don’t) and why do you choose to pay what you think is pennies instead of a living wage?

Not to mention the fact that the child has an ipad and they don't come cheap.

Mine charges £15/Hr.

Although the OP has shown no concern about damage or theft…..

Honestly, your need to keep on with the “whataboutery” is odd. The child is there for a total of twelve hours over the six weeks holiday. It’s very unlikely that anything is going to happen really.

You seem overly anxious about unlikely events.

It was probably a Christmas gift, as if that matters.

£18 per hr

Or maybe OP's cleaner isn't as poor as some pp's think.

Truth is, no one knows for sure.

I keep at thought on the legal and insurance aspects. It’s stupid to ignore these.

This sums it up…..

There is only a certain amount of hours that a home cleaner can do, it is a vigorous job, full on from start to finish, even very fit cleaners would find 8 hours/3 clients extremely hard work in a day.

The narrative is that she has brought her child to work and that, presumably, if she didn’t have to do that, she wouldn’t. The OP can either choose to be kind/ compassionate or not. She may find herself having to do the cleaning herself but hey ho.

Yes, why wouldn't I. If someone is working at my house, I wouldn't care a less

Even if you pay a decent rate, cleaning is usually unstable work. 2 hours here, a journey to the next one then another two hours etc etc. Probably no paid holidays or national insurance. It's not the same as a monthly wage where you do the same job for 40 hours a week. I always say that is can be a lot to pay but not much to earn.

Here's some new for you too. Most responsible parents (which the cleaner clearly is) would talk to their children and tell them not to be touching anything in someone else's house. The girl is sitting on a couch, she's not racing round like a toddler. You seem to be another one who imagines danger/accidents everywhere.

That’s right but mentioning an iPad is pretty redundant.

Or maybe now that her child is older, she is simply just trying to avoid paying for holiday clubs in the summer.

It could be several things and isn't necessarily that the cleaner can't afford childcare. Especially since she's cleaned for OP for a year and this is the first school holidays where she has seen the child.

Absolutely agree with you!